Standard Disclaimers apply… I don't own FoR... that makes Nobuyuki Anzai a lucky person...

Chapter One: Waiting

I hate you, Tokiya… I really do…

I ran down the street that day, not minding the pelting rain pouring heavily or the number of times I've slipped and fell on my knees. My determination got the better of me. My mind was focused on getting to his apartment on time- no; I don't care if he's already left. I want to be there, waiting until he comes back.

Damn you, Mi-chan! How can I be stupid all this time for not know about this?

I cursed under my breath as I recalled how everything boiled down to this. How I got myself into this pit, even though I knew I could still save myself before everything is too late.

Too late.

So as the rain continued to shed itself, my mind wandered back to where this all started. The day fate turned my life into pieces.

When I thought I was complete…


"That makes you Vice Captain, Kirisawa."

I looked at the direction of the voice with confusion etched on my face. The voice belonged to the silver-haired man standing on the door frame of the dojo, who looked at me calmly, as if what he said was the most obvious thing in the world. I composed myself, as I tore myself away from my opponent.

The guy, who happens to be the vice captain of the team, pissed me off when he groped my ass in front of everyone, after telling me that a girl does not belong in the martial arts club. My vision was blurred by anger and humiliation that I lunged at him before he can even prepare himself. I've had martial arts training since I was three, there's no way he can tell me that. I proved myself unworthy of his remarks, when I had him on the floor, my foot pinning his neck on the floor. I wondered how a guy this weak can be a vice-captain and why hasn't the captain showed his face since the application period started.

"What that's supposed to mean?" I said. The silver-hair guy walked toward me, his face looked blank and stiff. Handsome, but stiff.

"Ichikawa is the vice captain of this club. No one has ever dared to fight him and you beat him up. It makes perfect sense that you take over his position."

He looked at Ichikawa who was stunned as I am in his words.

"You are no longer a member of this group. Your actions are nothing but a disgrace. Leave."

Ichikawa sneered at him, and scrambled away from the dojo.

"Now, anyone of you who wants the vice captain position, come forward and challenge this girl."

"What!?" I cried, eyeing the crowd slowly. I can size them all up, and I can tell that they are stronger than me. I waited silently; as I tried to suppress the nervousness I'm feeling.

But none of them stepped forward.

"That settles everything. You are now the Vice Captain of this team. Understood?"

I shook my head. "But I'm just a freshman and I haven't passed the final test yet. I-"

"You think I didn't know that before telling you?"

I was taken aback. I stared at my feet, feeling meek and stupid.

"But, it's all up to you. Do you want this position or not?"

That was a stupid question.

"Of course I do!"

"Okay people, you heard her. Now where's your respect?" Upon his words, all the members as well as my co-applicants fell on their knees and bowed. I was overwhelmed and shocked by the turn of events that I can tell that my mouth was gaping open.

"Now if you'll be so kind to peel your jaw off the floor" I closed my mouth and looked at him indignantly "and return the same courtesy of introducing yourself."

Quickly, I bowed deep and smiled at them. "I'm Kirisawa Fuuko, a freshman and the new vice-captain of the martial arts team. Pleased to meet you all."

I heard his steps leaving and I called him. He stopped.

"Hey, who are you? I assume you are the Captain. What's your name?"

"Mikagami Tokiya, captain of the martial arts team." He called over his shoulder and he left after that. I thought it was rude of him not to even look back, but my excitement and happiness with the situation made me overlook that.


Yes, it all started when I met Mi-chan a year ago. A lot had happened after that. But only a few things were made known to me.

I idolized him. He was the best fighter I've ever known. I was fueled by my admiration to get to know him more. I excluded myself from his fangirls who were worshipping the ground he was walking. I said to myself that I was better than them and that I was merely admiring the Captain as a fighter, and not as a man.

But I was fooling myself. I was drawn to him the way a moth is driven towards fire. I want to be closer to my captain not just as his right hand man. I want to know everything about him. I want to be a part of his life.

So I masked my feelings with something else…



I called after him he walked out of the library one day. As usual my cheery attitude was greeted by his chilly and frigid stance.

"Noisy again, monkey. Haven't you had your daily dose of bananas? I'm sure the cafeteria has lots of those for you, so bug off and leave." I ignored his sentiment and fell on a step beside him.

"Ooh, feisty aren't we? Why so irritated, Mi-chan? Got blue balls when you woke up this morning?"

