Chapter One: In Which the Landlady Comes Up With a Brilliant Plan
It was a relatively normal day…well, as normal as you can get in the Nakahara Mansion. The sun was out and gleaming, which meant that the four guys and their gloomy housemate were all inside, doing something or other. Kyohei was hungry, as usual. So, he decided to complain and whine, until he got the food that he wanted.
"Sunako Nakahara! Make me something to eat! I'm hungry!" Kyohei yelled, as he burst through the door, and into the darkness that was her room.
Sunako frowned and tried to ignore the bright light that came from Kyohei (it didn't matter that she was just imagining it). "No! I just made you guys lunch! If you're hungry, go make something to eat yourself!" She didn't even lift her eyes from the gory slasher flick that she was watching.
Kyohei frowned. "But that was over an hour ago!" he practically whined, as he stomped over until he was behind her and nudged her with his foot a bit.
"Stop it! Can't you just leave me alone?! Leave me alone in my castle of darkness!" Sunako yelled, irritated, whacking his foot away with her hand.
"Then make me some more food to eat!" Kyohei snapped back, rolling his eyes as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.
"I already said no!" Sunako replied stubbornly, scooting closer to her T.V., and away from Kyohei's foot.
Kyohei's stubbornness (and possibly his hunger) kicked in. He growled loudly and picked Sunako up and threw her over his shoulder, giving her the most perfect view of his ass, even if it was upside down. Any other girl and she would have squealed in happiness. Seeing as how it was Sunako, however, she screamed angrily and sprouted some curse words that even a sailor would be much too embarrassed to hear.
Sunako pounded on his back as loud, annoying, and hard as she could, all the while screeching, "Put me down this instant, you stupid creature of the light! Hurry! Before I melt in your presence!"
Kyohei rolled his eyes. "Are you still going on about that stupid 'creature of the light' crap?"
"Just put me down! Please!" Sunako screamed loudly.
Kyohei smirked. "No! I'm hungry and I want some food, dammit!" He made his way towards the door and out of her room of darkness, with Sunako thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Sunako began to thrash her arms and legs madly and desperately, in a pathetic attempt to free herself from Kyohei. But it was useless; Kyohei's grip only grew tighter around the back of her knees.
After a bit, Sunako grew tired and gave up. She huffed angrily and crossed her arms. Kyohei smirked mischievously and smacked her on the butt, trying to hold in a fit of giggles as she squeaked angrily.
"You asshole!" she yelled, her face as red a tomato, and she started to kick her legs and beat him with her fists again. Kyohei just snickered mercilessly.
By this time, they had already walked through the living room and into the dinning room, which was right outside the kitchen. He pulled out a chair at the table, and set her down on it. She immediately jumped out of the chair and tried to get away and run back to her castle of darkness to watch her gory slasher film.
Kyohei, however, was prepared for any and all attempts at an escape. Quick as lightening, he grabbed the back of her collar. "Uh-uh! Not so fast!" Kyohei practically sing-songed. "Look, it's not that hard to make me something to eat. Besides, you said it yourself! You love to cook!"
"Not when I'm in the middle of watching one of my beautiful, gory movies!" Sunako said through gritted teeth.
"Fine! Just make me some rice and fish or something!" Kyohei said, still holding onto the back of her collar. "Or a sandwich, even!"
She let out an almost primal-like growl. "No! Never!" She elbowed him as hard as she could in the ribs.
"Ow!" Kyohei yelped, and let go her collar, fell down on one knee, and clutched his ribs. Sunako took this chance to run off. He glanced up, only to see that Sunako had already made her get-away. "Dammit!"
When she was out of the dinning room, she turned around and stuck out her tongue. "Nyah, nyah, nayah!"
Unfortunately, she wasn't paying attention to where she was going and collided into a solid body.
"Nyah, ny-oof!" Sunako promptly fell backwards as she ran into said solid body. She looked up into the eyes off the looming figure. "A-auntie?!" she squeaked, as her eyes widened and bugged out.
"Get back here, you stupid idiot, and make me some damn food!" Kyohei yelled, running, after her. "You stupid--la-landlady?!" Kyohei stuttered, immediately skidding to a stop, eyes bulging out of their sockets and with his mouth dropped open all the way to the floor.
Miss Nakahara looked livid. "Kyohei!" she screeched, "What is the meaning of this? And why did you call your beloved girlfriend 'stupid'?! Boyfriends must be loving, tender, and caring!" She grabbed the front of his shirt and brought his face closer to hers, in a threatening manner. "I don't see any of that right now!"
By this time, the rest of the guys had run over to see what all the commotion was about.
"What's going on, Kyo-" Takenaga started, before they laid eyes on Miss Nakahara.
"L-landlady?!" they all exclaimed loudly. They backed away in shock, and most likely out of fear, their expressions matching that of Kyohei's earlier.
Miss Nakahara frowned and rolled her eyes. "You know, I'm getting really sick and tired of this reaction. I mean, I sort of expected it out of you four boys, but…not out of my dearest Sunako-chan! Sunako-chan, didn't you miss your Auntie?" Tears welled up in her eyes at the single thought of her beloved niece not missing her, not even a tad bit.
"S-sorry, Auntie. Of course I missed you. I was just…uh surprised by your unexpected visit, that's all," Sunako mumbled quietly. She even looked up and tried to smile, but instead, she failed miserably, and she looked like she had just eaten something sour. The others sweat dropped at the sight of her 'smile'.
"S-sorry…" the boys stuttered, looking down at their feet in shame.
