This story has been in my mind for a while and it wouldn't go away so I decided to put it down. Please give me any and all constructive criticsm so that I can improve my writing.
Beast Boy stood up on the top of the tower with his knapsack in hand; it didn't take a genius to figure out what he had in mind. He had decided to leave the Titans, just as he decided to leave the Doom Patrol. He was tired of failing the women that he cared about and loved. Earlier that day Raven finally broke away from Trigon for good and finally found the happiness that she so desperately wanted her whole life but was denied because of who her father was. And Beast Boy wasn't a single bit of help to her. No, it was Robin. Beast Boy wasn't jealous of Robin; if he thought that Robin had eyes for anyone other than Starfire things were going to get very interesting around the Tower. No, in fact he was actually grateful that Robin did what he knew he couldn't do, save Raven. Hell, he didn't do any good for Raven. Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, hell even Slade had helped Raven, but not him. He knew that he should have done something to save her from Trigon, he should have found a way to help her but who was he kidding, he could never help any woman that he loved.
He couldn't help his mother Marie, from drowning in that boat. He knew that if he had sucked up and not panicked like a little child then he could have found a form that he knew that he could change into that could have saved them. He had heard everyone always say that it wasn't his fault, that he was just a child and didn't have any type of experience or training with his powers, he hadn't had them that long and he didn't know what to do with them. They were his parents though he should have found that inner power, like they do in the animes that he loved so much, and found a way to save him. They saved his life he should have found a way to save theirs.
Rita, his adoptive mother, wasn't dead but there were so many times when he could have saved her but failed. The only time he ever really saved her was when they destroyed the first black hole machine of the Brotherhood of Evil. He grimaced at the thought when they were all trapped in that gas chamber. He had foolishly run off to into a trap, because he thought he saw General Immortus in a room. Rita came into get him and the room filled with gas as soon as they entered it. If Larry had destroyed it with his shadow self and Cliff hadn't broken down the door they would have both been dead.
Terra. Did he really need to get into how many times he failed her? He should have gone after her when she ran away and told her what really happened, that Robin figured out that she couldn't control her powers. When she came back, he should have proven to her that she didn't need Slade and that she could just forget about her promise to him. The Titans would have protected her from him. When she betrayed them he should have said that he was still her friend, which he knew it was a lie when he told her that she didn't have any friends, and that they would try to make sure that she would make up for her mistake. And he should have found a way to stop her from turning into Stone.
Raven, the girl that he was in love with now. The moment she turned into the portal he realized how much she meant to him. He loved her as much as his own mother and when Trigon came he knew that he should have said something. He should have tried harder, called in the Doom Patrol, the JLA, hell even Titan's East to help her, but he was foolish enough to think that they could stop Trigon without any of their help. He never could help the women he loved, not even Starfire who he loved like the sister that he never had. He was the one who got her into trouble with Silkie and thank god Robin had a bigger heart then he sometimes showed when he let her keep him. Of course, he didn't think that Robin could ever turn down Starfire when she showed her big doe eyes.
He would miss all of them; he wrote notes and attached them to all of their doors explaining how much he would miss them and what they meant to him. Robin, the guy who took him in when no one did and gave him some kind of purpose. He looked up to him a lot and he couldn't have asked for a better leader. Starfire, his big sister, who always looked out for him and try to make sure that he was ok. Cyborg, his best friend, the guy he did everything with. From playing video games to pulling pranks to just hanging out together, they would do everything together. Finally Raven, the girl he loved and would never tell, as corny as that sounded, did so much for him. Yes, they would bicker but he had always seen that as friendly competition and just something that they did together. He loved everything about her from her looks, he always thought that she was pretty, to her intelligence, she could give Cyborg a run for his money, to her care for her friends, and she never hesitated to heal anyone, no matter how small, even though it took a lot out of her. He hoped that she found somebody to make her happy, he knew that he couldn't, he couldn't even protect her. Who knows maybe Kid Flash could be that guy. He had called him and told him to come in the morning to talk to him about something. He was going to have Flash be his replacement, no use in leaving the Titans short changed. When Flash showed up he would call with his communicator and ask him to stay on. He knew that Kid Flash was a better fighter than him, plus he was funny which filled the jokester role.
"Well, no use in delaying it might as well go. Bye guys I hope that you do well and who knows maybe we'll see each other around." With that Beast Boy turned into a pterodactyl and grabbed his knapsack.
"If you go I will drag you back and hurt you," a voice behind him said. He turned back and saw Raven.
"Eeep!" Beast Boy squeaked. He really hoped that he could get away unnoticed.
"Uhh, hi Raven. What's up?" Beast Boy asked nonchalant.
"Don't play dumb with me Garfield, I saw your note." Beast Boy was glad he left out the part of him loving her. "Did you really think that we wouldn't try and go after you because of a few choice words and sentiments? What made you think that you could do this and get away with it?" Beast Boy could tell she was angry with him, but he also noticed that even though she tried to hide it there was hurt in her voice.
"I don't know, I just thought that I could sneak out without you seeing me. Heh heh guess I was dumb huh?" Beast Boy chuckled trying to play it off as a joke.
