This was supposed to be out two days ago, but with the shitiness of the site in the last few days, I wasn't able to. Well, here it is now in all its glory. Since this is late, it means that the next chapter will be out that much sooner! (:

All in his head

Chapter Two: It's not so bad.

If Naruto-centric

Naruto's thoughts

"Kyuubi's thoughts"

Sasuke's thoughts

"Normal Dialogue"

"I think your pink haired friend is behind this."

Why do you say that?

Kyuubi had come out and revealed the accusation after walking for quite a while. They had went through glades and crossed planks over streams and now they were back on the well preserved dirt road to the wave country. Naruto cursed when he stepped on a puddle.

"Don't you think she's being a little suspicious?"

Naruto glanced at Sakura to the left who was chatting animatedly with Tazuna, who seemed weary. He noticed that she hadn't spoken to Sasuke since the day before.

I really don't see why Sakura-chan would do this. He folded his arms behind his head and pouted. Besides, Sakura-chan's gonna be my wife someday when I become Hokage! That caused him to grin.

"Keep telling yourself that brat. She wouldn't touch you if you threatened to give out pictures of her natural hair color. She's a bitch and you know it."

Naruto scowled outwardly. Would you stop using that word already?! Why does everyone in my head have a potty mouth?!

Fuck. These sandals are a bitch! I would have been better off if I wore fucking clogs. Why would there still be puddles in the middle of noon anyway?

See?! See?! I have a feeling this was just you changing your voice cause I swear you two have like the same vocabulary!

"Its Friday the thirteenth brat, not April fools. And besides, there's an awful lot of room in this hollow skull of yours for me, him, and your sensei's porn collection."

Oh shut up. And Kakashi only has one book I think. It's the only one he ever carries.

"True, true. But anyway, even your secret admirer thinks there's something odd about that konoichi today."

he's not my secret admirer.

God I wish I could just tie Naruto up to that tree over there and fuck his brains out. bastard! That was you!

"Hehe…sorry, just couldn't help it." The fox laughed for a while longer before Naruto spoke, mentally.

Um…fox? What is this "fuck" you bastards keep saying? I know it's a bad word and all but what does it actually mean?




"…you'll know when you're older," Was the simple answer.

Hey! That's not fair! What's the big deal?!

Suddenly an image of a hotdog lodged in a mayonnaise jar filled the confines of his mind.

What…the hell…is that? His mind demanded. The fox was making him hungry.

"Sorry, forgot to add one important detail." At that instant a hand came into the picture and held the tip of the hotdog, thrusting it up and down into the mayo jar. "That, my boy, is fucking." The fox was definitely grinning, teeth bared.

What?! That's not fucking! That's food! You're making me hungry on purpose stupid furball!


"What?!" The blond had spun around to face a stunned Uchiha. The others had also stopped what they were doing in response to the sudden outburst.

"What?" Sasuke demanded in shock. What did he do?

"You said my name, so what did you want?" He insisted.

"No I didn't!" What the hell is wrong with you?

Naruto paled after hearing both Sasuke's words and his thoughts. My bad…

"Sasuke-kun didn't say anything Naruto! We were all being quiet until you just flipped out!" Sakura had her hands to her hips and glared indignantly at the embarrassed blond. Tazuna nodded along briskly.

"Is something wrong Naruto?" Kakashi approached him still holding his book, but with an eye locked on him.

Naruto looked nervously between the faces around him. From Sasuke's cocked eyebrow, to Sakura's irritated expression, to Kakashi's mild curiosity.

"Oh it's nothing! Nothing! I just thought I heard someone call my name and since Sasuke-teme was the closest one, I just assumed it was him! Sorry!" He sweatdropped and waved his hands in front of him in his defense.

Kakashi cupped his chin with a faraway look. "Hearing voices eh? That is never a good sign for a ninja. There could be genjutsu about; we'll just have to be more cautious."

Sakura rolled her eyes and proceeded ahead. Naruto was just being a bother as usual.

Naruto tensed when the Jounin lowered himself, clothed lip to his ear. "Are sure you're alright? You've been acting strange all day. It's not like you to act so subdued."

He not kissing Naruto...He is not kissing Naruto…He better NOT be kissing Naruto!

He could just feel the murderous aura behind him, and he had a feeling Kakashi did too. He quickly separated his ear from the man's face. "I already told you sensei! I didn't get any sleep, I'm different when I don't sleep! And also when I don't get ramen. Did you know that?! I didn't even have time to eat ramen for breakfast this morning." He blurted out hurriedly and scratched the back of his head, clearly flustered.

