Arriving at the measureless McMahon Mansion in Stanford, Connecticut, 'John' and 'Alfonso' stepped from the car, clutching an array of ingredients in the several carrier bags they held in their hands; today was all about revenge, even if it was meant to be the Holiest day of the year.
Pushing the door bell with his only available finger, Triple H noticed the saddened expression in his best friends eyes. Really, he didn't want to drag him away from his family on such an important day. Yet, Shawn wanted nothing more than to be there for his mate in his hour of need - no matter what time nor day.
"Arr, you must be John and Alfonso - come on in!" Linda gushed, inviting the two men into her house. Neither of them gasped at the masses of extremely expensive furniture or ornaments. They had both seen it all before, or at least heard about it a million times over!
"Did you have a safe journey?" the petite blonde quizzed, smiling warmly to the 'Italian's'.
"Yes, it was very good, very few cars on the road today!" 'John' replied calmly, struggling to keep a firm grasp of the bags.
"I'll lead you to the kitchen before introducing you to the family." Mrs. McMahon spoke, leading the two men to their work place for the day.
"Ummm, must we meet your family?" 'Alfonso' questioned vaguely. "I mean, it's not that we don't want to, it's just that..."
"What he means is," 'John' stepped in after seeing Linda's raised eyebrow, "Time is getting on - it is essential that we start cooking asap!"
"Don't worry, a few minutes won't hurt." Linda differed, waiting patiently for the two men to place the food that she would be eating later down onto the counter. "Now, come on, I'll introduce you to my son and daughter." she beamed with pride, the two men rolling their eyes in dismay; hopefully, neither or the McMahon siblings would recognise them.
"Now, there was going to be an extra mouth to feed but, he cannot make it today." Linda stated.
"What's the matter with him?" 'Alfonso' spoke up, wanting to get his Mother-In-Law's interpretation of events clear in his mind.
"He's ill, apparently." she said doubtfully, pushing open one of the many solid oak wood doors. "Mind you, it's probably a good thing that he couldn't come." she decided, turning her back to the make shift chefs. "Him and my dear Vince would only get into an argument over one thing or another, ruining Christmas like they did last year."
Hunter scowled, Shawn putting a steady yet comforting hand on his buddies chest. They simply couldn't afford to have their cover blown, at least not yet.
It was true, last Christmas day had been a farce. Vince and Hunter had great respect for each other and what either man had done for the wrestling business - and each other over the years. Yet, they struggled to get along with each other for any length of time, due to their similar stubborn, pig headedness as well as their insatiable appetite to win constantly.
No doubt it would have been nothing but the same this year.
Strolling into the living room, Linda introduced the two chefs to her children and Shane's wife as well as Grandchildren. They all greeted each other in a friendly way, wanting to be as pleasant as possible.
However, upon noticing her Father entering the room, Aurora let out a gurgle, her lips forming into that of a smile as Stephanie held her in the direction of 'Alfonso'.
"What's up baby?" the Billion Dollar Princess asked her baby girl, jogging her up and down in her arms, knowing fore well that she wouldn't be able to reply. She glanced from time to time at the figure at the door, not knowing what to make of her daughter's or the gentleman's expressions. Had they met before? Surely not, she promised herself.
"Well, yes, you'd better be getting on." Linda reminded the two men, rubbing her hands together. "Do you need me to show you where the kitchen is again?"
"No, that won't be nessacery." 'Alfonso' replied, sadness clouding his voice; at that moment it hit him like a ton of bricks how Shawn must have felt that morning, leaving his family like that.
Alas, he was determined not to be too downcast by all of this; there would be more occasions for hugging his baby.
Suddenly, an ear piercing wail came from the vast living room, Hunter stopping dead in his tracks. The Icon dragged him on, knowing that if he stood there, he would lose focus.
"What's wrong, angel?" Linda rhetorically quizzed her granddaughter, Stephanie lifting her up into her arms.
"Maybe she just needs her diaper changing." Shane shrugged.
"She doesn't smell like it but I'll take her and see, just in case." Steph decided, gently carrying Aurora to the nearest of many bathrooms available to them.