"You're damn right you were dumb then. Robin learned from Batman how to track down anyone. Cyborg has a built in computer in his brain and could access any newspaper in the world of where to find you. Starfire came from a warrior culture and they train diligently on how to track. Let's not even get into all the spells I could use to find you. Trust me Beast Boy we would have found you." Raven hissed
"I guess you're right," Beast Boy shrugged. He should have known that they would eventually found him, that still didn't change the fact that he knew what he was doing was right.
"Now then Beast Boy. Let's talk about why you thought you should leave," Raven glared. He thought he could leave without even explaining why?
"I don't want to talk about it," Beast Boy said looking at his feet.
"Oh you're going to talk about it even if we have to stand here all night."
"I really don't want to Raven." Beast Boy answered back.
"Because I'm tired of not protecting the women I love and care about! There you happy? I couldn't protect you from Trigon and therefore I should leave before you get hurt again or Starfire."
"Beast Boy," Raven started. He knew that something was bothering him halfway through the victory celebration earlier that night. He went with his charade of acting like nothing was wrong, but you couldn't lie to empathy.
"I'm just tired of not being able to help the women I care so much about Raven. I've never been able to help anyone I truly care about and you were the straw that broke the camel's back." Beast Boy said with his ears drooped.
"Beast Boy," Raven said coming over to him. "No one could help me from Trigon. The demon blood in me would have eventually ushered him in whether it was tonight or later. There wasn't anything that could be done about it. When I first came to Earth from Azarath I went to Dr. Fate and asked him if he could do anything and he said there was nothing that could be done to stop it. He told me to enjoy what time I had left and that prophecies aren't always clear. He said that yes I would bring Trigon to Earth but that didn't mean that it was absolute for eternity. I thought he was being naïve, but he was right it wasn't for eternity. So you see Beast Boy you didn't fail me, no one did."
"Yes, I did fail you Raven. Was there anything I could have done to stop him from coming, no, but I still should have done something better to help you when he did come. All I really did was get beat down by my dark side and distract him some. It was Robin who helped you not me. Even Slade did more for you then I could." Beast Boy said looking glum.
"Garfield, you did help me a lot. Even though deep down I knew there was nothing that could be done to stop it you gave me hope. You said that we would try to stop it and that meant more to me than anything that could ever be said. It showed that even though I was supposed to bring someone who was practically Satan to this Earth that there were people who would stand by me no matter what. That, to me, meant that I was truly loved."
"But you haven't been the only one that I didn't do enough for Raven. I have failed everyone in my life, everyone. I failed my parents, Raven. They died in a boating accident and I couldn't save them. They saved my life and I should have been able to save them." Now I see why I don't really have these conversations a lot out in the open. They can get depressing. Beast Boy thought.
"Garfield there was nothing you could have done to save them. You were a child and no one that young could have save them. I heard even Superman didn't really have that much power when he was just a child so please stop beating yourself up." Raven pleaded. She knew that he had some problems, no one in their line of work didn't, but she didn't know that they were that deep.
"I know you're right. It's just I can't help any of the people I love and I'm tired of it."
"Garfield, you need to understand that you help in ways that no one else can. After Robin, I don't think that there was anyone more than you who helped Starfire in her adaptation into Earth culture than you. Cyborg told me that you were the first person ever to think that his robotic half was actually cool and not freaky. He said that you thought he was like Robotman 2.0. Even when you found out what my father was after going into my head you didn't care. You were more freaked out that I had a portal into my head and not that I was half-demon."
"I don't care about stuff like that Rae." Beast Boy shrugged. It didn't matter to him about that kind of stuff.
"Don't you see that's how you help the people you love. You give them full and unconditional acceptance no matter where they come from. You judge people on their actions and not their heritage or their looks. That means more to us than anything else that you could do."
"Thanks Rae that means a lot."
"I know you love me Beast Boy."
"What the-" well that came out of left field.
"I said I know you love me Beast Boy."
"H-h-h-how?" Beast Boy stammered.
"You mean besides the constant jokes, trying to include me, and overall pestering? I confirmed it when my empathy was totally lifted from my father." Raven said. She was actually getting quite amused by Beast Boy's stammering. He was cute when he got like that.
"Ok, well there goes my cover. Well how do you feel?" He asked hoping to God that she returned it.
"I feel the same way Beast Boy. Why do you think I came out here to stop you? Do you think I would let you leave without telling you how I feel." Raven said.
"Y-y-y-you do? Awesome Raven you have no idea how that makes me feel." Beast Boy said running up to her and giving her a hug.
"All right all right, enough with the mushiness," Raven said embarrassedly. She may love him but public displays of affections did not sit all that well with her.
"heh heh, sorry Rae." Beast Boy blushed.
"It's ok." Raven smiled.
"I do love you Raven," Beast Boy said
"I love you too Garfield." As she brought her lips to his and gave him a deep loving kiss. Once they broke Beast Boy looked her in the eyes.
"So with your whole empathy thing could you answer me one question? So Robin and Starfire feel the same way about each other?"