Author's Notes: So, if any of you have been paying attention, you'll have noticed that this is my first little welcoming before the chapter begins. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the lack of updates. This thing called 'life' kept getting in the way. But, right, I'll shut up, because excuses are lame.
Another thing is this: I am so, SO, overwhelmed (in a good way, people) by the amount of reviews this fic has been getting! I never once expected for it to get one hundred reviews. NEVER. I kinda started this fic out of a joke. I thought to myself 'Argh! Why is there a such a lack of good Wallflower fanfic? I wish there was one that went like this -insert silly situation here-', and so I did this for my amusement and to distract myself from the sad reality of no good fic. I sincerely appreciate every single review and wanted to thank you guys.
Also, sorry for this Crap!tastic chapter. But I came to the conclusion that I needed to put something together for you lovely people. But, er, warning, this is most definitely not my best...
Hot damn! That was long. Now I remember why I try not to do these.
Chapter Nine: A Severe Lack of Romance
"…and then she fainted," Kyohei sighed, recalling Wednesday's events to his friends. He looked at them from his position on the couch, where he lay sprawled, taking up all the room, causing his friends to sit elsewhere. His position was comically lazy; a leg draped over the back and an arm fell onto the floor.
Yuki sat cross-legged on the floor near the coffee table, eyes wide. "And then she left?" he whispered, as he took in the tale of the landlady's latest visit.
"And then the lady-devil left," he confirmed with a single nod of his head.
Takenaga, sitting on a chair from the dining area, let the story sink in for a moment longer before carefully expressing his thoughts. With a slight smile, he said, "Wow, that was fast thinking; pretending to kiss Sunako-chan like that."
A cocky grin. "Yeah, I know."
A small smirk. "Didn't think you had it in you," Takenaga replied smoothly.
Kyohei's cocky grin disappeared, but before he could retaliate, Ranmaru finally decided to cut in.
The red head leapt up dramatically from his seat. "A fake kiss?" he hissed, slowly growing mad. "What is wrong with you? You're stuck in this private room with this gorgeous girl…well, who's sometimes gorgeous—"
"And never a girl," Kyohei cut in.
"Shut up!" Ranmaru snapped. He released a long sigh, rubbing his temples delicately. He inhaled to calm himself down and said, "Look, Kyohei, you're very much male, and you're not gay. Because if you were, there would be some very awkward sexual tension between you and me, obviously."
A face full of pure disgust and horror appeared on the young man's face. "'Obviously?'" his voice was high-pitched. "What do you mean 'obviously'? I'd never be interested in you; not even if I was a straight chick."
Ranmaru frowned and looked at him in pity. "Now, Kyohei, don't be ridiculous; we both know that I'm irresistible, but that's beside the point at the moment."
Kyohei looked at him incredulously; the fact that all of this was said straight-faced and without an ounce of a joke astounded the blonde. "You're not right in the head, are you?"
Takenaga and Yuki snickered to themselves.
Ranmaru chose to ignore his friends. "The point is this: you're a young healthy male, and Sunako-chan's a young healthy female. You're both straight…well, sure, she's never been interested in me… but she's never shown interest in Noi, either…and… hmm…" he trailed off in thought awkwardly.
Kyohei sat upright and leaned over to smack Ranmaru over the head. "Of course she's straight, you moron! Remember that guy she liked? The one who called her ugly?"
"Oh, right! Of course!" he said, relieved.
He rolled his eyes. "I swear!" he muttered irritably. "And you guys call me the dumb one."
"That's because you are," the other three chorused dryly and rolled their eyes in unison. The dumb one pouted sadly.
Takenaga sighed. "What I think Ranmaru is trying to say is that the both of you have all the privacy in the world. Have you made a move on her?"
Kyohei snorted. "I want to keep all my body parts intact, thank you. So no, I haven't 'made a move' on her," his voice dropped an octave when he said 'made a move' in a humorous way.
"Well, get to it!" Ranmaru said. "I still cannot understand why you chose to fake kiss her! You kissed her fakely! A fake kiss! You-you—" he spluttered for a moment, before finishing, "You faker!"
Kyohei raised a delicate and perfect eyebrow. "'Faker?' Really? That's the best you could do?" he chuckled. "You're usually so good with your words."
"Be quiet, I'm upset at you," the redhead huffed, crossing his arms dramatically. "You, as the gentleman in this growing relationship, need to be loving, romantic, passionate, sensual, and you have to give her what she needs."
He looked at him and said, quite deadpan, "I don't think she even knows those feelings exist."
The other three paused, before nodding and agreeing simultaneously. "Yeah, probably."
Yuki sat up straighter. "You've got to at least try," he piped up.
Ranmaru snapped his fingers. "Maybe once you show her those feelings, she'll become more ladylike." He took a long look at Kyohei before crying dramatically and dropping his face into his hands. "It's useless! You'll never be able to teach her those things."
"Mostly because I can't express them myself," the insensitive one said dryly.
A deep sigh. "True. So true," the romantic murmured. He didn't see Kyohei roll his eyes.