Kakashi's one little eye grew before it bent down to a happy grin. He stood straight and sighed. "Whatever you say Naruto…kun." He did that creepy wink thing again and calmly went after Sakura and Tazuna. "Walk faster you two so we can find someplace to camp. We don't want Naruto-kun dying of ramen deprivation."

That fucking son-of-a-bitch doing it on purpose I'll fucking kill him fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!

Though his mind screamed bloody murder, his face was as blank as Naruto's mind used to be. "Move it dobe." He said as he pushed a rigid Naruto forward.

"Dammit don't touch me teme!" he screamed irritably and walked on his own, mumbling curses.

"Smooth move brat. You're gonna have to learn to distinguish the voices in your mind from the voices outside. Which reminds me of something interesting, why don't you just tell our stoic faced friend that you can hear his every mental utterance?"

What?! Are you kidding me?! He's gonna hate me and think I'm a freak! I don't need any more of that in my life…

"So you've already acknowledged that he has a thing for you?"

What? No! No way! I understand that he likes me but…I don't know. He has no reason to like me more than that…

"So would you be happy if he did?"

I don't know. I guess…

Naruto sighed sadly and looked at Sakura a few meters ahead of him. I don't get it. I'm supposed to have a crush on Sakura-chan!

"Oh please. Don't start that again."

I'm serious dammit! I know I still like her!

"Fine, do whatever you want. But if you start fucking her I'm picking the ugly genes. I'm a holy demon with an unholy amount of chakra. I can do that."

Naruto bobbed his head in confusion. Fucking? He shook his head zealously and proceeded to Sakura's side.

Oh great. There he goes. Why doesn't he just commit suicide or play an accordion. It hurts less.

Naruto winced without fully understanding what Sasuke was thinking about. He regarded him briefly; his face was as hard to figure out as usual.

"Oi Sakura-chan!" he bellowed as if Sakura was in another country and not right beside him. "You know, later, when we rest for camp and I get to eat some ramen, I wanna show you this new juts-"

Just look at him. Slobbering all over her like some mangy mutt. I guess it makes sense, her being a bitch and all. Why can't he just give it up?

The blonde's eyes twitched involuntarily, lips shaking. He just wanted to go over there and clobber the Uchiha, though that would only make him look even crazier, and Kakashi might send him back to Konoha.

Sakura's eyes drifted to him finally. "Naruto? You were saying something?" Seriously, couldn't he just stop wasting her time and ask her out already so she could reject him brutally?

It took time before Naruto could process it. He was too busy trying to send his thoughts over to Sasuke. A virtual beating was better than nothing. "Oh…uh…what was I saying? Yeah, um, right. There's this new jutsu I learned, it's called the kage bunshin and it's really cool and hard to do cause-"

Crash and burn Naruto, crash and burn. If you were talking to me I'd never treat you that way. Well…then again, I do, but never on purpose. Can't you see she obviously hates you? I mean she made it pretty clear she wants only me. Stupid dobe.

Naruto was gritting his teeth at that point, he looked over his shoulder at Sasuke who calmly raised an eyebrow in question, hands in his pocket and smug as a rug. He sighed loudly and decided that it wasn't worth it. But not because Sasuke said so! "Um…never mind Sakura-chan…forget I said anything…" He slowly moved away before sending a hateful glare at Sasuke and looking back at the road.

Sasuke was beyond confused. What the hell did I do NOW? Seriously there's some serious shit going on with that baka and he's making it seem like it's my fault! How can it be my fault when I don't know what the fuck's going on?!

The raven narrowed his eyes and sped up to behind Naruto. "Oi dobe."

Oh I'm not falling for that again! He can think my name as much as he wants; I'm not embarrassing myself again!


Nope. Not listening. Just keep saying my name teme.

"Oi Naruto!"

Did he actually hear that? Maybe he can read my mind too…OH SHIT!

The blond snapped back to reality when a smack to his shoulder ended his contemplation. "Ow! What the hell is wrong with you teme?!" He rubbed at his shoulder and glared fiery daggers at the black haired boy.

"Me?! What the hell is wrong with you?! I've been trying to get your attention for almost two minutes now! If you've got a problem with me just say it Naruto! But don't ignore me!"

Naruto paled with a tint of a blush. He didn't need to read his mind to know that Sasuke was obviously upset. Hurt even.

I just wanna know what's wrong with you dobe…do you really hate me that much?

Naruto could feel the guilt threading in his heart and bowed his head. Sasuke just stood there, staring at him. The other members of their group just went on ahead, thinking it was another one of their little quarrels.

