"Thanks for penciling me into your busy fucking schedule," Cynthia said with a smirk. With newly died hot red pin straight locks, Cynthia's hair now matched her fiery personality. It had been a little over a month that the two friends were reacquainted. Olivia called Cynthia to meet her at Che, a small café where they used to meet up on Sunday mornings when time permitted. Olivia was expecting Cynthia to throw the questions at her faster than Barbara Walters on an evening news special.
"I missed you, Cynth," Olivia said as she mixed the ice cold coffee drink in front of her. "I'm glad you remembered me, I thought you had dicknesia where you forgot all about me," Cynthia said laughing at how she actually almost saw a grown woman spit out her drink everywhere. "You really are too much, is that all you think about? Is it all you do?" Olivia said her laugher growing silent but not really stopping either. Cynthia acted outraged but Olivia saw right through her opened mouth and widened eyes. "Nope but I can tell you someone who does," Cynthia said with a smirk coming across her glossed lips. "Why am I scared to ask?" Olivia asked with her arms crossed and resting on the table. "Jonathon," Cynthia said as if she expected Olivia to automatically know. "You holding out on me? Tell me who Jonathon is," Olivia said leaning forward ready for her latest installment of Cynthia's sex life memoirs. It was the only time where Olivia talked about sex so casually. It was like she was in college all over again but even in college she wasn't so sexually liberated or satisfied. Besides the heated words spoken in bed, Elliot and Olivia didn't exactly speak much about sex well not as casually as Olivia could with Cynthia that is. "John!" Cynthia said loudly as a woman from a booth across them looked over, shaking her head. "Who is this John character?" Olivia asked Cynthia watching her lean forward to whisper it, " Munch," Cynthia said quietly before leaning back on her chair. Olivia didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to respond, she didn't know whether she believed it. "You are going to sit here and tell me you and Munch, are…I can't even say it," Olivia gasped for the first time in years, nothing shocked her anymore but this took the cake.
Cynthia just nodded and tried to fight back a smirk.
"Are Jonathon and I fucking? Well no, technically it happened once…no actually twice but I love talking to him for some bizarre reason.
"Jonathon, I can't even believe you call Munch that and secondly how the hell did it happen and two fucking times?" Olivia said louder than she intended, this time the woman across knew better not to even both looking over. " I went to go see if you were in the station because I was in the neighborhood and thought you would want to go out for coffee but Casey said you were on a call with Elliot so I knew you wouldn't be back and that was probably fancy police talk for messing around on the job but," Cynthia said in one breath. "Enough. So get to the part where you tell me with as less detail as humanly possible how you and Munch, you know..." Olivia said feeling shocked, disturbed and strangely intrigued, she secretly couldn't wait to go and tell Elliot in secrecy.
"Well I saw him there and he was heading out and we got talking in the elevator," Cynthia said. Olivia smiled when she said elevator, she knew that was a place where new words leading to knew beginnings could be exchanged. "I just found him attractive, he had a lot to say and most guys don't talk, I do all the talking but he gave my mouth a work for its money," Cynthia said raising her eyebrow knowing exactly what Olivia had to be thinking, "Remember, as little detail as possible," Olivia joked, she was strangely relieved to hear Cynthia's little secret, it was a distraction from the fact that Munch almost caught her and Elliot in the basement of the station. He had walked in to see Olivia with her hands above Elliot's belt, his face was turned so it looked like he was either whispering or doing otherwise with his mouth. Munch wasn't stupid but he wasn't exactly surprised either. Elliot and Olivia distanced themselves from each other while Munch turned and walked back up the stairs. None of them mentioned a single word about it since.
Olivia watched a smile come across Cynthia's lips as she pushed around the salad on the plate in front of her.
"I just got sick of the same type of guys out there on the scene. Same suits, same talk about finances and the same ol' fucking flings," Cynthia's face was no longer joking but completely serious as she looked down into her glass. "I know what you mean," Olivia was honest, she knew how hard it was as a single woman trying to find something genuine but then again she never looked because she somehow knew she looked at what she was seeking for years before she even knew it. "Not to say that we wont have a sexual affair or two again because he is really and Liv, I mean really really goo.." Olivia waved her hands in front of her face, cutting off Cynthia before she could continue, "No but seriously we just went for a pretzel in the park and sat there and talked before we ended up back at my place" She smiled.
"Wait a second; he got you into bed with a pretzel? Have you ever even eaten a pretzel before?" Olivia laughed- Cynthia shook her head and pretended to act hurt.
Munch wasn't exactly a father figure in her life but more like an older brother she would have secretly always wanted to have. No matter how many times she rolled her eyes at him she was glad to have him in her life. He was one of the most honest men she had ever known and Cynthia deserved that.
"I can't believe this, are you guys still talking or you know…doing whatever?" Olivia said nervously, she felt so adolescent like she was seventeen years old talking about boys except she was in her forties and the boy was in fact her colleague that was decades older than her . "Yeah we are but it's nothing serious, who knows if it's anything, I think he worries because I'm so much younger than him but I don't think it's a big difference do you?" Cynthia said, she took a bite of her salad but continued to move tomatoes around on her plate but her eyes still on Olivia.
