A/N: Funny idea came up in my head.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this fanfiction write now.
"Now Tenten, before you go on this date with Neji, we must have a talk," Tenten's mother spoke.
"What is Mom?" Tenten sighed with an annoyed groan.
"Now you're getting to that age where you will be pressured to do things that you might not be ready to handle," she started.
"Yes, I know mom," our little weapons mistress grumbled.
"And you know it's alright to say no," she advised.
"Mom! I know this already!" Tenten snapped.
"Hush! No you don't! Now listen carefully, you know those snake charmers in South Africa?"
"That's India mother," Tenten growled.
"Right, South India, well the song the snake charmer plays is like you and the basket is like a boy. Your song will make the boy's snake want to come out," she explained carefully.
"Oh my god," Tenten mumbled.
"Now one day, a boy will want to put his snake in your mouth, and you have three options to choose from: the first one is to make him go finish it off himself or cum in the corner as some call it," she gave details.
"Mom, please!" Tenten begged.
"No wait, I'm not finished yet! The second option is to spit. And the third option is the one that guys like the most, which is swallow," she continued.
Tenten groaned in embarrassment.
"But you must know that if you do have oral sex, you are not a virgin anymore," she made clear.
"Mom, just get on with it please!" Tenten snapped again.
"If he doesn't have a condom, don't do it," her mother warned.
"And you can always say no," she reminded.
"I know that mom."
"Don't roll your eyes at me young lady! This is a very important discussion we're having here! You must always take precautions!"
"Yes mom, I understand," Tenten said in a bored tone.
"Can I go now?" The teen asked.
"No! Not yet! I know this is only the first date and you probably won't get too carried away, but nothing below the waist!" She warned.
"Yes mom," Tenten assured.
"I mean it! Boobs are fine, but he sticks his hand down your pants, you need to act smart," she advised.
"Mother! Everything is gonna be okay. I am responsible. I won't let anything happen. It will be fine," Tenten spoke slowly.
"Aw, my baby girl is growing up! I remember her first bra-"
"Bye mom, I'm leaving!"
"And her first period," she sniffled.
"Ugh," Tenten groaned as she left the house to go meet Neji.
A/N: My friend gave me a fake goofy sex talk exactly like this. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review. Peace out.