Come to think of it, who owns e-bay anyway?

Five Stories

"Think where man's glory most begins and ends,
And say my glory was I had such friends."

-William Butler Yeats: The Municipal Gallery Re-Visited

'Aye, sea turtles…'

Beast Boy enjoyed an empty common room as he toyed on the computer, the other Titans preoccupied with their own things. There hadn't been a new video game release worth buying, and the games he already had weren't as fun without another player. And well…Beast Boy wasn't technically allowed to use the Tower's top-of-the-line computers to surf the web, so the changeling waited for just the right time to make his move. Star was out shopping, Cy took the T-car for a drive, Robin was in his workroom tinkering with his equipment, and Raven…

"What are you doing?" a dreary voiced inquired behind him. Yelping like a frightened kitten, Beast Boy swiveled his chair to face-

Oh right...Raven.

Just play it cool, man. "Nothing…" he said innocently, making sure his head blocked Raven's view of the screen. "Just surfing, that's all."

Without her hood, BB caught the dubious expression on the dark girl's face. "Beast Boy," she said slowly, "didn't Robin ban you from using internet?"

"Geez, sell some of Robin's spare bird-a-rangs on e-bay and suddenly I'm in the Brotherhood of Evil. He already punished me for that!"

"You were supposed to fix the obstacle course; not invite two hundred sea turtles to crawl on our island during mating season."

The green boy blinked. "Sooooo…?"

Making a large effort not to blow something up in her frustration, Raven took in a deep breath and huffed, "So, after two straight nights of being kept awake by turtle mating calls until Aqualad convinced them to leave, Robin banned you from using the internet ever again."


Growling to herself, the sorceress pulled up her hood and floated away. "Whatever. Now I just want my tea…"

Beast Boy punched his fist silently in the air. Playing dumb: works every time.

---------------------------------In lieu of recent events…--------------------------------

Locking his workshop door with heavy bolts, Cyborg feverishly opened the package he had managed to sneak past Beast Boy and Robin. Practicing the utmost care, he lifted the box slowly open to reveal the greatest gem of beauty ever to be wrapped in silicon, circuits, and plastic. Both human and mechanical eyes lit with rapture, "it's so beautiful…."

Held reverently in Cyborg's caring steel hands… A brand new, next-generation Gamestation 3 "And it's all MINE!"

Cyborg never did understand why all those evil genius' the Titans found themselves fighting always insisted on laughing maniacally.

Until now.

----------------Results may vary---------------

FAVORITE COLOURS? Green and Purple

PEOPLE SKILLS? Popular; the center of attention

YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING: Refreshed and energized!




Beast Boy re-checked his responses as he chuckled to himself. "Man, I love these things."

"What things?" Hair shooting to their ends, Beast Boy nearly fell off the swivel chair when Robin materialized from nowhere and leaned over the changeling's shoulder to read the computer screen.

The Boy Wonder's eyebrows arched. "'Which Titan are you?' You visit our fan sites? Scratch that: you take quizzes to find out which Titan you are?"

Pointed ears drooping, Beast Boy blushed as he scratched the back of his head timidly. "I was just….uh….checking the accuracy of Titan personality tests online?"

Shaking his head, Robin crossed his arms. "Man, I really have to step up our training schedule if you have this much free time." He paused when a thought occurred to him. "And didn't I specifically tell you you're not allowed to go online after that thing with the sea turtles?"

"You've got a problem with sea turtles?"

"I do when I can hear them mating."


The two Titan's attention turned to the screen.



"Hey you guys! Check this out!"

"HAHAHAHA! Nice one grass stain!"

"I find this very puzzling…"

"Disturbing. Very disturbing…"

---------------------------------'Tis the season--------------------------

"The details are blurry. How did you convince me to do this?"

"'Cause it's better than being stuck in the tower with Robin and Star while their watching a scary movie together?" Beast Boy suggested.

Raven's already permanent scowl soured. "Oh right. That."

"So Raven, what's our job again?"

Groaning to herself, Raven reluctantly recited the night's itinerary. "As you're trick or treating in your 'costume', I'm supposed to ring the doorbells of the poor, hapless fools dumb enough to give you sugar in large quantities."

Giving her a wide grin, BB shot Raven a thumbs up. "No worries then. Alright, let's score us some free candy!"

"Oh be still my foolish heart."

The wonderful thing about Halloween is, whenever someone opens their door to find a green dinosaur with a bag of candy hanging from its mouth flanked by a dark, gloomy girl hooded and cloaked, they're not as alarmed as they would be if the same thing happened say….November 1st.

"Whoa!" the resident of house 206 admired. "That's an awesome Velociraptor costume!"

"Actually, he's a Deinonychus," Raven corrected. "Common mistake, really."

"Well whatever he is, it's an amazing costume!" digging into his candy bowl, he dumped a large handful in Beast Boy's already bulging sack. "Here you go, you deserve it!"

Deinonychus Beast Boy grunted through his teeth.

"He says 'thank you'," Raven translated.

"You know," the dark girl admitted to the defiance of extinction alongside her on the sidewalk, "this Halloween thing isn't so bad. It's the only day here where I can be myself and people don't think I'm creepy."

In fact, Beast Boy got most of the looks from many parents and children passing by. Crossing paths with a seven-year-old looking girl dressed as a faerie of some kind, the child froze where she was and stared.

The hooded sorceress and the snorting dinosaur stared back.

A full ten seconds of silence later, the girl screamed in high pitched terror and ran from the pair as fast as those short, seven-year-old legs could send her. "Mooommmy! Heeeeeeellllppppp! Don't let the scary witch-lady get meeeeeee!"

Raven shot Beast Boy a dark look. She didn't know if dinosaurs could grin, but it sure seemed like this one was.

"Not one word…." She warned.

--------------------------------------------She saw it on Fox-----------------------------------------

Why Starfire should not watch television:

"Friend Beast Boy, I am much concerned….is it possible for you to catch the 'bird-flu'?"

It took several days and some serious goading of new video games for the Titans to get their green little changeling out of his room.

"Star," Robin said to her. "We warned you to be careful after the 'Mad Cow' incident, remember?"

"Bad news grass stain, some fungus is killing off frogs in the rain forest."


"Noooo! Not the frogs too!"

Between college, family squabbles, and a horrible case of writers block, I've neglected all the readers waiting for my next chapter of Destiny's Threads for over two months. While I am settling back into writing, these random tidbits should give you a few chuckles, at least. Five Stories will be updated whenever I get some silly, created whim (or consume lots of coke….the cola, people); I've got plenty of ideas for more short stories.

The idea for these short stories was inspired by my sister's fic: Whitewater. Just look up Guardiansaiyoko. She's excellent.

In the meantime…reviews please?