Disclaimer: Pink, Blue, Orange, Blonde, White and Brown all belong to Tarantino, genius that he is. I only own the VHS and an undying devotion to the characters that borders on the fanatical. However, if Tarantino ever feels like putting the boys up for adoption, he should give me a call; I'll be more than glad to take them home.

Ahem. My latest inspiration for fics seem to be weird dreams and since my latest was about Mister Pink (suffice it to say, I'm scarred for life) I figured that it was time to wander over to the Reservoir Dogs fandom for a few minutes. And I mean a few. I don't intend on sticking around because it'd be super easy for me to get sucked in and never leave. I'm already too obsessed with RD as it is. A rabid fan fiction writing fangirl is the last thing this fandom needs.

Yeah, I said fangirl.

-hears fanboy stampede heading her direction-

Wuh oh.


I bet you think I'm a fuckin' scumbag, don'tcha.

Well, I never said I wasn't.

But you gotta understand my side of things.

It wasn't supposed to go down the way it did, you know that, right? If things had gone accordin' to plan everyone coulda walked away with a nice fat share of the pot and nobody woulda got hurt.

Of course, nothing ever goes accordin' to plan in my life.

We had a rat in the house. I'm still not entirely sure about who it was.

If you was to ask me who I'd have to say by process of elimination that it was Orange. I mean, I can't be sure about Brown or Blue, but Orange did shoot Blonde.

Blonde was an alright guy...

Aside from the fact he was a fuckin' psycho.

White was careless, but he wasn't a cop.

Regardless, they're all dead now.

And if they ain't dead, they will be soon enough. Orange for sure...he was already well on his way to meetin' his maker before everyone went fuckin' nuts and started shootin' each other.

Don't get me wrong, I gotta respect 'em for stickin' by what they believed in and seein' things through to their inevitable conclusion, but Christ man, respect don't bring 'em back from the dead.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know...it was 'cowardly' of me to get outta harms way when the bullets started flyin', but what would you have done?

Oh you liar, you would have done exactly the same thing I did. Don't even try and pretend you'da been some noble mother fucker and chosen a side.

You'da gone into hidin' long before I did...

It's human nature. Self preservation and all that shit overtakes other instincts in these kinds of situations. Loyalty (ha, loyalty) flies out the window and all you're concerned with is findin' a way to cut your losses and run.

Of course, you might not have had the presence of mind to grab the diamonds before you hit the pavement like I did.

Alright, so maybe greed overshadowed self preservation for a few minutes there, but God damn it, it was a lot of ice. I'da had ta been a fuckin' moron not to take the bag.

So call me what you want.

I'm a scumbag, sure...

I admit that.

But I'm a fuckin' rich scumbag.


A/N: Alright...so I'm nervous about getting Pink's voice just right, 'cause I like him so much and wanted to do him justice.

What's the verdict?