Words In The Dark
I'm pretty sure this isn't how things were supposed to be. I'm pretty sure things were supposed to happen in a completely different way but now I can't change a damn thing. I just got caught up in the moment and now, I've completely screwed things up with her. Now she's going to end up calling me a jerk, cocky, and our friendship with end as soon as she wakes up and realize what we did. Eh, I can't believe I could let this happen. We're best friends, that's where we drew the line… and now, she's lying in the bed next to me. How could I let this happen? She's going to hate me, I know it.
I stared at the ceiling for I don't know how long until I finally looked over at the clock. 3:27AM. Wonderful. No where near daylight and there's no sign of salvation any time soon. I had fallen asleep with her many times before… not in a sexual way, just watching a movie, or when we sat by each other on a long plane trip. I knew she would sleep till morning… or so I thought.
I rolled over to face her, watching her breathe lightly in her sleep. I knew as soon as she woke up and realized we'd slept together she would freak out, yell, and then storm out of the room. A small piece of her dark brunette/black hair fell from behind her ear into her eyes. I thought a moment, then took my finger and gently placed it back into place. I didn't want to wake her up, but her face was too beautiful to cover up. At this point every dead person on the east side of St. Louis is probably rolling over. I swore I wouldn't fall in love with someone else after things ended with Samantha. But I'm pretty sure it happened. I don't regret loving her, or physically showing it either but first and foremost I didn't want to lose her friendship because of my stupid feelings.
I rolled over to face the wall, staring at it blankly. I wanted to hold her, and feel her body pressed against mine but I knew that would be way too risky. Not to mention awkward if she were to wake up like that. So, I'll just stare at the wall; all night long… or until I finally fall asleep.
I pushed my bag into the overhead compartment and sat down, finally on the plane to… wherever we were going this time. I smiled as I looked over noticing the new girl looking out the window. "Mind if I sit here?" I spoke, watching her jump out of her trace. I laughed a little, not meaning to scare her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you… Randy, Randy Orton..." I put my hand out to shake her hand, "nice to meet you…?" She grabbed my hand lightly and shook. She smiled, staring up into my eyes.
"Hey Randy, I'm Ashley. I was just brought up from OVW. I'm working my first match tonight on Raw with Victoria." I smirked; she knew wrestling… she wasn't an airhead. This could be better than I thought. Thoughts of Sam instantly hit me in the face. This girl was off limits. Besides, I loved my fiancé Sam… right?
We sat there the whole trip just talking, and getting to know one another. She was an amazing person, really caring and sweet. She has a little country twang too, which was just about the hottest thing I'd ever heard. She wasn't the everyday, run-of-the-mill girl that was for sure. Her eyes just kept sucking me into more conversation it seemed…
Eventually we became best friends; we were always around each other. No matter what we were always ribbing each other, talking about life, or hanging out in the most stupid ways possible. It was something I couldn't live without. But sooner or later, somewhere along the line Sam got tried of "being 2nd" to Ashley and she left me. After being engaged for 2 and a half years, she left me. Ashley, for the longest time, thought it was her fault; but it wasn't, it was mine. I fell out of love with Sam at some point and fell in love with Ashley; except, she doesn't know that. But here we are now, in the same bed, after having sex… making love… having sex and she's sleeping beside me… for now.
Here, I'll save you the abridged version of what happened tonight. We finished Raw, we partied, we got drunk, and here we are. I screwed up, fucked up, messed up, however you wanna put it. I did it and now there's nothing I can do to fix it now. Now, I have to live with the consequences…
I finally came to rubbing my temples softly. My head was killing me, hangovers suck. I opened my eyes to find myself in a dark hotel room… but it wasn't mine. Looking around I finally realized where I was at. Randy's bed. Naked. Beside him. Oddly enough, I didn't panic. I wanted it as much as he did. Expect, I didn't let him know that before the fact. I really hope this didn't ruin out friendship but I don't regret doing it in the least. I've liked him since the moment I saw him, but I couldn't do a damn thing about it because of Samantha, but now, she was long gone out of the picture. I don't know if he feels the same way about me that I feel for him but after tonight, I knew things were going to be different no matter what.
