Spoilers: Season 13 mainly
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters Yada yada yada………………..
Right Guys so I'm off college Ill! And tho I feel like poo! Im bored out my mind so I thought I'd post this up its just a load of ray angst at the moment. I will try and update as soon as poss. Hope u enjoy. And please review! Good or bad I'm not bothered!
Ray sighed and slumped down into the sofa, He had a date with Katie in an hour he really should be getting ready, but he just couldn't find the energy to move from the spot where he was. This is what she had done to him, she's sucked all the energy from him, he was always so tiered.
It wasn't really her who took his energy; it was something that came with being an ER doctor. exhaustion. No what she'd taken was point to everything. With her around there was a point for doing something because it would always involve her. And knowing that there was a point to something always gave him sort of energy. But with her gone, he had to find a different point to everything.
At first his new focus the "point" of almost everything he did was to get her to talk to him keep her in his life as much as possible, It was hard she tried so hard to shut him out, but as long as he got a smile or "Hello" from her as she rushed by trying to look busy, he could remain positive keep his energy up to try and get more out of her each day. Then things changed. Michael Died.
As sick as it was he was slightly happy that he was dead. It gave him some kind of hope that maybe just maybe now he had a chance with her. But he hated himself for thinking that, especially when he saw the hurt and devastation in her eyes. It broke his heart to see her like that. He found himself a new point to make sure she was ok to comfort her, but that one was gone as soon as it started, first of all she told him to "Stay the hell away!" Which he tried to rationalise as her way off dealing with the pain, just to push him away. And then Pratt told him to stay away too claim in he would "complicate things" How would he complicate things all he wanted to do was help her, he would never dream of causing her any more pain.
Time went by and he kept hanging in there hoping that when she was ready she would come to him. But then He turned up, sniffing around her when her husband was barely cold in his grave. And thus came the new point to every thing Hating Tony Gates! He was pleased to see at first she rejected all his advances and seemed pretty indifferent to Gates. But she was pretty indifferent to him too, he tried to make her jealous asking her advice about going out with Katie, he had no intention of actually doing it, but when she showed no particular interest in whether he dated Katie or not he decided why not? Why shouldn't he have some fun? He didn't really have fun though, Katie was nice enough hey before he could have seen them leading somewhere, but not anymore she wasn't Neela.
He must have been pretty obvious about how he felt because Katie ended it pretty much as soon as it started, it was obvious she'd sussed how he felt about Neela, He couldn't say he was bothered, although slightly offended about her mocking his "technique" He'd had no complaints before. So he carried on with trying to get Neela to notice him. He didn't care if she could never love him like he loved her, just her friendship would be fine right now.
Then it happened, He saw them together. His whole body burned with jealousy, anger and hate. His heart shattered into a million pieces, he could feel the tears beginning to form but he bit them back. How could she be with him! He could never love her the way Ray would, the way he did! He could bet that Tony was only after one thing. At that very moment Ray hatred Tony more than he'd ever hated any one before, he wanted to go in there and rip his head off. The only thing that stopped him Lamping him one was the thought of how much it would upset Neela.
Ray tried again to make her jealous, he asked Katie out again. And for the first few months he tried to flaunt her in front of Neela as much as possible. But she didn't care or at least she didn't seem to. So he and Katie continued dating, he guessed it was fun…. But he just couldn't get Neela out his head. And slowly he gave up on Neela, she was never going to be his, and with that everything lost its point.
Slumped there on his sofa Ray made a decision, he was going to give every thing a new point. To get over Neela. It was going to be hard but it had to be done, he couldn't spend the rest of his life moping over the loss of something that was never his in the first place. He had to move on and stop thinking about her. And why not start with Katie she was nice enough and he had never really given her a proper chance. Tonight on his date he was going to be 100 focused on Katie not off dreaming about Neela. Talking of Katie he realised he had to get ready else he would be late. Just as he headed towards his room he heard a knocking on the door, who could that be? He was picking Katie up so it couldn't be her, realising how late he already was he decided to ignore it, and when into his room throwing his shirt to the floor, the knocking persisted, so sighing he turned and headed towards the door………………………………
Oh I wonder who it could be hey? Right well review away people! Sorry if it's a bit muddled remember I Ill!