Hole In My Heart

Hiya! StandAlone here with another Yu-gi-oh! fic. Before we get started, here's what ya need to know:

This will be a shonen-ai fic revolving around Atemu (Yami) and Yuugi, so if you don't like the pairing or are offended by this, ya might as well back out now. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's also a bit of a mother/son fic (not in any bad way of course). There is a slight bit of a one sided Anzu/Atemu pairing but not much.

The storyline is a parody of xxxHolic volume 6 but you won't have to have read it in order to understand it. Although it is a great series by one of my favorite manga authors, CLAMP, so if you're looking for something good to read, I do recommend that you check it out.

I'm keeping the chapters short so I can update more often since I have a bad habit of not finishing stories with longer chapters. However, more reviews mean quicker updates….. so leave plenty of incentive for me okay:P Constructive criticism welcome, but please… no flames. Just stop reading if you really hate it. Not hard to do.

I think that's it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Yu-gi-oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi and the basic storyline from xxxHolic belongs to CLAMP. This fic is for entertainment purposes only; no money is being made from this.

"If he wants to keep from crying, he'll just have to get stronger. Strong enough so that he won't be the one crying in the end." - Kurogane, Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE, VolumeTwo

Letting Go

Yuugi Mutou sighed gratefully as the final bell signaled the end of the school day and began packing up his things. A smile touched his lips at the thought of meeting up with his friends for some arcade games. A couple of rounds of Halo 2 and some racing games were just what he needed to clear his mind and unwind.

It was their senior year of high school and the teachers were hitting the students with everything they had, and it didn't help matters that Yuugi was in the advanced college prep math class. He had a knack for solving puzzles of all kinds, and since number formulas were little more than that, he was pretty good at it. His grandfather was pushing him especially hard as well, so the stress was becoming a little overwhelming. But that was all nothing a pile of virtual zombie corpses and exploding cars couldn't solve.

Yuugi shook his head with another sigh as he stuffed a few of his textbooks into his locker. If only blowing things up on a computer screen could solve all of life's problems.

"Hiya, Yug!"

He turned in the direction of the voice and grinned at the sight of his best friend jogging up to him. "Hey, Jounouchi!" he replied cheerfully. "How was your day?"

"Meh. Can't complain I guess. Good to go?" He slung his briefcase over his shoulder and indicated the exit with his thumb.

Yuugi nodded and secured his backpack over his own shoulders before falling in step next to the taller blond.

"Anzu and Honda are probably waiting for us already," Jou mumbled in an attempt to make small talk.

"Yeah." Yuugi paused and waited for what he already knew was coming. 'Any second now….'

"Um…. so….. is Atemu coming too?"

Bingo. Yuugi suppressed another sigh at this and immediately hated himself for having to do so. It was only natural that Jounouchi would ask. After all, they almost always did things as a group, and this included Atemu. But sometimes he couldn't help but wonder if his friends felt anything at all for him. He wondered if his darker half was the only reason they hung out with him. He couldn't blame them for it really though. The former pharaoh was and always would be everything he couldn't, and he was alright with that. And he certainly didn't blame Atemu for anything; he loved him far too much for that. It was just that lately it seemed like it wouldn't really matter if he was there at all.

The only exception to it all was Ryou. The two hikari's found themselves growing much closer after the events of the Memory RPG, as only they could understand the trials that come with playing host to an ancient spirit. However, he was currently on a much needed vacation with his somewhat estranged family. He called every couple of days and had sent a postcard from Washington D.C. but he wasn't due back for another few weeks.

Yuugi forcefully shook these self doubts out of his mind and pasted on an innocent smile. "I'm not really sure. I told him we were planning on going to the arcade after school today, but he didn't say anything about it."

Jou grunted absentmindedly in response but didn't make much of an effort to conceal his slight disappointment. Neither said a word more as they left the building and looked around for their other friends.

By the gate across from schoolyard, Anzu spotted the pair and quickly waved them over. "Yuugi! Jounouchi!" she called. Both waved back and hurried over.

Honda nodded and smiled to both of them. "Hey, guys!"

"How was math today, Yuugi?" Anzu asked. She hated the subject with a passion and couldn't understand why her friend would voluntarily take the hardest class the school had to offer. He once tried to explain a series of what he called "basic" formulas to her once, and she wound up with a terrible migraine.

He shrugged casually. "Not too bad. Kanade-sensei assigned us partners for a mid term project already. I got paired with Kaiba."

