Hey booches, I know that I'm in the middle of another story but I thought I would write you a quick one shot cause im starting to get bored, so this should take up some time.
Note that in all of my stories the theme of training as Shinobi is still there but in a little more recent time (cell phones cars stuffs like that). Oh and I have a question for everybody, WHAT FUKING TIME PERIOD IS NARUTO ANYWAYS? I mean they train as Shinobi, but the have movie theaters, and they have wireless head sets, yet they ride horses??? WHAT THE FUCK TIME DOES IT TAKE PLACE???
On another note: NO OTHER AUTHOR IS ALOUD TO USE MY WORD BOOCH! THAT IS MY FUKIN WORD, AND IF I FIND OUT YOU USED IT ILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH…thank you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
Shikamaru lay on his bed in fear. He couldn't face tonight. He never wanted it to come. He rolled over and pulled his pillow over his head. Tonight was the night of Ino's Christmas party, and Shikamaru hadn't bought her a present yet.
I wasn't necessarily written in stone that he had to bring a present for the blonde girl. However being her best friend, not to mention his feelings for her, he should have been prepared. It's not like he couldn't find time or, was too lazy to go out and get one (big fucking surprise there huh), it was just that he didn't have any present ideas. He sat on his bed in hatred of himself, for he knew tonight Sai would show up with some extraordinary gift that would put Shikamaru's to hell (That is if Shikamaru showed up with a gift).
He needed to come up with a game plan. Something that would really wow Ino, something that would make that dickless basterd Sai look like a… well a dickless basterd. Maybe he could get tickets to her favorite band's concert? 'No, no that's way to. ordinary' Shikamaru thought to himself. 'Damnit!' he silently cursed himself. 'There's got to be something'.
Suddenly his phone started to jingle and vibrate. He grabbed the small object off of his nightstand, and quickly glanced at the small LCD. It read Ino calling, and had a picture of a little phone shaking. Shikamaru inhaled preparing himself. He quickly flipped the cell open.
"Hey girlie, what's up?" Shikamaru asked in his monotone voice as usual, however in his stomach he felt butterflies.
"Hey booch, I missed you" said Ino playfully. "Hey I know this is really sudden, but im going to have to cancel our lunch today" said Ino her voice giving off a hint of sadness.
"Oh no Ino, don't worry about it ok" said Shikamaru trying to sound perfectly fine with it. "Im sure you're hanging out with someone important, probably Sai right, is it Sai?" Shikamaru said starting to speak rapidly and sounding a little deranged.
"No silly" Ino giggled. "It's Sakura, me and her haven't had a girls day since she and Naruto got together" said Ino trying to justify her canceling of her and Shikamaru's lunch date. "You understand don't you" asked Ino in her cutest a most childish voice.
"Oh, yeah its cool Ino don't worry about it, after all were going to see each other at the party tonight" he said sounding perfectly fine.
"Alright, well if you're sure Shika Kun" she said sympathetically.
"Oh Ino before you go I meant to ask you, what do you want for Christmas?" Shikamaru asked grabbing a pad and pen off of his night stand.
Ino laughed. "Well I'm not going to tell you booch, then the gift wouldn't have sentiment" she laughed again. "See you tonight booch" she said in a cute way. "Click" signified that Ino had hung up.
Shikamaru closed his phone making it emit a small clapping noise. For a second he sat there. "MOTHER FUCKER WHAT CAN I DO" he screamed at no particular person. "There's got to be something she has told me today that will help me out" he racked his brain for hints of present ideas. That was when it hit him.
"THE COFFEE, THE COFFEE LUNCH WITH SAKURA!" he screamed sitting straight up. "That's your ticket in, and you call your self a genius!" he said to himself as he reached for his phone once more.
He flipped the small device open scrolling through his phone book, till he came to the name douche bag. He clicked select and put the phone to his ear, it began to ring.
"Hello…" a husky voice sounded from the other end of the phone, sounding a little tired and groggy.
"Naruto it's me Shikamaru, I got a real favor to ask you, well actually of you and your girl" he said very quickly.
"Well good morning to you too Shika" said Naruto sarcastically, he sounded slightly more aware. "What's up what do you need?" he asked curiously.