I knew I struck a chord with that one. Point one to Fuuko!

"Ha! Over what, monkey?" I can see a vein popping on his forehead already and his voice sounded odd through his gritted teeth. "Seen me sticking my nose on some girl's ass lately? I don't think so." He smirked at me and walked faster than his usual pace. But I can keep up. I can.

"Hmm, let's see? Over me then!" We stopped walking and he looked at me as if another eye sprouted between my other two.

"Come again?" I love making him look like that. Dumbfounded. It makes me want to laugh so hard until my sides hurt. But, I kept my face straight.

"Me? Why else will you be cranky to greet me if you weren't? I can read through reverse psychology, you know. Admit it, Mi-chan, you have the hots for me." He massaged his temples and sighed, an indolent smirk splayed on his pretty face.

"You're hopeless, Kirisawa, you know that? Clearly, you're losing it. Me? Over you? You ought to be better than that." He shook his head in disbelief and looked at me challengingly.

I was hurt from that comment of his, but I kept that to myself. I only wanted to be friends with him. That's all there is.

"Heck, who knows what's going on inside you head? That was just a guess." I kept his pace parallel to mine. It wasn't a guess. It was a cheap shot to get into him, who knows he might say yes. But as I walked here, with him in my arms' reach, his face still smirking at my remarks, I made myself accept this for now. But deep inside, I wanted more.

"Mi-chan, where are you going now?"


"Eh? Already? C'mon let's eat out, I'm starving!

"Not hungry."

"Yes you are, I can hear your stomach saying hamburger from here."

"No, it didn't." prrrrttttt…. "Ya hear that, you big snooty liar!"

"Fine, your treat then, tubby."

"Who're you callin' tubby fridgeboy?"


"Oh, and by the way Mi-chan, I left my wallet at home. Pay the tab, ne?"

"Why you--!"


I wished, from then on, that he'd notice something more from me. I wanted him to notice that I'm not simply just a buddy he can talk to or someone he can play around with. I want him to realize that I'm also just a girl. I want to be treated like one, be seen like one, and be admired like one.

Maybe I was asking too much.

If I was, I'd like to beg. But my pride told me to do nothing and wait for him to realize that on his own.

If only my pride knew how dense he is when it comes to this kind of thing, pride would've driven me to tell him all.

But my hopes of getting noticed went down the drain one day when we were sitting on the lavatories after practice.

I was busy telling him how funny a video I saw in the Internet the other day. I was chatting nonstop, and didn't notice that he wasn't listening anymore. When I did, I smacked him on the head.

"Hey, were you even listening?" I traced the direction of his gaze and found it on a familiar face.

Sakoshita Yanagi.

I don't know if I the real reason why I was irritated was because he wasn't listening or because he was shamelessly staring at Yanagi. Either way, I didn't like it at all.

Yanagi, though she is a friend of mine, seemed to have taken it all from me. Single-handedly, she took away Recca, my best bud since time in memorial, and now Mi-chan?


"Yanagi-chan? Beat it, frostee, she's taken." But to no avail, he's still staring at her. I whacked him on the side of his head again.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He scowled at me as he rubbed his sore head flat. I pasted a blank look on my face, trying so hard to conceal the hurt from showing on my ever-transparent face. I stood up and started walking towards the dojo.

"We have an after practice meeting, remember?" I took a few moments before he left his seat and tail behind me. My world crumbled, cause I knew he stared at her for a few more seconds before walking my way.

Be strong Fuuko. He'll figure out soon. He will.

Or so I wished…


I stopped in front of his apartment, breathless and gasping for air from running non-stop. But there was nobody home. No Tokiya sitting by the window, looking far away from his favorite chair. No sign of the cold, lonely teen who locked himself away from the world ten years ago on a night like this.

I felt weak-kneed and soon my legs gave up. I felt onto the cold, concrete sidewalk as I remember how distant he had been for the past few days. Last year, the same scenario happened and I let it slip away. I didn't even bother asking what happened. He distanced himself from me. He vanished for a day. A few days later, he'll go back to his usual poker-face attitude with a tinge of sadness that'll vanish in a couple of days. No big deal.

But, stupid me, it IS a big deal.

This year, it happened again. Confident of being friends with him, I asked him what's the matter and all he gave is a blank stare and a simple "I need to be alone." He walked away and he avoided for days.