- - - - - - - - - -
After a couple of hours of cooking, DX were well on their way to cooking the McMahon Christmas meal. They were becoming a little over zealous, each man coming to the conclusion that, if they couldn't be at home with their loved ones of Christmas day, they might as well enjoy each other's company.
However, a phone call was about to make them crash back down to earth with a bump.
As the phone started to bleep, Vince had implored that the duo took the call, bringing the message through to him. "Hello?" 'John' spoke.
"Hi, that's not Vince, is it?" the familiar voice questioned.
"What do you want, Edge?" Shawn grumbled, his Texas accent coming out in full force.
"Oh, nothing, just to wish my favourite boss a very, very, Merry Christmas."
"Yes, really. Where is he anyway? I need to speak to him about something else - a rather pressing matter." The Rated R Superstar chuckled sadistically.
Just then, the door swung open, the man in question peering past the door frame.
"Uh, wrong number." 'John' replied, plonking the phone down, Mr. McMahon simply shrugging, returning to his family.
"Phew, man, that was a close call!" Shawn exclaimed.
"You don't think Edge really would drop us in it, would he?" Hunter questioned, knowing fore well the answer.
"We're just going to have to keep on our guard, that's all." the Heartbreak Kid decided, stirring the gravy once again.
- - - - - - - - - -
A little while later, dinner was about to be served. As all of the McMahon's became seated at the table, Stephanie looked at her baby adorably. "I think you ought to go into your crib for a little while." she concluded. "After all, you are a little bit too young for turkey just yet!" she cooed, bouncing her bundle of joy up and down a little.
As soon as 'Alfonso' walked in the door, her eyes became wide, a teeny smirk returning to her face. Yet, Mrs. McMahon-Levesque still couldn't make it out...
"What an adorable baby." 'Alfonso' piped up, reflecting the little girls smile.
"She sure is!" Vince agreed. "Tell me, Alfonso, have you been blessed with the gift of children?"
"I have one but she doesn't know me all that well." he spoke, caressing the young baby's cheek. "Do you want me to put her in the cot for you?"
Stephanie spied her parents expressions; they both nodded in agreement for her to do so. She was more than a little over protective of her first born...
"Sure, if you don't mind." Sniffing the air, she caught a whiff of the man's cologne. "That's funny, I brought my husband that same aftershave for Christmas." she grinned, the penny maybe dropping for her.
"Uh, well, you have a very good taste!" 'Alfonso' commented, dashing out of the dinning room, leaving a certain Billion Dollar Princess very, very curious.
"Aurora?" 'John' asked, the baby's eyes once again lighting up.
"Yeah - I'm putting her to bed." 'Alfonso' nodded, taking her to the crib in the living room a little further away.
Laying her down, he watched her eyes melt into his, as her eyelids continued to droop. "I love you so much - never forget that." he told, wrapping the pink, teddy bear blanket around her tiny frame, resting his hand across her chest to feel her soft, rhythmatic breathing.
Abruptly, the door swung open, a person stood there who Hunter was not expecting...
"Stephie...I mean, Stephanie?"
"I just wanted to make sure that you'd put her in bed correctly." she smiled naively to the chef, bending right over in front of him, her short skirt becoming even shorter as her flesh was becoming more and more visible. Hunter adored her legs and thighs.
Taking a keen interest, he bent over a little, imitating her actions. However, as if she had eyes in the back of her head, she spun round, pulling her skirt down, a scowl present on her face.
"Sick, huh?" she folded her arms across her. "You start explaining and start explaining now!" she warned, her eyes narrow, scolding through his body.
Meanwhile, in the dinning room, 'John' was having a hard time keeping his face. Nervously looking at his watch from time to time, he prayed that his partner in crime would be back soon.
"I wonder where Steph's got to?" Shane's wife, Marissa, inquired.
"Can I go find her, Mommy?" the eldest McMahon Grandchild, Declan, chimed in, pulling at his Mother's dress sleeve.
"No, son, you stay here," Shane guided, patting his eldest son on the head, "We don't want you getting lost too!"