"Listen, I don't think it's that bad but I have also dated older men in the past plus I was in love with a married man so who am I to judge any relationship," Olivia said not realizing what she said until after she had said it. "I was right; you always did love him didn't you?" Cynthia said quietly as she leaned back, the smile on her face was wide and toothy.
"He was my friend though, he was my partner and I did love him when I shouldn't have which is probably why we almost lost our fucking jobs plus I think his daughter hates me," Olivia said as she looked away staring out the window.
"You can't help who you fall in love with and as long as you keep it out of work how would you lose that? Plus I highly doubt his daughter hates you, honey" Cynthia said reaching out to touch Olivia's hand. "We almost got caught by your 'Jonathon' when we were in the file room in the basement of the station," Olivia dropped her head and didn't bother to sweep the bangs away from her eyes. "I never ever thought that I would ever just throw out all of my work ethic and dedication and…" Cynthia held her hand up, " Just because you love him doesn't mean that you aren't still an amazing detective, you and him both know that, think of all the people you two have helped, so what if John walked in, did he even see anything?" She asked, immediately Olivia shook her head. "I don't think he saw anything, we didn't even get to anything before he walked down, I can't believe we were so fucking stupid and horny. Is really great sex worth it? I don't even know what…." Cynthia dropped the fork from her hand and wiped her hands. "So now it's just sex? For being the toughest woman I have ever met you sure are afraid aren't you," If there was one thing about Cynthia is that she never shies away from speaking her mind. This time she was right about Olivia so Olivia didn't say a word.
"Of course I'm afraid, I just don't want it to stop me anymore, I'm trying- you know but there's our jobs, there's his family…there's everything. I haven't even told Simon about him, you are the only one who knows," Olivia said feeling her eyes water but a weight lifted from her shoulders simply by vocalizing what had been eating up inside her ever since the incident in the basement of the station.
"I understand why you don't want the details of your relationship broadcasted but you said you were working with different partners lately so how is that bad as long as you keep your hands off each other at work you 'll be fine. And what's the worse that can happen? John isn't going to say anything especially now that he knows I was going to lunch with you- he has to expect for me to open my big mouth. And lets just say for conversation sake your Captain broke you two up on suspicion that there is some hanky panky going on in the NYPD, everyone in the station will be collecting money from their bets they probably have placed on you guys and you work with different people, and even then so what, you still have each other," Olivia couldn't help but smile, Cynthia had a way of summing up a dilemma she had on repeat in her head but simplified it and successfully found a solution but it didn't completely overpower her other insecurities.
" Then there is his oldest daughter who is the only one old enough out of his kids to have been able to fully grasp the demise of her parents marriage, she probably was like Kathy and assumed that he chose me over them, when he didn't," Olivia added quietly. "You are making excuses for wanting to be happy. First off, he never cheated on his wife and his daughter is still young and she is probably just adjusting to the change but has Elliot talked to her about it?" Cynthia asked, "I haven't told him that I think his daughter doesn't like me. I love his kids, I always love hearing about them and seeing what a good dad he is but," Cynthia held up her hand to interrupt, " Him being a good dad and you being a caring person doesn't have anything to do with it, does his other children know about you guys?" Cynthia asked, Olivia shook her head. "We don't even talk about it so I doubt he sat his family down and broke the news when I don't even know what we are," Olivia said, "Well why don't you ask him?" Cynthia asked confused at how the strong independent woman in front of her could be so unsure of something that was so obvious to everyone but them. "Because I don't know what I want. Sometimes I think that maybe we are still just friends that happen to now have the most amazing and I mean mind blowing sex but it's not just that, I'm terrified to death to love him," Olivia said, she wiped her eyes as if it would prevent the moisture from slipping from her eyes. "Why, honey?" Cynthia asked as she rubbed Olivia's arm, her often blunt sexual dry sense of humor was now replaced with comfort and understanding for her friend.
" I don't know how to, maybe I do but I'm just not used to this, sometimes I will wake up naked in his apartment laying with him and want to just get up and leave- not even waking him up. I want to be able to do this but I don't want to get rid of what we had before," Olivia said biting down on her bottom lip. "I don't want to hurt his kids but I just want to be able to do this without losing our jobs and fucking everything up."
"Olivia, you have loved each other before you even knew you did, you cant plan these type of things, you think I woke up one day and decided that I wanted to date an eccentric old man nearly twice my age that is the complete opposite of every loser I ever dated? No but it happened just like you and Elliot happened. Plus his daughter will come around but talk to Elliot, despite the shit I talk and what you may think but I think you two have such an uncomplicated connection," Cynthia said the one word that Olivia used to frequently use to describe her relationship with Elliot. Complicated but maybe it didn't have to be that way.
"Things aren't that complicated anymore, putting aside all of my whining I am actually happy, I just get scared sometimes but don't tell anyone that or else it might run the mean bitch exterior I got on the streets," Olivia smiled. "I promise as long as you tell Elliot to keep his mouth shut about my sugar daddy because I know you'll tell him the minute you see him," Cynthia smiled back. "Deal and you know he has no money right?" Olivia said.
"I know," Cynthia laughed honestly.