"Maybe Noi-chan will give her an amazing pep talk? Or at least better at helping her than us?" Yuki suggested weakly.
"One can only hope," came Ranmaru's fluttering sigh, as he looked off into space dramatically.
"…and then my vision went black," Sunako murmured softly, trying to remember yesterday's events before her blackout, which were more than a little fuzzy. She recalled a blond and perfectly angelic face creeping closer toward her own, an insane closeness and major discomfort, pressure over her dry, crackly lips, but that was it.
Noi's entire body was hunched over in anticipation during Sunako's story. "What do you mean?" She asked, her eyes wide. "Did he kiss you? You don't remember? Well, remember, darnit!"
Sunako sighed. "I sort of remember something over my lips…but it didn't feel like lips. If that makes sense at all." She felt sick to her stomach. "Oh, god. Please let it have been my imagination. I honestly hope I hadn't kissed that awful creature of light."
"Argh!" Noi whipped out her cell phone and dialed quickly. "Takenaga-kun? Did Sunako-chan and Kyohei kiss?" she asked, excited.
Sunako looked on in horror, not sure if she was ready to hear the answer. She also felt sick to her stomach as her one hand clutched her tummy and the other flew to her mouth.
Noi's face fell into utter despair. "Oh."
Sunako's entire face brightened and she did a fist pump. "Yes!"
"You guys didn't kiss," Noi pouted.
"It was a fake kiss. He put his thumbs over your lips and leaned in all the way; you two were nose to nose."
The sound of a body hit the floor.
"So, do you two want to hear the latest date plan?" Takenaga asked casually, since it was a Friday morning meaning: another date night. "She sent the video late last night. We would have visted earlier yesterday, but we were all busy."
The two not-lovebirds grimaced and glanced at each other briefly. Finally, the blonde one reluctantly sighed. "Just say it."
"She wants you two to have a casual dinner and then dessert at some quaint, little bakery shop at her friend's place," Takenaga said.
"Casual dinner?" Kyohei asked, eyebrow raised curiously.
"I like dessert," Sunako commented. "Will this place have a lot of chocolate type things?"
Noi smiled at her friend affectionately. "I'm sure they will, Sunako-chan."
"Yay," Sunako quietly cheered to herself.
The blonde boy stared at her quizzically.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothin'," he sniffed indifferently. He turned back to Takenaga. "When's dinner?"
"You'll be leaving around 6:30. I think the actual dinner will begin at seven," Takenaga said with an elegant shrug. "Reservations and whatnot."
Kyohei frowned and stared at the clock hanging on the wall. "It's almost five. Do we have to get ready soon?"
"Sunako-chan, when was the last time you showered?" Noi asked nonchalantly.
"Three days ago. Why?" she asked suspiciously.
Noi sighed and grabbed Sunako's arm and led her away gently. "Let's get you freshened up, honey," she said in a motherly voice.
"Do I have to use the same soap from last week? I smelled like flowers for two days. And that stuff tickles my nose."
She never got an answer and the two of them left the room, leaving just the boys.
Kyohei looked at his friends nervously and asked, "Are we gonna have to wear handcuffs again?"
Takenaga and Yuki looked at each other, and then at Ranmaru, who quickly stepped in. "No," he said. "The only reason the landlady wanted you two handcuffed was because the amusement park was quite huge and you two could have easily separated, or gotten lost."
"Oh, thank god," Kyohei sighed, relieved.
"Let's make you handsome for your date," Ranmaru said dryly, and the guys all grabbed Kyohei by the arms and pulled him out of the room.
"Aw, guys, 'c'mon! It's just creepy chick!"
"How rude, Kyohei!" Yuki huffed. "She's pretty and you're just in denial about your feelings."
He rolled his eyes but let them pull him out of the room. "No, I'm not in denial about my feelings. I'm one hundred percent sure that I don't like her," he said, raising his voice loudly by the end of the sentence. He gave them a pointed look.
The other three looked at each other and shook their heads in pity. "That's only because you have yet to realize what your life would be like if you didn't have her in it," Ranmaru said with the utmost seriousness.
"I have an idea."
The brunette studied him. "Well, what is it?" Takenaga asked.
"It would be fantastic," Kyohei said. "And so much easier. And we wouldn't have to deal with all this 'turn her into a lady' shit."
And awkward pause as he eyed them with an expression that clearly said 'I'm right, ya know'.
The womanizer was the first to speak up. "Although that last part is rather true," Ranmaru sniffed daintily, "we all love Sunako-chan—"
"Yeah? Than one of you idiots date her."
"—but you're the one that's in love with her," Ranmaru finished with a charming smirk.
Kyohei didn't have time so defend himself, as they had already made it back into his bedroom. They quickly shoved him into the bathroom and closed the door.
"Take a nice shower! We'll have your clothes ready by the time you come back out," Ranmaru called through the door.
Author's Notes: So, I'm wincing as I reread parts of this. Yeah, this was bad. I warned you guys. And since these notes are bordom-inducing, I think I'll delete them whenever I update the next chapter. I'm not dead! Just incredibly lazy!