"Sorry about that." Stephanie strolled back into the dinning room. "She couldn't get to sleep very quickly for some reason."
"So you are now all a-ready for your Christmas Day feast?" 'John' cheered, watching smiles creep across the McMahon family faces as he disappeared back into the kitchen and in search of 'Alfonso'.
"I hope this will be good." Linda raised an eyebrow, knowing that her questions were soon to be answered.
"Well, it smells wonderful." Stephanie beamed, a mischievous smirk coming to her face.
- - - - - - - - - -
"You're kidding me! She's not going to say anything, is she?" Shawn whispered as quietly as he could, a hand pressed against his forehead.
"Nah, don't worry, but I think we should skip the starter and main course, just go onto the 'dessert'." 'Alfonso' nodded, taking the few trays with them.
Smirking as they entered the dining room, 'John' and 'Alfonso' were about to get the revenge they wanted so, so badly.
"Arr, Mr. McMahon, something that you said to us once stuck in my mind," John began, planting a silver covered platter right in front of him, the contents not yet visible. "You like tradition, no?"
"Yes, very much." the Chairman of the Board nodded, his chest plumping, his ego enlarging.
"Well, we only thought it would be right for you to carve the turkey then." 'Alfonso' declared, handing the boss a large carving knife.
Standing proudly at the head of the table, Vince removed his own jacket (for a change), throwing the sandy coloured robe to the floor. Clearing his throat, he lifted the lid off the plate, ready to address whatever be underneath.
Much to his - and the majority of the McMahon family - shock, he lifted the lid, to reveal no turkey or anything resembling food.
Instead, there was a folded piece of paper, simply with 'Vince McMahon' written on the outside. Mr. McMahon was beyond puzzled - where was his family's turkey? He took the paper, unfolding it, shocked at the only two words written in plain, green writing.
"And, in case you forgot, it's our tradition to beat your ass!" 'Alfonso' growled.
Pulling their disguises from their body, Vince spun round, his mouth dropped, before him were two of his most dreaded workers; Triple H and Shawn Michaels, D Generation X!
Smacking Vince in the back of the head with the platter, Hunter held it up, as a warning of things to come for the rest of the family if they intervene. "Now, that IS what I call stuffing the turkey!" the Game chuckled, holding up the dinted platter in his hands.
Just then, Stephanie got up, her mock shock not plastered across her face for long. "And, if you are not down with that, we've got two words for you." she proudly announced.
"SUCK IT!" the trio roared, bolting out of the door, complete with baby Aurora as the helicopter landed at perfect timing on the McMahon estate's back lawn, all of them getting strapped in.
"Are you ok?" Hunter put an arm around his wife and baby.
"Just fine - he'd had it coming to him for years, calling my handsome husband ugly!" she purred, planting a passionate kiss on her husbands lips.
"Don't I get one?" Shawn joked, feeling a little left out.
"Maybe when we get back to San Antonio." Hunter winked.
As the helicopter rose high in the sky, Vince stumbled to the outside area, followed by Linda and Shane, muttering threats of revenge himself amongst other things. "I'll kill him...I'll fucking kill Coachman!" he announced, clasping the back of his bleeding head. "And Edge...he was meant to be keeping an eye out for me...what happened for that, huh? I knew I should have spied on them myself but 'no', Coachman said, Edge can do it better! I knew I should have trusted my own instincts! John and Alfonso my ass!"
As Vince's insane rant continued, Hunter, Shawn and Stephanie - and even the mystery helicopter driver, donned fully in red and white, his bulging stomach laughing merrily - had just two words to say to the remaining McMahon family:
- - - - - - - - - -
And so that is the conclusion of 'Now, That Is What I Call Stuffing The Turkey!'. A big thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, adding this story to their favourites or alerts, whatever, I just hope you have enjoyed this nonsense fic!
If you have any suggestions for any other stories, just let me know and I could try and work something out. I am still going to be around on this site but, hopefully, adding to the fantastic Placebo slash heaven site of sucker-love! If you love band slash, go check it out, it's purely amazing (cheap pop, lol!)
All that's left for me to say is thank you and Merry Christmas, have a brilliant New Year and 2007!