Where are you Christmas

Summary- Dean learns the truth and doesn't care. He tries to make Sam's first Christmas the best.

No Spoilers

Written by Sammysgurl aka: Kylie .W.

Where are you Christmas

"Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play"

John was sitting on the chair watching, but not paying any attention to some crappy tv show. He was lost in his own mind. It has been a month and how many days? John didn't even know since Mary his wife had died. He new it just wasn't a fluke or something. He new something had put her up on the ceiling. Something that was long gone by the time he got to her. The only question was, what had done it to her? What had killed his Mary, his wife?

He was interrupted by little footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!"

"What is it Dean?"

"I wrote Santa a letter saying what I want for Christmas!" Dean said handing John the paper.

"Dear Santa,

I've been a very good boy this year, I haven't done one bad thing, I've helped take care of Sammy, I've helped clean up my toys I even helped Daddy cl"Deean the house. I guess all I really want for Christmas is my Mommy, I want her to come back home.

Please and thank you Santa.

Love Dean"

"My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too"

John ripped the paper up and said. "Dean Santa can't bring Mom home."

"Why not? I've been a good boy this year!" Dean said heart brokenly.


"But Daddy?"

"Dean...listen son..."

"But that's the only thing Im asking Santa for, I want Mommy home."

"Dean Santa's NOT real!"

"Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go"

Dean had a look of hurt, confusion, and anger written all over his face.


Dean ran right away up the stairs to Sam and his room, and slammed the door shut.

John felt horrible, he had just told his four year old son that Santa was not real on Christmas Eve, Mary would be disappointed in him. He shook his head and took another sip from his bear.

Dean was so upset. How can Santa not be real...ugh so far out of his four years this was by far the worst Christmas ever!

"Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh"

Dean walked to Sam's crib. Sam was looking up at Dean with big bright green hazel puppy dog eyes. Dean new that if Sam gave him that look he would have no control over doing anything for Sammy. Dean bent down and kissed Sam on the forehead and Sammy smiled a little toothless cute baby smile, and giggled. Dean smiled at that. "Don't worry Sammy Santa's coming and I will make sure you will have a great first Christmas."

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time"


"Dean wake up!"

Dean woke up with a start and crabbed Sam and went down stairs.

"Daddy wha...??"

There in front of him was a big Christmas tree with a couple of little presents under it.


"I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love"

Dean started opening up his present and was happy even though he got a toy car un stead of his Mom. He decided to open Sam's gift too. It was a Mobile his old one burnt down in the fire. The night his mom went to go live with the angels.

"Thanks Daddy." Dean went to go give him a hug.

"What no Dean, those present where from Santa."

"It's okay daddy I know you got them for us."

John felt a sudden rush of sadness and the only thing that came to his mind was to hug his son while holding Sam, his child that could have easily have died that night if he didn't give him to Dean in time.

"Marry Christmas boys."

"Marry Christmas Daddy."

"Marry Christmas Mary." John whispered not loud enough for Dean to hear.

"Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love"

- Where are you Christmas by Faith Hill -

So I guess you can see how bored I get lol. I was listening to Xmas music and this idea just popped into my head so I hoped you like it and yea!

Love Kylie aka: Sammysgurl