"Well first of all I have a real problem that only Sakura can help with" said Shikamaru urgently.
"Hey babe…" Shikamaru heard in the background. "Phone for you" he heard the phone rustle. "Hello" a feminine voice said.
"Hi Sakura I got to ask for a huge favor to ask of you" Shikamaru said in a hurry. "I need you to let me come to get coffee with you and Ino, is that ok?" he asked sounding so desperate.
"Well… why?" she asked sounding very sketchy and unsure.
"It's so I can get an awenser out of Ino without her knowing, I just want to know what to get her for Christmas" he said. There was a silence.
"Fine, but how are you going to come, who will you transform into?" Sakura questioned. "It would have to be someone Ino won't see for a while and that's going to be difficult since all of Konoha is coming to her party tonight" Sakura said sounding superior to the genius.
"I already thought of that" said Shikamaru with some pep. "Today and only today, your cousin Shizuka is coming to visit" said Shikamaru puffing out his chest though no one could see.
"What?" asked Sakura in confusion.
"Don't worry about it, this is where Naruto comes in" said Shikamaru looking around the room for his discarded clothes. "Put him on" he said in triumph of finding his pants.
One Hour Later
It had taken Shikamaru a whole five minutes of 'extensive training' for him to learn the sexy no jutsu. And he was quite proud of the results that were produced from Naruto and Sakura. Naruto had helped give Shikamaru perfect perky breasts and a firm stomach, long shapely legs; he had turned him into the portrait of a beautiful woman. Sakura had helped Shikamaru get dressed and do his hair it was in just one long ponytail but Shikamaru had disliked that so he just pulled it down into one tangled mess of hair similar to when he wore his regular hair with out a tie. Odd enough Sakura had a green pair of Capri's and a black tank top (this was strange because of the enormous amount of pink that Sakura owned). He steeped back and admired his reflection in the coffee shop window. He would totally date himself.
"Wow Shikamar… I mean Shizuka you look great" said Sakura chuckling. "Me and Naruto did a pretty good job huh" she asked him.
"Yea I owe you guys one" said Shikamaru completely out of it, for he was busy poking one of his gigantic breasts.
"Oh my god…" said Sakura in disbelief. "You need to stop hanging out with Naruto; he's rubbing off on you to much" she said as she slapped his hand away. "Now do you want to play with your boobs, or win Ino's heart?"
"Who ever said I was trying to get Ino's heart" he said stuttering. "I was just trying to get her a Christmas present"
"Yes you're trying to get her a Christmas present that will outdo Sia's, so that you can get in her bed" she said crossing her arms in anger.
"Well that… that's completely… shut up" Shikamaru said in anger of not being able to come up with anything.
"Its completely true and you know it" Sakura said laughing. "Why else would you cancel your move to the village hidden in the sand?" Shikamaru gasped (kind of). "Oh yeah you didn't think I knew about that did you?" she said smugly. "Why would you have stopped that move huh? Why Shikamaru, why would you do that?" She said sneering.
"I like being in leaf" he said taken back by all that she knew.
"Yea bullshit, more like you like being in a leaf Kunoichi" she said cracking up.
"What the fuck has Naruto done to you?" Shikamaru said in anger. "I remember when you were a cute naive girl". He turned towards the coffee shop "Let's get this over with". He exhaled to the point where Sakura feared he would run out of breath.
By the time Ino had arrived the two had already ordered tea and sandwiches. He felt like such a woman sitting there eating little tiny ass sandwiches, and drinking tea from tiny ass cups. Seriously if size mattered so much to women why did they have to have tiny ass things?
"Hey Sakura, sorry im late" said Ino brushing her hair behind her ear and taking a seat. "Oh im sorry who's your friend?" she said seeming to have just noticed Shizuka.
"Oh Ino this is my cousin Shik…zuka" Sakura coughed catching her mistake. "Ehhh excuse my nasty cough, this is my cousin Shizuka, she coming to visit for the week"
"Oh well uh Welcome Shizuka, I don't know if Sakura has told you but I am having a really pimp shits party tonight and your welcome to come" Ino said taking her first sip of tea.
"Oh well uh im only going to be here till this afternoon" she said taking a nervous sip of her tea.