I stared off into the darkness to realize he was as far away from me as possible. Back turned towards me, with the blankets pulled up to the middle of his arms. He must have woken up and found us this way… He obviously wanted me here; he hadn't woke me up and/or been in a panic. Honestly, I wanted to be here with him too. Just as much, if not more. When I met him he was with Sam and I knew I wouldn't say or do anything to mess that up for him. They were engaged for crying out loud.
Suddenly I realized they weren't engaged anymore; he was single, and free to do whatever he wanted. He obviously wanted this as much as I did, or he still wouldn't be in the bed with me. He probably thought I'd regret it, but I don't, and won't. I can't hide what I feel anymore.
I pushed myself over closer to him, coming up from behind his back kissing the tattoo on his arm lightly. He didn't move. I ran my fingertips over his arm and kissed him again. He moved a little to lie somewhat on his back and look up at me. "Ashley I'm so sorry…" I cut him off by kissing him passionately.
"Randy, don't apologize for something we both wanted. I don't regret it and I hope you don't either." He reached up and put his hand behind my neck, pulling me down on top of his lips. I felt so safe and wanted in his arms. He was absolutely amazing. He caused feelings I didn't even think were possible. I pulled back from his kiss and just stared into his gorgeous blue eyes. He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. I smiled down at him, and he smirked back.
"I thought it would be awkward, I thought you'd hate me." I laughed, running my fingers through his short brown hair, then down his soft cheek.
"Randy… I can't lie to you anymore. I've had feelings for you since the first time I met you on at plane. You've made my life here in the WWE so much easier than it should have been. You were charming, and sweet. I wanted this just as much as you did, trust me. You are my best friend here and I don't want this to affect that but I can't look at you and say I don't wish we were more than that… because I do."
I couldn't believe the girl I had dreamed about having for so long was actually here with me, lying next to me, saying exactly what I wanted to hear. I smiled up at her and rolled her over onto her back so I could turn to face her in a more normal situation. She couldn't have looked more beautiful than at that moment laying lightly on the pillows, in the dark, looking up at me with her chocolate brown eyes.
"I felt it… that day on the plane. But, I knew I couldn't do anything about it. Don't get me wrong, I loved Samantha, obviously. I wanted to marry her… but then you walked into my life and everything changed. You were and are so different from her. I can't really describe it. I just… I can just breathe, and be with you and with Samantha sometimes I felt like I was suffocating. I loved the feeling you gave me, it felt like I was, for the first time, a whole person… I'm beyond happy when I'm around you..."
I watched her smile, and then felt her lips on mine again. She was the most amazing kisser, plus I loved the look in her eyes when she was just staring at me without saying anything. We had this beautiful silence between us that was unlike anything I had ever experienced with Sam. She clasped her hand with mine, lacing her fingers with mine.
"Randy, I feel the same for you and I have since the first time I got lost in your eyes. I couldn't imagine what life would be like right now without you. When I'm around you or think about you all I can do is smile and savor every second I have with you. I don't know what I would have done with myself if you had married Samantha… it would have killed me to know you were totally off limits and nothing could happen between us. My heart broke over and over when I saw you with her. I wanted it to be me. I wanted to know what it felt like in your arms. You don't know how many times I wished I was her. I couldn't stand it…"
I could tell she was getting flustered and upset, which was the last thing I wanted to happen. She looked gorgeous right where she was at and she need not to worry about Samantha anymore. She was far away, out of my life forever. I brought my hand to her chin and pulled her into another kiss.
"Hunnie, breathe. Its okay, all that's over now, you don't have to worry about her anymore. All there is is you and me." She smiled up at me, tilting her head into the arm that held the rest of my body above her. I could feel her hot breath on my skin.
"I know, it's just…" she sat up again and looked at me with a serious expression on her face. "Randy… what does this mean for us? I mean… where are we going from here?" I gently kissed her shoulder, then her lips. I pulled her into a hug as her cheek rested against my peck.
"This means that I love you… I have since day one. And, if it's okay with you, I'd like to see where we go… as more than friends." She studied my eyes for a moment then leaned into me for yet another kiss.
"That sounds like a plan to me…" she whispered, as I held her close to my chest.