if you're gonna totally trash my story without reason get out of here. but i do except constructive criticism. i need ideas for inprovement anyways because i'm using it for an assignment for english.
The blond girl stared at the door to her new home in apprehension. The only reason why she was here was because her mom was declared unfit to raise her and her sister and their dad was in jail. All of it had happened not very long ago. Her emotional wounds were still very fresh and she was in need of some sympathy, even if she didn't admit it.

She knocked on the door. She heard a thud and then, "Coming!" from inside the house. Then, the door opened to reveal her cousin, Allyson.

"Oh, hi. Mom and dad said that you'd show up sometime this week. They're not here right now." Ally said.


"You'll be in the room next to mine."

"That's...great." The girl forced a smile. She found her cousin annoying at best.

"You can decorate it however you want. Mom and dad know that you're an artist. They'll buy you whatever you need. And if all your clothes are like that, you might want to get a new wardrobe." Ally stared at her cousins' clothing as if she'd rather run around naked than wear what her cousin was wearing.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" The girl almost death-glared at her cousin.

"N-nothing, but why would you want to wear all black all the time?"

"Ally, I don't wear all black. My bras and underwear are colorful."

"Marie, no one sees those."


"Why don't you wear colors that show off your personality?"

"Do you know of any colors that scream wild, evil, and crazy?" Marie grinned evilly, her blue eyes shining.

"Are you saying that I can give you a wardrobe makeover?" Marie nodded. "Yay!" As Ally hugged Marie, a portal opened and they were both sucked in

ok please review. i like reviews