Disclaimer: I still don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

Summary: WARNING SPOILERS: This story refers to Season 2 episodes! Takes place after Crossroad Blues – Sam finally learns his father's secret. Can he deal with what it means and how it will affect his relationship with Dean?

Raven 524: This story is taking place after Crossroad Blues and will refer to other episodes from Season 2. If you haven't watched any of season 2 and don't want to know what is happening, then don't read this story. This is picking up right after Dean refused to answer Sam about trading himself for his father. It will be my attempt to answer the question of what John told Dean…it probably won't be close to what the series does, but I just couldn't resist taking a stab at it. It may also refer to things that happened in my last stories "Broken" and "Ties that Blind" once again, you don't need to read them…but it might help in setting the stage for where Sam is coming from. Also, fair warning, this chapter is a little intense, so if that bothers you, you should stop reading. Hope you all enjoy it!

Secrets

Chapter 1 – New Vision

Sam tried to reign in his surging emotions at Dean's refusal to answer his question. Dean's refusal to answer was in itself all the answer Sam needed. His brother didn't want to be here if it meant that their father's soul was lost forever. And nothing that Sam could do or say would make Dean want to stay. The demon had confirmed what he and Dean already knew; their father had traded his soul for Dean's life. He knew that the only thing that kept Dean with him was his promise to his father to keep Sam safe. He sighed as he looked out the window, things were so messed up. He wondered if things would ever be the same again between him and Dean.

Dean heard Sam sigh and knew that his brother was upset. But how could he answer him. It had taken everything he had not to make the deal with the demon. He would have had 10 good years to make sure Sam was safe and their father would have been returned to them. But in his heart, he knew that it was wrong. His father had told him not to be afraid during their last conversation. But Dean was terrified. His wondered how long his father had carried the secret. How long had he known about Sam and what was to come? And why had he never told him or Sam before this?

But now it all rested on Dean's weary shoulders. He wanted to share the burden and he knew that he would have to tell Sam soon. But not today…he just couldn't handle it today. Turning the radio down Dean looked at Sam.

"So, do you want to stop for the night or just keep going for a while Sam?" Dean knew that Sam was exhausted and thought he'd offer up an olive branch.

"I could go a little longer if you want Dean…really, I'm good." Sam didn't want to be any more of burden than he already was to Dean. Besides, even though he was exhausted, he didn't feel like facing his nightmares any time soon.

"Fine!" Dean returned to his own thoughts. He had tried and right now he was in no mood to handle Sam's issues.

Dean had been driving for almost 2 hours when he heard a strangled cry from Sam. The last time he had checked, Sam was sleeping with head against the window, but his brother was staring out into the night, his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

"Sam!" Dean turned down the radio and looked closer at his brother. "Sam, what's wrong?"

But Dean already knew the answer, it was another vision and from the looks of it, it was going to be bad. Dean pulled over to the side of the road and quickly got out. He opened the passenger door and helped turn Sam in the seat. Sam's fist were now clutching at his head as he moaned, his eyes unfocused as the vision continued to hold him in its grasp.

The man entered his apartment and dropped his keys and mail on the table. He shrugged out of his coat and headed for the fridge. Grabbing a beer, he headed to the living room and turned on the TV. He heard a noise behind him and turned but a soft voice stopped him. "Robert, you won't turn around." The voice had a weird echo quality to it. Robert turned back to the TV a shiver running down his spine.

"Stand up and head into the bedroom Robert" the voice said again "That's a good boy." The voice cooed as Robert rose stiffly and headed towards his bedroom. He stood in the middle of the room trembling. "You've been a bad boy Robert. Now you are going to have to be punished."

Robert flinched as arms were stretched above his head and his shirt was torn from his back by invisible hands. His naked flesh on his back crawling as he felt what he thought was a finger nail run down his back. But he couldn't sense anyone close to him. He tried to turn again to see what was happening when he jumped screaming in pain. A red welt appeared on his back, soon followed by another and another as the man screamed in agony.

Robert still stood in the center of the room, his arms stretched over his head as if held by invisible bonds as the whipping continued. Soon there was only a whimper from the man's lips as the whipping stopped. "Tell me you are sorry Robert…tell me and maybe I'll let you live."

