Disclaimer: Once more for those in the back...Not mine.
Author's Note: Just another trial run. Like I said, trying to get a feel for people here.
Shouldn't Care At All
He doesn't care anymore.
When someone breaks your heart, shatters your pride, you aren't supposed to wonder how and where they are. You aren't supposed to worry about them when they take stupid, life threatening risks.
He doesn't want to care anymore.
So he yells a her for risking her viper, grounds her and tells her he doesn't care if she dies, if she wants to die.
Because he thinks she does.
Because he does, and he's not supposed to.
He's not supposed to give a damn that she looks haunted and alone. Not supposed to care that she's isolated herself from those around her, driving them away with a blatant indifference bordering on the cruel.
He's not supposed to want to reach out as he might have done before, to fix whatever it is the Cylons broke.
She drinks too much and she's not sleeping. Things which he shouldn't know, isn't supposed to care enough to know.
He shouldn't be able to look past the hurt, the anger which has fueled their every interaction since he awoke to find her gone.
For a long time he didn't, wouldn't, and he'd fallen apart.
And the thing of it is, the thing he won't admit even to himself anywhere but in those odd hours between shifts when the ship is quiet and he imagines himself alone but for her shadowed, hollow presence, is that he'd expected someone to step up and pull him back. To yell at him and bully him.
To take her place.
But no one had.
No one could.
He doesn't watch her, that would be too blatant, to much of a declaration, but others do. Others do and he hears their whispers and has to stop himself from seeking her out, from running to her side.
He's not supposed to care.
He tells himself he doesn't care.
They pass in a corridor and neither acknowledges the other, each going their own way with a silent blistering disregard.
She doesn't care.
Yet it is an accusation which rings false as he lays beside his wife, wondering and worrying about the one who turned away from him.
She doesn't want his care, and she'll never see it.
She barely eats.
She never smiles.
And he doesn't know whay he cares so much, when he shouldn't care at all.