Guidelines and Eyetwitches

Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters or plot lines... those belong to Square Enix. I also had a lot of help from Aeron... one of my very good friends.

AN: This story was written because of a set of guidelines written by Aeron... she also helped write a lot of my jokes for this story. I would also like to say sorry, to any Cloti's who may read this. In which case they shouldn't. I make a lot of really mean comments about her. Please don't hurt me.

Vincent's POV

My eye was twitching. Frantically. Yuffentine? Help me.

"Oh my gawd. You read Yuffentine!" Tifa's voice came from behind me.

Eye Twitch

"No, I don't."

"Yes, apparently you do," Tifa said, pointing at the screen.

Eye Twitch

"This is a very good writer. His name is SydHywynd001."

"You know, you're usually paired with two people on these sites. Yuffie and me," Tifa said, giggling. "Which one do you like better?"

Eye Twitch.

"I can't believe we're having this conversation," I said, putting a finger to my eye.

"I know, it's almost as bad as Cloti."

Eye Twitch

"Yes it is," I said, nodding.

"You know, Yuffentine's are kinda cute," Tifa smiled, "but you gotta make sure they're written right."

Eye Twitch

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Like it's really fun to annoy you, but it must be done correctly."

Eye Twitch

"And you can't have too much Lovey Dovey stuff. Hugging might be okay, but absolutely NO kissing. That's bad," Tifa grinned.

I thought about laughing. Thought about it, but instead...

Eye Twitch

"Cute, Lovey Dovey," I mocked.

"Wait, there's more. Using pasts are good. Like Vincent, Lucrecia, Yuffie triangles," Tifa giggled.

I cringed.

Eye Twitch

Tifa grinned, "And the characters have to stay in character."


"Yeah. Like you've got a dry sense of humor and 'you must repent for your sins'.

Eye Twitch

"So I guess Yuffie's bratty and hyper," I suggested.

"What!?" Yuffie yelled, stomping in.

Eye Twitch

"You guys are talking about me, aren't you?"

"Absolutely," Tifa smirked.

"Ooh, you're reading Yuffentine!" Yuffie smiled, "I love those."

Eye Twitch

"You read Yuffentine?" I asked.

"Sure, it's way better that Clouffie or Valenwind."

Eye Twitch

"Pray tell, what it Valenwind?" I asked unhappily.

"Those are the worst," Tifa smiled.

"What is Valenwind?" I asked again.

"You and Cid," Yuffie replied.

Eye Twitch

Eye Twitch

Eye Twitch

"People like that?" I cringed.

"Sick enjoyment," Yuffie answered.

Eye Twitch

"Hey, do you think Lovey Dovey is okay with Tude's?" Yuffie stifled a giggle.

"No way! I know first hand that Rude only loves his EMR stick," Tifa smirked.

Eye Twitch

Rude entered grimly, "You're talking about me aren't you?"

"Yup," Yuffie smirked.

"Reno's the one who loves his EMR," Rude said.

"But he loves Elena," Yuffie smiled.

Eye Twitch

"There are guidelines for those too," Reno said, leaning on the door jamb.

"Like..." Tifa said.

"You have to have a better plot than Reno annoying Elena, and Lovey Dovey is definitely okay," Reno grinned.

"You love it, I know," Rude smirked.

Eye Twitch

"Lovey Dovey what?" Elena asked.

Eye Twitch

"We're making guidelines," Yuffie answered.


"Relena, you know, us," Reno put his arm around Elena.

"There is no us, you blithering idiot!" Elena yelled

"You know you like him, Elena," Yuffie smirked.

Eye Twitch

"No, I don't!"

"Then why haven't you moved his arm?" Tifa giggled.

"I haven't moved his..." She looked down at her shoulder, "Oh, so I haven't." She grinned, "But you know what's really fun. Reno, Elena, Tseng triangles."

"No way," Reno said, "You're all mine. It says so on your name tag."

Eye Twitch

Elena looked down at her name tag and read aloud, "Hello I am... PROPERTY OF RENO!" she yelled.

Eye Twitch

"How long has that been there?"

"Three months," Reno grinned.

"So that's why no one flirts with me anymore."

Eye Twitch

"You know, I hate how they put you two outta character," Tifa paused. "You guys are both good Turks. Elena, you're hot tempered and quick to react and Reno's calm. Everyone thinks it's the other way around."

"Yeah, I know," Yuffie smiled.

Eye Twitch

"You know, a really good Relena writer writes Cloriths too," Reno said.

"Oh, I love Clorith!" Tifa and Yuffie said in unision.

Eye Twitch

"But as always there are rules for those too," Elena said.

"Yeah, like I hate how I brood and Aerith helps. I'm not that incompetent," Cloud said, walking in and pushing past Rude and Elena (Who had inched closer throughout the conversation).

Eye Twitch

"Yeah, and many people potray us similarly," I said.

Eye Twitch

"We're nothing alike," Cloud said, "and Aerith is... was not perfect."

Eye Twitch

"So true," Tifa said, arms crossed.

"I wish people would stop dropping random 'I love you's into their stories," Yuffie rolled her eyes.

Eye Twitch

"Yeah, I know," Tifa said, "It's so cliche."

Cid walked in frowning. "I feel so left out," He looked at the screen, "Hey, I #$& wrote that! Didn't think anyone would #$& read that."

Eye Twitch

"Will the eye twitches ever stop?"

AN: Hope you liked it. To any Cloti's that read it after I told you not to, You can't hurt me. To the people that hated it and weren't Cloti's... BRING IT ON! Flames are gladly accepted because in my opinion, it's better that nothing. If you liked it... Review... tell me what you think...