Standard Disclaimer Applied.
They lay in the bed together, under the busy motions of the sky and the land; their existence parallel to their ambience, interacting but never touching as they were supposed to be.
Quistis had never much contemplated how she and the man lying beside her were very much like the land and the sky.
She looked at him, and even in the fading light she could see his green eyes piercing her soul. Those eyes were always masked and never had it been unfolded, undiscreet, until now that it troubled her that much because she had never seen it as alive. It made her uncomfortable because she wondered how many times this man had made himself vulnerable through his eyes. And it scared her because it seemed that they were speaking to her, and the words, hanging with the silence, were the ones she had never wanted to hear.
"You need to go." He spoke directly at her, his voice just audible enough to be heard.
"You're pushing me away." She heard herself say.
He sat upright and directed his hand at the bedside table. In the middle of the action, Quistis' hand stopped him. But he got what he wanted anyway, just that it was just beyond completion.
"We both know you don't belong here."
The instructor slowly disentangled her hand in his and she mirrored his position, but her side faced his back. His words in its context would have killed but as she had expected, she had not even missed a breath. This was just among the truths that did not hurt. She regretted that it did not, but she would not want to lie to him after everything.
He may be a man of strength but he knew pain.
And with that, she knew she was his living torment.
"Just so you know, I never regret this happening," Quistis said, while she allowed her body to move to his side of the bed so they were sitting side by side.
"So do I," he said as he ran his hand through his hair. "Hell, I enjoyed it as much as you did."
Quistis smiled despite herself. "I'll give you enough credit for that."
His eyes once again bore into hers, and even in the distance she had never felt him closer. He smirked, although his orbs never reflected his stance. And that expression, it came and went. He stared at her intently and after a moment he again broke the silence.
"You were thinking of him, weren't you?"
She did not hesitate to answer her affirmation with a small nod. At that, she looked away.
"He doesn't deserve you."
"So do you." She found herself retorting back.
Quistis thought, that neither deserve her not because she was so damned perfect, and that she was a queen but because she was the exact opposite. She was tainted and marked; and she had toyed both men's emotions, unintentional that might be. She was conflicted and that was her own demise but so were they. It was a chain reaction, a falling domino, that within their circle they kept on hurting and she was just the pawn as she was the queen.
Once, both men have loved the same woman who chose them both.
She would not make the same mistake.
"I didn't want to hurt you."
"You did a pretty poor job of doing that, instructor."
"But then, at least I tried."
"You still failed me. I was your failure. I always will be," he said as he looked at her once again. He moved to do what he wanted to before she interrupted it a while ago. He must have anticipated that she would do it once again.
Silently, she held his hand and said, "As you will always be my biggest regret."
"Have I told you you're beautiful?"
Saying that she was shocked would be an understatement because she was befuddled at his directness. She made an effort to smile, and shook her head.
"I tell you, you're not going to hear it from me." He was very much aware their hands were still interlocked in the darkness of his room.
"I don't expect it...in a million years," she said with a small laugh.
He smiled as he said, "I don't want to repeat what they tell you. Damned Trepies tell you that, and I bet your fucked up man said that to you too like it was some kind of mantra."
She said nothing as he continued. "I would want to let you hear the things only I could say."
They were gazing at each other intently and neither of them wanted to make even a single move; afraid that everything would just fade at that little action.
"I will live without you."
Spoken. Told. Understood. Quistis knew they were really like the sky and the land; for him, she was the sky, too high and can never be reached as he was the land, always on the ground and would always be walked on.
But for her, he was the sky and she was the land. The sky would always exist, with or without land for it to reach out to.
"...That was something I've expected to hear from you."
She allowed herself to be hurt at his words but she knew deep down that she could never blame him. They danced around the fire, and their dance was intense, was alive but it had to end now for both had been badly burned.
She kissed his hand and let her lips stayed there for a second, for a minute as the memories played once again inside her mind. They were bittersweet and she smiled, for the last time, she smiled and looked at his green depths.
"Do you believe in what I've told you, Quistis?"
The smile still in her eyes, she stood up, her back to him and she stared at herself in the mirror, the blankets covering her lithe form. She picked up her discarded garments from the floor and put them back on, while wandering in her thoughts. She knew that she loved and still love the man that wasn't with her now and she would not want to lie to the man she was with for the moment...after everything.
Seifer Almasy finally lighted his cigarette and successfully did so without her, anymore, stopping him.
"I do too."
They were both the sky and the land; it did not matter who was which for in their ways they were both alike. They both exist, but in their existence they were just parallel; never meeting, never touching and never crossing.
It was never meant to be.
Quistis went for the door and gently turned the knob, walking away but not failing to catch his words.
"Just tell me how to do it."
A/N: As you can see from my pen name, I am a hardcore Quistis/Squall shipper but then I had the sudden urge to experiment and this came out. In this fic, Squall and Quistis are in love but they kind of got into a fight so they needed time off. This was Quistis' time off. And yeah, she's not perfect. Forgive me for all the OOCness and the other unQuistis and unSeifer -ness in this fic because, well, I must tell you this is my first time. But then, thanks for everyone who will read and review. Much love. :)