As Ron cha-cha'ed behind Mr. Crabbe, Voldemort glanced down at his hand and saw that the leprechaun gold had vanished. He stormed over to Ron and grabbed his shoulder. "You gave me fake gold, boy!" he said in a cowboyish accent.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Voldie,"

"You know very well what I'm talking about!" he exclaimed. "And stop calling me Voldie!"

"Well, sorrry," drawled Ron. "Voldie," he added under his breath.

Harry and Hermione suddenly apparated into the graveyard. Hermione landed quite gracefully in the middle of the dance floor, but Harry accidentally landed piggyback on Lucius Malfoy. Out of instinct, he stuck his wand up Malfoy's nose.

"OW!!!! Get OFF me, Potter!" he screamed. His nose started to swell like a huge, red, water balloon. Harry started frantically wacking at it with a stick. When the stick didn't work, he grabbed Hermione's wand and started shouting random spells while he resumed his wacking.

"ALOHOMORA! WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA! ACCIO!" he yelled in a crazed voice. "FLIPPENDO!"

"Hey, that spell isn't canon!" exclaimed Hermione. "They only use Flippendo in the video game!"

"I can say Flippendo if I want to!" Harry retorted. "It is my video game!"

"Hey, I was in it too!" reminded Voldemort. "After all, you wouldn't have your own video game if it wasn't for me!"

"Yeah, you killing my parents is a small price to pay for my own video game!"

"But think of all the good times we had…" Voldemort said thoughtfully.

"Well, let's think," Harry replied sarcastically. "How about that time when I was about 11, I think I recall something along the lines of, oh I don't know, fighting to the death over a shiny rock!"

"Hey, it wasn't just a shiny rock," Voldemort pouted. "It was that nice red color-"

"Will you two SHUT UP!"

"I know how to decide this!" Voldemort exclaimed. He conjured up a laptop, Googled Ebay, and ordered a Playstation 2 from a 43 year-old guy who lives in his sister's basement.

Harry suddenly noticed that the word 'VOLDEMORT' was spelled out on the lid of his laptop in rhinestones.

"Uh, Voldie?" asked Harry. "What's with the rhinestones?"

Voldemort mumbed something about a bluelight special at Kmart on 'BLING IT ON!', and a cardboard box suddenly appeared on top of Malfoy's face. His nose was still the size of a grapefruit.

"Ah, now we can finally decide this conflict once and for all!" Voldemort announced.