COMPLICATED

Morning sun finds them in a messed bed. Blankets are on the floor and sheets are covered in sweat from their night of lovemaking. They don't have sex, they make love. That's what she likes to think but she doesn't really know anymore. Her head rests on his chest, listening carefully to his breath, waiting for him to wake up. She doesn't like to have time to think. Time makes her feel guilty.

This thing between them has been going on for a few months now. They both now it's wrong but, when passion shows, they don't do anything to stop it. They steal moments from work to be together. They hide and kiss senseless and then they show each other their love. But he doesn't want a relationship with her as he already has one with Dr. Driscoll. She's been dreaming about being with him for more than half a decade now, but things are always too complicated.

He is awake now. She knows it because he plays with her hair and kisses her forehead sweetly. She knows it's time to talk.

"I love waking up next to you" he whispers into her hair

"It could always be like this"

He takes a deep breath. It's not the first time she has suggested a relationship but she doesn't understand it's too difficult, too painful. He loves her, more than he will ever let her know, but he's scared. He's only loved like this once before and he's been hurt badly. His wife left him without previous notice one September morning. He is grateful to feel love, to be in love one more time, but he doesn't want to loose someone he loves that much again.

"I'm with her now" he says

"Then why we make love?" she asks

"It just … feels right" he answers her. But that's not true. It feels more than right. It's amazing.

She tries to understand but she can't. Tears start to flow slowly from her eyes and he tries to wipe them away with his thumbs. Her tears are like knives stabbing into his chest but he believes he's doing the right thing.

"We could be so good together" she murmurs while he takes her into his arms.

"It's complicated. It can't be"

"Why?"

"It's… It's painful" he finally says.

"Then I guess it's better we stop whatever this thing is between us"

She gets up and dresses knowing she's being observed and every inch of her body processed. When she's ready to go, she wants to tell him she loves him but, it doesn't seem right, so from the door she says:

"I'll see you in the lab"

And she's gone forever.