You knew he was talking to me didn't you? Naruto growled within his head.

"I swear, I heard nothing. I was busying myself with ignoring that pitiful performance you had with the konoichi. So, so pitiful.

I so hate you right now.

Naruto lifted his head and met eyes with Sasuke, who seemed concerned as well as hurt. "I'm sorry teme, I don't hate you…just…leave me alone right now okay?"

Sasuke was stunned, how did Naruto know what he was thinking? Before he could do anything about it Naruto had already ran on ahead at a brisk pace.

Dammit dobe…why do you keep hiding from me? I don't like it when you're acting like this. I don't want you acting like me…I know there's definitely something wrong with you and I intend to find out what!

With that thought, Naruto increased speed, going past Kakashi who looked on warily.

God, you look so hot when you run. Your ass squeezing together like that. Fuck!

Shut up you damn furball! This isn't the time for your stupid jokes!

"That wasn't me…"

Another hour passed and Kakashi refused to stop for lunch until they would arrive at the river which they would have to cross to get to the Country of the Wave. Naruto was even quieter than before which set his mind ablaze of questions from Sasuke, who gave up in trying to get answers from him though his mind refused to rest.

Naruto was frustrated and tired. Frustrated of Sasuke's blaring thoughts and tired for he really didn't get that much sleep, thanks to, you guessed it. He was also irritated that he kept stepping on puddles; water seeped up his orange jumpsuit making it seriously uncomfortable. What the hell was up with all the puddles?

"Just talk to him brat. Ease his mind as well as yours. So I can get some sleep!"

I can't do that. I'm sore enough as it is just hearing what he thinks. Conversation would be very…awkward. I mean, what if he says something and his mind says something else? How am I supposed to carry that on?

Kyuubi sighed a beastly sigh. "Whatever kid. So you know, your conscience is screaming right now. Your making him think that it's his fault you're acting this way."

well, it sort of is his fault…

"Now, we both know that's not how you feel."

Wait…what's that feeling? I sense something…

Naruto stopped in his tracks. Finally! A thought that wasn't about him. But that wasn't it…

"So you sense it too eh Naruto?" Kakashi also stopped beside him, looking into the surroundings.

"What's going on sensei?" Sakura asked a bit fearfully. Tazuna stood next to her cautiously.

Seemingly out of nowhere, two dark figures sprang up behind them, connected by a painful looking chain. Swiftly, the duo wrapped their link around an unprepared Kakashi and literally tore him into pieces like a metal boa constrictor.


Sakura screamed in horror but instinctively took her position in front of Tazuna, protecting him.

Naruto stood frozen, unable to move. Oh my God…what just happened?

Before Kyuubi could even reply a tall shadow went over the blonde's head, the attackers posed behind him, grins hidden by their gas masks.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes empathically, though his face exuded calm, his mind was a cacophonous contradiction. Shit! Fuck! I KNEW there was something about the puddles! Fuck! What the hell do I do?! I didn't actually MEAN for the bastard to die! Fuck! I must protect the client at all costs! But most of all…I must protect Naruto!

At the back of his mind, Naruto was yelling at Sasuke for even thinking about prioritizing at that situation, but the rest of him didn't have much to say. He was stricken with fear and his eyes bugged out in terror. He was rooted to the spot and Sasuke's voice filled his skull more than his own, he was paralyzed. What kind of Ninja was he?!

He could only watch, frozen as the chains spread to wrap around his body and initiate his quick demise.


Sasuke leapt into the air, hurling a shuriken at the deadly link that was just above Naruto's head. The figures gasped behind their masks as the chain that connected them locked to a tree. While still in the air, Sasuke threw a kunai further trapping what had almost killed Naruto.

Even then, Naruto couldn't move. Couldn't hear Sasuke's frantic thoughts or Kyuubi's. The dark ninjas, aware what was a lost cause, broke from their chain as one rushed to Sasuke just as he landed on the ground. The raven was able to parry the first few strikes with his kunai but winced when his enemy managed to slash his hand with his talons.

The other sprinted to Sakura, taking advantage of Naruto's immobility and Sasuke's diversion. He aimed a claw at Sakura, who merely held a kunai in front of her breast, not knowing what else to do. Tazuna stood behind her, shocked.

"Stay back!" Sakura screamed.

That got Sasuke's attention and he looked over at Naruto, who didn't seem to be breathing.

