Disclaimer-I don't own the TT


Forgetting

Story By StormDancer


It is not light that we need, but fire; not the gentle shower but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.


Sometimes, Cyborg wishes his whole brain was a machine. Then he could edit out the parts he wanted to forget. He could destroy the memories he hated and bring the ones he loved into full view. He's wanted this for so long that he's gotten very good at it. Even before the accident, his dad would criticize him for having a selective memory. But now that he's part machine, his memory isn't selective anymore. He remembers everything, somewhere in the mechanical half of his brain. Luckily, those files are only accessible when the organic part of him wants them to be. The rest of the time, he only has to worry about the human memories. But he's very good at forgetting those.

He can forget his mother's scream when the truck crashed into their car. He can forget the pain of getting a new body. He can forget the horrible, betrayed feeling in his chest when Robin was Slade's apprentice. He can forget the wrench of his heart when he left Sarasim behind. He can forget the slimy feeling that came with fighting his own friends and teammates, however mind controlled they were. He can forget the end of the world. He can even forget the glares from Mammoth and Gizmo, his one time friends, when the Titans burst through the walls of the HIVE. But he'll never be able to forget Jinx's look when she heard the Titans call him Cyborg.

It wasn't so much the anger in it, because he saw that before and he's seen it after. It wasn't even the betrayal that defined it. He's betrayed and been betrayed before. He's seen that hurt in other eyes. He's felt it in his own. It was the emotion that was in it before, when he was dancing with her, and then leached out of her look as she heard Robin's voice. It was an emotion that he had had when she was with him, but lost as she left. It was the liking, maybe even the love, which she had felt for him and him for her. It was the love that is no longer, that could never have been. That was what was etched into his memory forever, which would haunt his dreams if he had them. The love receding from her eyes, while it was still in his. That was the look which he could never forget.

Cyborg has always been very good at forgetting. Since then, he has been wishing he was better.