Jou shook his head sympathetically. "Aww….. that must suck." Over all their random adventures together, Jounouchi had at least come to respect Seto, but he still didn't like him very much. To him, being paired with the teenage CEO was about the worse thing that could happen.

Yuugi smiled. "I don't think it'll be that bad. He is the smartest guy in school. So as long as he doesn't keep challenging me to duel, we're pretty much guaranteed a good grade. Uh….. is something wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" His smiled faded and he cocked his head to the side slightly in his cute little way. Out of nowhere, Anzu had started blushing and bit her lip while Jounouchi and Honda were trying to hide smirks behind their hands.

"Uh….. guys, what's so….. AHHH!!" Yuugi jumped and screamed mid sentence when a pair of strong arms enveloped him from behind, taking him completely by surprise. Then those same hands began wandering over all his ticklish spots, causing him to burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. He squirmed and writhed around, trying in vain to pry himself free from his captor, even knowing he wasn't strong enough to do so.

Atemu kept a tight grip around his beloved aibou's waist and cackled evilly as he continued to torment Yuugi from behind. While the younger had been talking to their friends, he had snuck up on him, putting a finger to his lips to keep the others quiet before grabbing him. He just loved teasing him so.

"Alright! Alright! Mou hitori... please stop! I can't….. I can't breathe!" It didn't take much for Yuugi to figure out who it was.

The former pharaoh reluctantly obeyed. As much as he liked hearing his little one laugh, he didn't want to hurt him. He chuckled with the others as Yuugi panted to catch his breath, glaring at his other in the process.

"Very….. very funny, Atemu," he wheezed breathlessly.

He crossed his arms and smirked. "I thought so." His grin widened as Yuugi tried to scowl, but on him it was just an adorable pout with a slight blush to match.

"Glad you could join us, Atemu," Jounouchi said, still snickering slightly.

A deep red spread across Anzu's face as she stepped forward towards the yami. "Um, so does that mean you're coming to the arcade with us?"

Atemu smiled at her, but unconsciously took a step away from her and closer to Yuugi. "Of course."

She clapped her hands excitedly. "That's great! Well then, what are we waiting for?" With that, she headed in the direction of the arcade, the others trailing behind her.

The Pharaoh paused and glanced back when he noticed that Yuugi hadn't moved. "Aibou?"

He blinked for a second, as though snapping from a daze before grinning widely at his secret crush. "Oh! Sorry. I just remembered that I've got a MAJOR test to study for. I think I should probably head home."

"Awww. You sure about that Yug?" Jounouchi asked, having stopped with the others.

He nodded in response. "Yeah. Grandpa will kill me if I fail it. But you guys have fun, okay?" He turned in the opposite direction to leave.

"Wait for me, Hikari!" Atemu was about to rush after him, but stopped in surprise when Yuugi waved his hands and shook his head.

"No, no! You go ahead with them."

Yami did his best to conceal his disappointment. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Yuugi nodded almost a little too enthusiastically. "Yeah! I'll be fine. You go have fun. I'll see ya when you get home." He waved to them all as he turned again. "Bye guys!" Before the others could say a word, we rushed off to the game shop at a brisk pace, trying to stifle his tears in the process.

Truth was, he couldn't think of any place he'd rather be than with Atemu. He'd realized a long time ago that he had fallen hopelessly in love with his darker half, and he'd like nothing more than to be near him at all times. But the pharaoh had already wasted so much time on him, saving the world and putting up with all his weaknesses in the process. Now he'd finally been gifted with his own body, his own life. What right did Yuugi have to take that away from him? How could he hold him back, deny him the chance to lead his own life, free from him? He knew Anzu had feelings for his yami as well, and he couldn't in good conscience stand in the way if they were reciprocated. So as much as it hurt him to do so, he was doing his best to slowly let go.

Atemu reluctantly followed after Anzu, Honda, and Jounouchi, but kept glancing back to watch his aibou's fading form. He had noticed recently that Yuugi seemed to be almost avoiding him, excusing himself to be alone, and it was beginning to worry him. He had yet to confront his precious hikari about it, because in all honestly, it wasn't happening enough for the others to notice. He thought maybe his own desire to be with his secret koi was affecting his judgment. Still, he couldn't help but worry and wonder. 'Yuugi…..'

That's it for chapter one! Chapter two will be up by this weekend. I know that isn't much to go on yet, but please review if you can!