She turned to Sunako, smiled widely and said, "Oh, its okay, Sunako-chan. I missed you too." Then she turned to the boys and rolled her eyes. "Yea, whatever," she sighed. The boys and Sunako sweat dropped. She turned back to Sunako. "Oh, Sunako-chan! Get up off the floor! My, that posture is not lady like at all!"
"Uh…" Sunako blinked dumbly, and tried to stand up just a tad bit straighter.
Miss Nakahara turned back to Kyohei. "Kyohei! How come you aren't looking after her?! How come you aren't making sure that she turns into a magnificent lady?! Kyohei!" she paused, gasping, just a bit over dramatically, "Have you not been spending enough time with her?!"
Kyohei frowned, looking just a bit confused. Apparently, he had forgotten that Miss Nakahara assumed that he and Sunako were currently a young couple in love. "What are you talking about?" he yelled back, "How the hell is this my fault? I'm not even really her b-"
Takenaga and Yuki, who panicked, jumped at Kyohei, and covered up his mouth in an attempt to shut him up, or else he might blow their cover.
Ranmaru, as smooth as ever, quickly jumped in and said, "Miss Nakahara? Kyohei and Sunako-chan, they've been going through a bit of a rough patch. A lover's quarrel, if you will. Kyohei's jealousy was the cause. Sunako-chan, being the beautiful young lady that she is, has attracted many, many young men. Kyohei feels threatened by them."
Miss Nakahara raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really now?"
"Yes!" Yuki and Takenaga chimed, without skipping a beat, to back up Ranmaru's slightly far-fetched story.
"Oh, how cute!" she purred, eyes closing slowly. She even brought her laced fingers up to her cheek.
"Whew!" They sighed, relieved. They wiped their sweat off of their foreheads with the sleeves of their arms, except Kyohei.
"But," she snapped, her eyes opening wide and sending a wave of panic through the boys.
"Y-yea?" they stuttered pathetically, shrinking a bit under Miss Nakahara's looming figure.
"Kyohei! You are still not giving Sunako-chan the love, care, devotion, and tenderness that she, and every magnificent lady, needs! You are a bad, very bad, boyfriend. How much time do you spend with Sunako-chan?" she demanded, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at him.
"Uh…uh…" Kyohei stuttered pathetically and blinked dumbly.
"Not enough, obviously!" she huffed angrily. "Well, how many dates have you two gone on?"
"Two," Kyohei said. 'Well, at least I'm not lying about that…' he thought to himself.
Miss Nakahara let out a tiny, over dramatic gasp of disbelief. "Two?! Only two?! Oh, my poor Sunako-chan! You've been neglected, haven't you? You're not getting the love and attention that you need!" she cried for her niece.
"Nobody wants to give me the love and attention. Besides, I don't need it. I'm okay, really," Sunako said, blunt and straight to the point, as usual.
Despite the attempt at making her Auntie stop worrying over her, it didn't work. In fact, even more tears welled up in her Auntie's eyes.
"Oh, my poor, poor Sunako-chan!" she exclaimed dramatically, clinging to and hugging Sunako.
"Uh…" Sunako blinked, just a little bit confused.
Then, a fierce and determined look appeared on Miss Nakahara's face. "I've just come up with a brilliant plan! And it's foolproof! Sunako-chan will become a magnificent, beautiful, and graceful lady, full of love and happiness!" Sunako wore a look of dread and disbelief, but Miss Nakahara ignored her, or just didn't see, and plowed on with declarations of her plans. "Kyohei will know how to give Sunako-chan the proper love and care she deserves." Kyohei, upon hearing his name mentioned in this 'brilliant plan' of the landlady's, became nervous, fearful, and he started to sweat. "And you two will be more madly in love than ever before!" she finished, looking happy, but also madly insane. She giggled manically, sending a shudder and a wave of fear through them all, even Sunako.
"Oh, crap…" Kyohei muttered quietly, so that no one could hear him.
"Sunako and Kyohei! You two need to come here with me right now! We're going to put this plan in action!" Miss Nakahara said, giggling, similar to a giddy school girl going on her first date with the school's hunk.
They both shared a glance at each other, and seemed to be thinking, and agreeing to, the same thing: 'let's get out of here as soon and as fast as possible!' Giving each other a quick nod, they both turned around to run away from the mad woman.
"Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast, my little cuties!" she said, with an air of innocence. She caught the both of them rather quickly, considering how fast those two can run. The back of Sunako's collar in one perfectly manicured hand, and Kyohei's in the other.
She turned around to face Takenaga, Yuki, and Ranmaru. "I'll see you cuties later!" she sing-songed, walking down the long hallway, dragging a reluctant Kyohei and Sunako behind her. Both of them were kicking and screaming, crying even, trying desperately and madly to get away from the evil clutches of the insane woman humming happily down the hall.
"No! No! No!" could be heard all the way from down the hallway.
Ranmaru and Takenaga stood there, awkwardly sweat dropping. Yuki, on the other hand, stood there, tears rolling down his face, fearing for Kyohei and Sunako.
"I hope they'll be okay…" Yuki said.
Ranmaru smiled reassuringly. "Of course they'll be okay." He pulled out a rose and smoothly said, "I have complete faith in the landlady. I believe her plan will be a great success. Sunako will be a lady, Kyohei will know how to treat a girl correctly, and they'll finally fall in love with each other."
Yuki frowned a bit. "You really think so?"
"Oh," Ranmaru grinned devilishly, "I know so."
Takenaga sighed tiredly and rubbed his temples. "I guess we'll just see soon enough."
They both winced when they heard more screaming from the 'future couple'.