"Wait a minute" Ino said putting her cup down in confusion. "Didn't Sakura just say that you're going to be here for a week?"
"Oh well uh she's a…. chronic liar" she chuckled along with Ino but Shizuka's chuckling came to a quick halt as Sakura brought her heel down on her foot… hard. "MOTHER FUCKER!" she screamed grasping towards her foot but trying not to look suspicious rested them on her stomach.
"Ohhh" Ino said reaching in her purse. "Ehhh Im on my period to and the cramps are killing me" she said seeming satisfied with finding a small pack of pink pills. "Here Shizuka, its Midol". Ino handed her the package.
"What's this for?" He said popping one of the pills out. Sakura nudged him with her elbow smiling nervously.
"Silly…" she laughed in a creepy obviously fake way. "It for your cramps, for when you're bleeding" she said handing him his tea. Shizuka eyed the pink pill nervously then carefully popped it in her mouth followed by a swig of tea.
"Ehhh that's nasty" she stuck out her toung in disgust. "I just hate it when im on my period oh isn't that a bitch" she said acting unknowingly drawing attention from the female crowd in the restaurant (not to mention insulting them). "Ohhh and child birth that sucks too" she said taking a very unfeminine like seating position, giving the male diners a nice view of what Shizuka was wearing underneath her skirt ( or rather, what she wasn't wearing. After all Sakura said letting Shikamaru borrow her panties was just too weird). Ino and Sakura stared at Shikamaru/Shizuka in awe. Shizuka sensing the awkward silence decided to get straight to the point. "So girls, any cute boys around here" Shizuka asked in curiosity, resting her head in the palm of her left hand. Sakura finally finding a suitable conversation decided to help it grow.
"Well as you know thing with me and Naruto are going pretty gre…" she started.
"Yeah, yeah that's real interesting Sakura, Ino how about you any special boys?" she said completely cutting off, and offending Sakura. Ino was a little uneasy but decided to comply.
"Um… well… there is this very artistic, nice, cute boy named Sai" she said seeming to carefully plan her words.
"Ohhh" said Shikamaru in disgust.
"Well I guess there is another boy" said Ino glancing up and sitting back in her chair.
"Is it this Sauske Uchiha boy I've heard so much about from Sakura?" said Shizuka rolling her eyes.
"Well I like him too…" said Ino. "But right now im more interested in seeing how things go with Nara Shikamaru" Shizuka all of the sudden seemed to have really gotten into the conversation.
"REALLY" said Shizuka louder then intended. "And…uh what… what do you like about this guy" Shizuka scooted a little closer to Ino.
"Well he's sweet and caring, and such a cute way, oblivious of my feelings" said Ino getting a dreamy look in her eyes. "He's just a guy I could see my self with" Ino said with a sigh that seemed to bring her back down to earth. Ino looked across the table to find Shizuka staring with a deranged look in her eyes. "Um Shizuka… everything alright?" asked Ino a little scared.
Shizuka seemed to snap out of her day dream. "Oh yeah…im fine, it's just I have something on my mind" said Shizuka trying to turn the conversation to what she wanted.
"Oh so what's the matter Shizuka?" said Sakura seeming to finally calm down. "It can't be worse then your period" Sakura crossed her arms in disgust of his distasteful acts from earlier.
"It's just I don't know what to get my best girlfriend for Christmas, any ideas?" said Shizuka once again paying close attention.
"Well I don't know what he got me but im hoping Naruto gets me…" Sakura started.
"Yeah ok that's really interesting Sakura, Ino what about you?" Shizuka said quickly once again cutting off Sakura (not to mention pissing her off).
"Umm well I know Sai although I told him many times not to get it, is going to surprise me with a big screen T.V I wanted" said Ino with a sigh.
'A T.V, A FUCKING T.V, HOW THE FUCK AM GOING TO COMPARE TO THAT WHEN I SHOW UP WITH NOTHING!?' screamed Shikamaru inside of his head.
"However as Sakura has probably told you what I really want is what every teenage girl wants…" said Ino looking depressed. "But I know that neither Sai nor Sauske are going give it to me". Shizuka seemed to be hanging on the moment.
"And what…uh…what would that be" Said Shizuka in a crazy tone.