What the hell is wrong with you dobe?! He seemed to be asking himself that a lot lately. Dammit do something! Cursing lowly, Sasuke evaded another skin-tearing swipe and zoomed in front of Sakura, bracing himself. Hope your happy Naruto…

The blond in question felt like he was drowning, everything moving in slow motion. Tears were threatening to fall from his eyes as realizations and Sasuke's thoughts hit him hard.

What the hell am I doing here…I can't do anything…

"He was just worried about you you know."

I know that…and I was being as much of an ass to him this morning as I am now. I'm useless…I…I know I'm not like this! I'm not a coward! I'm not afraid of what he thinks and I'm not afraid of ninjas either! I'm strong…that's what I've always told myself.

"He knows that too."

Please Naruto…

Something inside of him came back to life after hearing those words. A part of him that had temporarily died when he thought he had lost someone important just because he knew what they really thought. But now, somebody needed him.

Somebody who obviously cared about him.

With a boost from the fox's chakra, Naruto sped from his spot with impossible speed. He gripped a kunai and deflected the oncoming claw with enough force to break his arm, saving Sasuke from a painful maiming.

The other ninja however, had no one to stop him from stabbing Naruto in the back but was surprisingly kept from doing so…

By Kakashi! Who had him in a headlock! The very much alive Jounin materialized in front of the one that Naruto knocked down and held him in the same way.

Naruto was panting, he wasn't used to using the Kyuubi's chakra. Sakura stared in wonder and relief at their sensei. "Kakashi sensei! You're alive!"

"Show off." Sasuke muttered, wincing as he held his bleeding hand.

"Sorry about that kids, I just had to make sure who they were after." His grip on their necks tightened. One eye glared accusingly at Tazuna. "Someone has some explaining to do."

The old man released the breath he had kept since the assassins appeared, feeling guilty.

"Sasuke, you might want to get that hand looked at, it looks pretty bad." The Jounin said over his shoulder as he tied the now unconscious ninjas to a tree.

Sakura cupped her mouth with a gasp upon seeing Sasuke's wound. "Sasuke-kun! It looks like it's poisoned! It won't stop bleeding!"

The raven winced at Sakura's voice. "It's nothing." Sasuke stated with a bored tone.

Dammit fuck! It hurts like shit! Fuck! God why the hell does it hurt so much! It feels like my hand is getting burned off!

Naruto observed Sasuke's blank expression though he was obviously in pain, he was one to keep things bottled. Naruto sighed and took Sasuke's bleeding hand into his own.

"W-what the hell are you doing?"

"Shut up teme. I can heal it." he whispered softly. "Trust me." I'll make it up to you…

Kakashi approached the two. "Naruto, are you sure-"

"Yes sensei. I can do it." Naruto looked deeply into Kakashi's stunned eye. Blue eyes were pleading with the Jounin to trust him and not ask how. Kakashi understood. He knew of the blonde's secret.

"What's going on?" Sakura asked, disconcerted with the way Naruto was holding Sasuke's hand.

Kakashi didn't answer and gripped the blonde's shoulder, smiling warmly behind his mask. "You all did wonderfully today, though Naruto surprised me the most. He was obviously afraid, though he got past all that to save his team and our client. That's a true shinobi"

Naruto chuckled, embarrassed. "Stop it sensei! What do you expect from Konoha's most surprising ninja?"

Tazuna scoffed and smirked amusedly. "I was surprised all right. I thought we were all gonna die when Hokage boy here stood there, pissing his pants." The man laughed heartily, holding a jug of sake.

Naruto reddened considerably. "Shut the hell up you old fart! I just stepped on a lot of puddles! Not like you did any better!"

Kakashi couldn't help but grin. THAT was the Naruto he knew.

Sasuke stared at his hand in astonishment as it was covered by Naruto's. Vapor was rising from the cuts and could feel the pain leaving him quickly. What was going on? How was Naruto doing that?

When he looked up he was rewarded with the most beautiful via Naruto. His blue eyes were shining with the light he hadn't seen all day, back full force. He found himself drowning in them.

Naruto sighed inwardly, happy at making Sasuke smile. You know, this whole knowing what he thinks thing. It's not so bad.

"Finally getting used to the idea eh?"

I guess…it has it's upsides I admit.

His face fell however when images started floating around his skull. Sasuke was still looking at him as if he was infatuated.

Never mind! Never mind! I take it back! I take it all back! This is just too damn weird!

Kyuubi couldn't answer, as his cage was flooded with little imaginary hearts. Sasuke and Naruto's names were inscribed on each one.

Hope you loved it, and I will be back really soon, hopefully. Please tell me what you think, for I will never assume that this chapter is any good unless you say so.

Zabuza and Haku await us in the next episode of All in his head. Later!