Inner Thoughts

Inner Thoughts

Written By: DJ Carter


Authors Notes: This is one of my first fanifcs that I'm proud of. I took 2 of my favorite characters, Celes and Locke, and looked into a part of the game which was not only very, at least in my personal opinion, unique, but also clouded. While there was 2 things that could have happened here (AKA Cid Dying or Living) I went with him dying. And you can see why when you have read Celes part. Be on the lookout for another fanfic coming soon by me, "Past Wrongs" and "Stay Warm" Cid, Celes, and Locke are all property of Squaresoft, as well as all the towns mentioned, and any other characters. ~End Authors Notes~

Grief fills my mind, as I stare at my grandad, his eyes slowly closing. "No," I think. "Open your eyes, Grandad," I say. He doesn't stir. I shake him. "No.... No... NO! Don't
Leave me alone! Please!" He remains still. "No... Not you too..." I am sure that they are all dead.... Locke.... Terra.... Edgar.... all killed from the fall from the airship as it broke in half like an egg. I look back at him once more. This man, had treated me like a daughter. He always loved me no matter what I did. Then, I start running. I don't know where.. and I don't know why. Or maybe I know these things. But, I really don't care anymore.

I keep running, sobbing uncontrollably. I have nothing to live for now. I slowly start up the large cliff, certain of what I'm going to do. As I finally come to the top of this barren hill, I stop. The sun was setting in front of me, the sky turning to purple and red undertones. Closing my eyes, I take a step forward and jump.

As the wind slowly moves upward past my fevered brow, I think of my life. Anyone close to me was gone. I was soon to join them. Locke.. Edgar.. Sabin.. Relm.. Terra.. Shadow.. Mog.. Strago.. Cyan.. Gau.. Setzer.. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you, I think.
I'm so sorry. Then I hit the water.

Sometime after, through my eyelids, I see a dim light. I am afraid of what I will see if I open my eyes. Finally, I open them. I see the beach, in front of the abandoned house. The abandoned house I had so recently dashed from. "DAMN IT!", I scream. And then I get on my knees.. and give a short laugh. I had killed many an innocent soul, but I couldn't even kill myself. The cruel irony of this world. Then, a noise near me brings my shameful face up. I see a carrier pigeon. Confusion fills my mind. Of all the places to be, why would it travel here? But then, I see the blue ribbon tied around its leg. Upon closer examination, I realize that it's a bandanna.

Then, the thought occurs to me. Locke? Is this Locke's?

Then I stand up, sure of what I must do. I slowly walk back into the now empty house. I look around, searching for a way out of this wretched place. Finding nothing ,Despair overwhelms me. I sit on the bed and close my eyes. In all of my years of training, there had to be something to get me out of this place. Then I open my eyes, discouraged when I realize I have no way out.

Then, for the first time, I see it on the floor. A torn envelope.

Picking it up, I find a letter inside. Its from Cid.

Thank you Cid, I say as I delicately position the letter on the pillow. I find the hidden stairwell, then the raft, my gateway to freedom. Taking it out to the beach, I glance once more at the abandoned house, then push off to embrace what ever comes my way.

I sit in a bar, slowly sipping a water. In this town's cafe, Nikeah, I see people walk past muttering.... mocking me. 'Thief," they say. A year ago, I would have threatened to rip their lungs out. But now, it doesn't seem to matter much. Nothing matters now, except finding Celes. Thats just like me, to promise to protect someone, just to fail and have them die. Or may be she's not dead. Hell, who knows. This world of ruin, as I have heard it called, is so screwed up that towns were ripped in half. Narshe, a town that had been a bustling trade center is abandoned. The people who were left, locked themselves inside their houses and shops, keeping the monsters out. I stand up, slam some money on the counter, and walk outside and sit on the ground.

I look at the horizon. Sorrow overwhelms me, as I realize what I had been avoiding. I had failed her. I had promised to protect her, and then I lost grip of her on the airship. Falling... Was that how anyone close to me was destined to die? Rachel... Wait, I have to remind myself, she isn't dead, I have to find that relic.

I had been back to Kohlingen, and had talked to the herbalist. He said something about an esper called Phoenix, but, he has also lost whatever was left of his sane mind. But, it was also all I had to go on. I had went to Figaro Castle, and searched through the library. I had found some documents referring to that esper. It was an esper that belonged to the former Emperor Gesthal. He had hidden it in his secret vault, somewhere north of Tzen.

Then, I stand back up once again.Then, I hear a noise behind me. A small carrier pigeon. It is hurt. I look for something to help "sling" its wing, but I see nothing. Then, I feel the cloth on my head. I take it off my head, and slide it on the bird. It seems to immediatly heal and fly away. I smile, then I start walking south. I won't regret anything in the past. I have to look foward, to stand on both feet. Maybe I won't be able to save either woman, but, heck, I can try. ~Fin~