"Well it's what all girls' want…"
Shikamaru paced the ground outside of Ino's house, the party had been going on for an hour now and he had been outside for thirty minutes of it. Shikamaru had Ino's present but he wasn't sure he was man enough to give it to her. Sai had been inside the whole hour now parading around the fact that he had got Ino a big screen T.V. Shikamaru didn't even know if he could go back in and face that gloating basterd (not to mention Ino).
'You have got to do this Shikamaru' he mentally prepared himself. He reached a shaky hand to the door knob. He slowly carefully grasped it and turned it so that he could enter. Immediately Shikamaru was pounded by the sensation we know as romp music. He absolutely hated parties, especially parties like this, but for Ino he would take this major bullshit. He strained his eyes to see over the flashing strobes and the jackass people dancing. It wasn't long before Sai caught up to him.
"Hey Shikamaru great party huh…" said Sai. He was wearing his usual attire but with a nicer flare to it. There was something about his cloths that made him seem… like…like more of a sleazy asshole.
"Yea Sai, hey have you seen Ino" said Shikamaru not really paying attention as he kept trying to look for Ino.
"Well I don't know for sure" he said standing in front of Shikamaru making sure he could notice him. "But if she was any where im sure she would be over there admiring the T.V I got her".
'And it begins' Shikamaru said to himself pissed.
"Its right over there" said Sai pointing at a gigantic black box almost as tall as Shikamaru's bed. "It cost me a lot of money almost as much money as your apartment I bet, but you know my parents are rich and my jobs going pretty good so I can afford that". Shikamaru was about to explode. "So what did you get for Ino?" Shikamaru had, had enough. "BAM" Sai lay there on the ground from the major hit he had taken after his face had connected with Shikamaru's fist.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU POMPUS BASTERD, I REALLY DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!" screamed Shikamaru gaining the attention of many of the people in the room. Shikamaru felt no remorse though and walked away from the fallen Sai.
He finally found Ino in the kitchen by herself working on putting out some chips and some booze.
"Hey Ino, how are you booch?" said Shikamaru noticeably nervous.
"Oh hey Shika Kun, not much just putting out some booze for the rompers" she picked the bottle of kettle one, heading back towards the party. She stopped deciding to make conversation with the Shadow user.
"So uhh, that's a real nice T.V Sai got you" said Shikamaru starting to doubt himself.
"Oh well yeah but it's not really what I wanted for Christmas" said Ino a little disappointed. "I guess you can't have everything" she said with a sigh. She turned in the direction oh the door, heading back towards the party.
'Now or never Shikamaru it's time to show you actually have balls' he said to himself. 'Take a chance'.
"Hey Ino…" Shikamaru started. The blonde Kunoichi pivoted towards him. To her surprise Shikamaru crushed his lips to hers, and to his surprise Ino didn't resist, however she was a little shocked and kept her eyes open for the first couple seconds. But soon she closed her eyes and dropped the forgotten bottle to the floor letting it smash into a million pieces, but both could care less at the moment. Ino felt Shikamaru's toung brush against her lower lip, Ino decided to open her mouth allowing him entry and deepening the kiss. Shikamaru's hand's massaged Ino's back and they began to creep lower and lower until they were flesh on her tight rear. The two moved farther in the room until Shikamaru had crushed Ino into the kitchen wall. She protectively wrapped her arms around his neck and he hoisted her up by her firm bottom, allowing her to wrap her legs around his hips. The two were truly in heaven.
Finally Shikamaru parted for air and pulled there bodies away from the wall. Ino allowed her feet to rest on the ground but kept her arms protectively draped around Shikamaru's neck. The two breathed heavily gasping for air.
"Marry Christmas Ino, your first kiss" said Shikamaru touching his nose to hers with a goofy smile. Ino stared at him for a moment.
"Is that all you got me for Christmas?" asked Ino.
"Well yeah I thought you would enjoy it" said Shikamaru fearing what was coming next.
"Well then" she said with a sigh. "I guess I'm going to have to take you up to my room and get all that I can out of you now" said Ino with a devilish grin.
Well I decided to end it there but im guessing some of my hentai freaks would like to see what happens up in Ino's room so tell me if you want me to continue you with another chapter if not FUCK YOU… thank you and have a nice day.