Chapter One--- Welcome This Confession

Because these are my last words and this is
My last breath, I'd give you everything if there
Was something left. I've got nothing left to prove--

It was a sign. Today was going to be hell. The first song you heard playing on the radio always set the mood for the rest of the day - it was a fact of life. And when your radio thrusts you into traumatic awareness at the crack of dawn with The City Sleeps in Flames blaring into your eardrum, fate was telling you that it was going to be an awful day.

Not that Riku believed in silly, suburban superstitions, mind you. At least, not until he tripped over his back pack, fell face first onto the floor and slammed his head beneath the open drawer of his dresser, then proceeding to slip on his right sock and land flat on his ass in the middle of the bathroom floor.

For the record, he now fully believed in silly, suburban superstitions.

"Riku? Are you ok? Hurry up!" His mother's cheery voice called from the kitchen, reinforcing Riku's belief that today was going to suck. His mother was never chipper in the morning.

And to top off what could quite possibly go down in history as the worst morning ever, his shower was freezing. Shivering, the silver-haired teen quickly rushed through the icy torture and got dressed. No disaster there. Yet. And the blow dryer hadn't exploded while he fixed his hair. Maybe there was hope for today, after all.

"Riku, you're going to be late for school! And remember to pick up your work for Thursday, you've got a photo shoot!" Riku sighed. He hated photo shoots with a passion only matched by his hatred for freezing cold showers. And slipping on dirty socks. And bad mornings, in general.

"Gotcha, I'll get right on that." The words were muttered softly as he grabbed that cursed back-pack and shouldered it, leaping down the stairs, narrowly avoiding a collision with his younger brother, Zexion.

"Bad morning?" the younger boy asked.

Riku rolled his eyes. "The worst," he responded, groaning to himself. Zexion smirked softly and followed his family out the door.

"Look! There he is!"

"He's so hot!"

"Look at that hair, I wish I had his hair..."

Riku rolled his eyes at the adoring female population of his high school. It was the same everywhere he went: they all wanted a piece of him - to know him, to have him, to lay some kind of claim on the beautiful boy. But none of them cared, not really.

He suddenly smiled softly, catching sight of a familiar black beanie covering a shock of blond hair. He waved once, smile widening into a grin.

"Oi, Seifer!" he called, motioning to his friend. "Come over here!"

The tall blond nodded and made his way through the crowd to stand before his friend. Almost immediately, something felt wrong to Riku. The blond's face was tight, with an odd gleam shining in his green eyes.

"Hey Riku," he said, smirking. " I was just looking for you. Do you think you could meet me at the library at lunch break? I have something I wanted to tell you." The tall blond smiled a bit strangely at his childhood friend and Riku frowned curiously, but nodded his consent.

The bell rung twice then, interrupting the questions on the tip of Riku's tongue. He switched his book bag from one shoulder to the other, throwing his friend a wave goodbye before making his way down the hallway.

The day proceeded in much the same horrible fashion as it had started. He tripped, ran into things, ripped the crotch of his jeans, broke his shoelaces and his belt and lost his homework. For every class. A deep sinking feeling was beginning to gnaw at the pit of his stomach, strengthening gradually as the clock ticked off the last five minutes before lunch.

Superstitious Riku may not have originally been, but he wasn't an idiot; he knew something was wrong, and a deep panic was seeping into his very bones.

And then the bell rung for lunch, and he had to fight the urge to run home. Shaking his head against the impulse, he exited his fourth period class and pushed through the crowd of students. Bodies surrounded him as he made his way to the empty library. Hardly anyone ever visited the place, and it was more than surprising that Seifer - who typically refused to even look at anything in a hardcover -would want to meet him there. But as soon as Riku entered the library he spotted his blond friend, standing in the rear of the room, anxiety but aloofness warring on his face.

"Seif? What's up?" Riku asked slowly, walking up to his childhood friend. Seifer's frown suddenly morphed into something lighter, and he smiled at the white-haired boy and raised a hand to his shoulder. The feeling of dread suddenly thickened, clenching his chest until Riku could barely breathe.

But the nausea quickly dissipated into shock as - without the slightest bit of warning - Seifer's lips descended onto his own, muscled arms pulling Riku's slim body close.

Before Riku even knew what he was doing, he was kissing Seifer back, the feeling of someone's tongue sliding across his own drowning the internal voice screaming obscenities at him. It felt so strangeā€¦but he couldn't find it in himself to pull away.

Just as he was letting the last of his defense fall, camera flashes jolted him from the hazy warmth of Seifer's kiss. Riku jumped backwards, his back slamming against the row of encyclopedia's surrounding them, but the damage had been done.

"He really is gay!!!" someone catcalled from the crowd of students standing before him. "Who would have thought? Pretty boy's a fag!!!!!"

Riku backed away from Seifer in horror, one hand shooting up to wipe his lips desperately. Without pausing to look at any of the teenagers leering at him, he shoved his way past them, slammed the doors of the library open and ran down the hall, angry and humiliated tears stinging his eyes as the taunting cries of 'fag' chased him all the way home.

A.n: Beta-ed by Dualism, love her, worship her and for god's sake review her awesome work!!!!!