Today, he didn't come to school. I went to his classroom to bug him, but he wasn't there. Not in the cafeteria, in the dojo, and not even in the library. I suddenly felt weird and alone without his ever-cold presence. He'd gotten under my skin and I'm worried sick.

I felt even sicker when I heard two of his classmates talking in the girl's washroom.

"Poor Mikagami-kun, it's the time of the year again."

"Yeah, I pity him as well. Good thing he was strong. If that happened to me, I would've died years ago!"

"That's right, it's not that easy to accept the fact that your parents died in car crash while you and your sister to survived it."

I froze there like sand struck by lightning. A cold shiver ran down my spine.

I didn't know… How foolish of me not to know!

But that's not all… They continued to shock me with facts about Mi-chan that I do not know…

"But it didn't stop there. His sister died a few years after, on the same month as his parents died. She died protecting him. Such a pity… I heard he wasn't able to speak for a couple of weeks after that incident."

"Who wouldn't be?"

I don't want to hear any more. I rushed out of the washroom and hurriedly picked up my things from my table. Recca saw me and asked where I'm going.

"I have something to do." I said simply as I stormed out of the room.

I was angry. I was angry at Mi-chan for leaving me out of this.

I was even angrier with myself… for letting this happen. I said I wanted to be a part of his life, but how can I let his happen. How did I let him go through this alone?

My anger seemed to have affected the skies and moments later it started to rain.


I waited for like hours. I was soaked to the bone and shivering like a drowned rat. I felt weak with hunger and I wanted to cry. But still, I waited there on his doorstep. I wanted nothing but to see his face, hear his voice tell him that I---

"Kirisawa, what are you doing here?" There he was, standing in front of me, with an umbrella on one hand and a bag on the other. He looked sullen and distraught.

"Mi-chan…" I couldn't help myself. I rammed myself to his hard chest and I cried. In his surprise, his umbrella and bag fell on the floor.

"Hey, what's the matter monkey?" I looked at him with imploring eyes. I looked at him directly, and then I pound my fist on his chest. "Damn you, Mi-chan! Why didn't you tell me about them?" I felt him stiffen from my grip.

"Who told you?" his voice was cold and distant.

"No one. I heard it in the washroom. Tell me, you big jerk! Why leave me out this?"

He gripped my shoulders and made me look into his cruel eyes.

"Why do you even care? You're just my vice captain, my persistent little underling. You have no reason to concern yourself with my life. Tell me the, Kirisawa, why the hell do you care about my past? To pity me? I don't need your sympathy."

I don't want to, but I slapped his cheek. I slapped him so hard, my hand burned with pain. My tears rolled down effortlessly, staining my rain-soaked face. I was angry at him for thinking that shallow of me.

"Because I care, you idiot! I would never ever pity you. Not you, not every one else. No one deserves pity, you got that!? I only want to share your burden because I consider you as a friend. I only wanted you to feel that you're not alone and you have me, for Pete's sake ! Now I'm sorry for that, if you think that's wrong. I'm so—"

He didn't even let me finish talking because he silenced me with his own lips. He kissed me and he held me tight. I froze. I expected myself to be the one doing this, but he did.

When we broke away, he looked at me intently.

"I'm sorry." The he tore his gaze away, as if he was shy or ashamed of what he did.

"That was rude of me. I-I was-" This time, it was me who cut him off. I held him tightly

and I can feel his arms wrapping me as we deepened the kiss. I can feel the need and yearning as his lips moved against mine. I welcomed him with equal passion, keeping up with his demands. I wanted this. I won't hold back.

We broke apart and he simply clutched me tightly, as if he needed me so bad. I wanted to believe that he really needed me, even if it's make believe.

"I'm here now, Mi-chan. I'm here as long as you want me. I'm you friend." He made me look straight into his eyes. His eyes burned holes into mine. "I don't need friends, Kirisawa." I held his chin firmly as if I want his whole attention one me on that instant. "Fine. Use me then." He inched closer and before he closed the gap, he said:

"No, I want you for myself."


End of chapter one!!!! Yey! Finally got those thoughts out.

Willl you be so kind to review after reading, please!!! I won't post the nxt chappies if no one reviews ne?

Make my day please!!!!!

kyusetsuki satsuki

Next on chasing you, chasing me...

If I knew that being with him was like this, I should've said it so much earlier...

I don't care if all of them think that's he's just using me for his own selfish reasons... Let me believe what I want to believe...

Mi-chan... why?...

Chapter two: Illusory Bliss

Till next time!

kyusetsuki satsuki