Robert whispered "I'm sorry…please"

"Sorry, not quick enough!" The cruel voice said as Robert found himself thrown against the wall. He screamed as his tender back made contact with the rough wall. "Why?" He whispered as he blinked.

"I told you! You were a bad boy and bad boys have to be punished." Robert's eyes opened wider as he watched a knife floating in the air in front of his chest. "NO!" He cried as the knife moved towards his stomach. The knife was drawn across his stomach, leaving behind a deep cut. "Oh God, please stop!" Robert cried as he struggled against the invisible hands holding him in place.

"Oh but we have just started…" The voice said again as the blade continued to carve into the man's body. Finally, Robert's head dropped to his chest as he fell unconscious. The blood was dripping from the wounds on his chest and stomach.

"Just like I thought, you are too weak. I guess we won't get to the fun part this time." The voice almost sounded upset. "I'll be more merciful than you and those like you…you should thank me."

The knife that had paused in front of Robert's badly abused body drove forward one last time, impaling the man in the chest right through the heart. Robert jerked as a final cry was wretched from his lips before his head fell forward for the last time. His body dropped to the floor, the look of terror still etched on his face.

"Sam…Damn it Sammy, you're hurting yourself!" Dean yelled as he tried to hold Sam's hands. His brother had begun to beat at his head as if trying to drive something out. Sam's breath was hitching and the sweat was pouring down his face mixing with the tears that had formed.

"Sam, please come back!" Dean cried as he saw his brother's body begin to tremble. The visions had never lasted this long before.

Suddenly Sam gasped and leaned forward. Dean quickly moved aside knowing what was going to happen. Sam stumbled out of the car and fell on his knees on the side of the road. "I can't….I can't do this anymore!" Sam gasped as he continued to retch beside the road.

Dean rubbed Sam's back until he felt the spasms release his brother. Sam fell back into Dean's arms, his head against Dean's shoulder as he closed his eyes. "Sam, can you get back to the car?" Dean asked softly after a few moments. He wanted to get Sam somewhere warm and safe before they talked about the vision.

Sam nodded as he moved out of Dean's arms and stood on shaky legs. He didn't complain when Dean placed a steadying arm around his waist. "That's it Sam. One step at a time." Dean helped Sam back into the car and quickly got back on the road.

"We're going to stop at the next town Sam…ok?" Dean knew that sometimes Sam would want to head for where his vision was leading him, but this time Sam just nodded. Dean watched as Sam groaned and tried to lay his head back on the seat. "We'll be there soon Sam. Then we'll get you something for that head ok?"

Once again Sam just nodded. The pictures from the latest vision were replaying in his head as he closed his eyes. He tried to think of something else, anything else, but his mind kept pulling him back. Finally, Sam decided it was best to just stare out the window.

It took less than an hour for Dean to find a hotel, check them in and get Sam into the room. He had practically had to carry his brother into the room. Sam was lying on the bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling as if he was afraid to close them. Dean brought over a cool cloth and gently wiped Sam's face as he helped his brother take the pain pills they always kept in stock.

"Ok Sam, you need to tell me what's going on. I can't help you if you don't let me in." Dean said quietly, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam looked sadly at Dean. "You can't help me Dean…no one can. I'm so tired Dean, I just want it to end…I can't do this anymore." Sam's voice broke as a lone tear leaked from his eyes. He turned his head, not wanting Dean to see the depth of his despair.

"That's a load of crap Sam and you know it!" Dean said fiercely. He watched as Sam jumped at his tone. He gentled his tone slightly, not wanting to scare his brother. "I know I can't share in your shining ability…but I can help you figure them out. I can help you once you figure out what has to be done and I can make sure that you have back up. So don't tell me that you have to do this all on your own Sam, 'cause I'm not buying it. We are in this together, good and bad. Do you hear me Sam?" Dean watched as Sam blinked a brief flicker of hope in his eyes before they closed again in pain.

"Oh God, not again!" Sam cried as the pain in his head increased.

TBC

Raven524: Ok, here's the first chapter in the new story. Let me know what you think…continue or stop, its up to you all!