Disclaimer: We all know that I don't own them.

Rating: All ages

Category: Humour, Missing Scene

Author's Notes: Two small expletives. Feedback always welcome. Once again, many thanks to my fabulous beta reader CeeKay Sheppard.

The Carter Special

Colonel Jack O'Neill walked into the locker room, where the other three members of SG-1 were stowing their gear and discussing whether they should eat on base or venture into the outside. The day had been long and bloody. As always, this made the team reluctant to separate, each of them sensing the need for companionship in themselves and each other. Jack crossed over to his locker, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the peg.

"Where do you want to eat, Jack?" questioned Daniel.

"Ah, whatever you guys want is fine with me. But I was thinking maybe we could do some kind of takeout and head to my place. I think there's a game on tonight."

Daniel groaned aloud at the proposition of sports, while Teal'C inwardly winced. He never quite understood the Tau'ri fascination with certain televised sports, hockey being a notable exception to this rule.

Sam simply rolled her eyes with a grin. After all, she had shared her formative years with an older brother. Not to mention her father, whose dreams had come true with the advent of the remote control and picture-in-picture television. While Sam did not usually watch sports if she had a say in the matter, she certainly didn't object once they were on.

"Well, if we have to watch sports then we might as well go for pizza. I'm assuming you have beer, sir," Sam suggested, cutting off the potential hour-long argument. Pizza was always a safe bet.

"When have you ever known me not to have beer, Carter? Daniel, T, pizza okay with you two?"

"Indeed," voiced Teal'C while Daniel muttered something incoherent, which could be clearly translated by the others in the affirmative. Decision made, the four continued getting ready to leave for the night.

Jack broke the silence, sensing the pall created by the day creeping back into the quiet. "Hey, Carter. I was just down in the armoury and it reminded me that I've been meaning to ask you something."


"When did you put together that gun? You know, the one that they've started calling the 'Carter Special'?"

When no answer was forthcoming after several minutes, he looked over at Sam who was fidgeting nervously by her locker, her fingers undoing and redoing the bottom button on her shirt as she mouthed something at Daniel. Turning his full attention to her he questioned, "Carter?"

Sam turned to face her commanding officer, straightening her spine. Trying to keep her hands still she clasped them behind her back. Daniel and Teal'C suddenly became very interested in tying their shoes.

"Um, well…" Carter trailed off.

"Carter? I'm waiting," Jack stated, his voice adopting some of his "command tone."

"Well, um. Do you remember that weekend about a month ago when you asked if I wanted to go fishing with you sir? And I said that I couldn't because Teal'C wanted to go see a 'Tau'ri' museum, but Daniel was already busy?"


Sam cast a quick glare at the other two intentionally preoccupied men then drew a deep breath and plunged on quickly, her words practically running together. "Daniel spent the weekend at his house watching documentaries, Teal'C spent it in the gym, and I built the gun." Sam's face was scrunched up in guilt, her fingers twisting together behind her back.

Jack stared at his second-in-command, battling with himself about whether he was annoyed with or impressed with their deception. He fought the urge to laugh at Sam's obviously guilt-ridden expression. He looked at Daniel, who was covertly watching him and was also looking guilty – more likely for hanging Sam out to dry like that than for pulling one over on him. And if Jack didn't know any better, he would have sworn that Teal'C had a smirk on his face. A very small smirk, granted, but a smirk nonetheless.

Jack turned back to the still fidgeting Sam and pressed on, unable to keep the mirth completely out of his voice, and struggling not to smile. "You lied to me, Carter? You lied to your commanding officer and the second-in-command of the SGC?"

Sam opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Teal'C's bass, "Major Carter did not lie to you O'Neill."

"Excuse me, Teal'C, but Carter just admitted it. You heard her."

Daniel finally jumped in to support Sam, "Um, actually, Jack, I seem to recall that Sam asked if you wanted to join them on their trip to the museum. You said no."

"Yes, but apparently there was no intention of going to the museum," Jack countered.

"Sir, if you'd said yes we really would have gone."

"Ah, but you knew that I'd say 'no', didn't you?" Jack pinned Sam again with a hard look and wagged his finger at her. Seeing Jack quickly try to suppress another grin, Sam sheepishly nodded her head affirmatively.

Jack opened his mouth to continue the argument, but was interrupted by his stomach growling. Sam giggled before pressing her lips together and turning her head away, pulling a pair of boots out of her locker. Daniel smirked openly at Jack.

"Don't think you're getting away with it this easily, kids, especially you, 'Museum Boy,'" Jack assured them as he pulled on his leather jacket, pushing Daniel towards the door of the locker room.

As Jack hit the light switch, Teal'C's voice carried back to him from further down the hall, "In actuality, O'Neill, it was I who was charged with preparing that month's cover story." Jack stood stunned in the now dark room. He started to smile at the thought of Teal'C considering what kind of excuse would best put him off the trail before the implications of the full sentence wormed their way into his brain. He called down the hall, trailing after his team.

"What the hell do you mean by 'that month's cover story'?! Teal'C? Daniel? Carter? Dammit!"