In that one instant he relived an entire day. More than a day. The fear brought everything into sharp focus and he knew that he had to make a decision.
One moment. One crazy, stupid moment where Martin had put himself into danger. A gunshot, a flash...and Danny's heart had stopped. Seconds later Martin had opened the door of the car, waving to him and the others around them, calling for a medic. And Danny had wanted to hit him. Slam him up against some sort of hard surface and ask him what the hell he had been thinking. If he'd been thinking at all. Wanted to know what had ran through Martin's brain when he'd gotten into that car, unarmed, with a man who was already unhinged and who had a loaded gun. As usual, Martin's own safety was the last thing on Martin's mind.
Danny felt a conflicting sort of need. The need to beat it into his head that if he continued to make stupid, rash decisions he would eventually pay a price. And the need to hold him close, hold him tightly, to run his hands all over Martin and assure himself that Martin was indeed all right.
But what happened now? For the first time in months everything seemed to be crystal clear, and yet Danny still wondered what - if any - chance he had. Especially after what he'd learned today.
Jack had called Danny into his office about ten minutes ago, but now that Danny was sitting in here he was beginning to wonder what it was exactly that Jack wanted. They'd been discussing the case but never coming to a real point and that was practically baffling for Danny. Because Jack Malone did not make small talk, and Danny had never known him to avoid an issue. So Danny had to wonder why he was in here, going over things from the case that they already knew, and curious to see when and if Jack would get to the point of this little meeting.
"So Martin…Martin was there when it happened," Jack said slowly, eyes watching Danny carefully.
Danny nodded, frustrated and confused. "I know Jack, it's old news. There was nothing more he could've done."
Jack sighed, looking just as frustrated as Danny felt. "I'm not saying there was. It's just…" he trailed off, swearing under his breath and rolling his eyes. Finally, he looked up and met Danny's eyes again and Danny had never seen him look so…helpless, flustered. It was wholly unnerving. "Do you know what's going on with him and Sam?" Jack asked quickly, eyes flashing, jaw set in a way that let Danny know he was completely serious and that if he teased him in any way he'd regret it.
But the question caught Danny off guard for another reason. As far as he knew – and had hoped – there was nothing going on between Martin and Sam. Nothing other than their being friends, coworkers, the usual. Not that Danny had been completely blind to Martin's obvious crush on her, but Sam had turned Martin down. And then later…Martin had turned her down.
"What…do you mean?" he asked carefully, not sure where to step next or how to handle this conversation. It was odd at best, their discussing Martin and Sam. One of them pining after someone he'd probably never have, the other supposedly over the woman he shouldn't still want.
Jack glared at him. "You know exactly what I mean Danny," he snapped. "Martin was jogging a block from her apartment when that boy was kidnapped. His apartment is considerably further away."
Danny swallowed hard and nodded, managing a weak smile. "Yeah," he replied. He'd thought the same thing earlier but had quickly banished the thought, telling himself – although he didn't really believe it – that it was nothing, just a coincidence. Maybe Martin really did like to jog that far. Realizing, after a few moments that he hadn't answered Jack yet he forced himself to shake his head and shrug, pasting on his best careless expression. "Look Jack, I'm sorry but I really don't know if there's anything going on between them," he answered.
Jack regarded him steadily for a few seconds, and Danny had to look away as he saw the surprise that flickered in Jack's eyes. It was a certain sort of surprise that said Jack knew too much. Jack had assumed that Danny and Martin were close. Close enough that had Martin been having an affair with Sam that he would've confided in Danny.
Danny had thought that too. And it hurt that Martin hadn't told him. Not that Danny wanted such a confirmation. But still…despite wanting more, Danny had at least been able to assume that he and Martin were friends. Close friends. And being as such, he thought Martin would've told him if he was having a relationship with Sam.
Danny saw the surprise in Jack's eyes begin to fade into pity and Danny quickly stood up. "I've got to get back to work Jack," he said briskly. "Was there anything else?"
Jack shook his head and looked back down at his computer as though something of dire importance had just popped up on the screen. "No, that's all Danny," he said quietly.
Danny felt his cheeks grow hot and he turned on his heel and left as quickly as he could, not able to bear Jack's pity or concern or whatever it was. The fact that Jack knew – well, whatever it was he knew – was enough to leave Danny thoroughly mortified. He wondered who else in the office knew. Who else sat around and looked at him with pity and sympathy. Poor, lovesick Danny Taylor.
Angry now, he poured himself a cup of coffee and walked hurriedly back to his desk. He nearly spilled it on the way there, not paying attention to anyone around him and nearly running into Martin.
"Sorry," he mumbled, taking the last few steps to his desk and sitting down.
"In a hurry are we?" Martin asked, a teasing tone to his voice. He sat down on the edge of Danny's desk and crossed his arms over his chest. When Danny didn't look up, didn't respond, Martin waved his hand in front of Danny's eyes and laughed slightly. "Danny? Hello?"
Sighing, Danny looked up, attempting to appear annoyed, wanting to get Martin away from him as quickly as possible. But all he saw were blue eyes, dimples and an amused grin. It left him breathless and his heart squeezed tightly in his chest. And, in that moment, were he anyone else he would've been watching himself with pity in his eyes too. Poor, lovesick Danny Taylor was absolutely right. It was ridiculous and left him thoroughly disgusted with himself.
So he smirked at Martin and shook his head. "Sorry, just tired. Late night," he lied, a knowing grin pasted on his face. And once again, he felt that tug of regret accompanied by hope…because Martin's face fell just a little bit at his words. Danny wondered again why he'd never been able to be honest with Martin about his feelings. Why he'd never been able to figure Martin out one way or another. There were times that Danny would swear Martin flirted back, times when he was this close to asking for something more with Danny…but it never happened. Danny had never been so confused by someone in his life. Nor had he ever been able to not get over someone for such a long time. Someone he'd never even had.
Martin nodded and returned his grin before standing up and going into details about their case. Danny heard what he said, but was more focused instead on the way Martin had distanced himself. How he stood up to talk to him when sitting on the edge of his desk before had been so much more intimate. Danny wanted to ask him about Sam…ask if what Jack had implied was true. But every time he thought about it he was left with the sickening feeling that it probably was. It made sense after all. Martin had been chasing her in one way or another since the day he'd arrived in New York. She was the perfect match for him. Intelligent, sexy, sweet – when she wanted to be – and most importantly, a woman. They could get married. Live happily ever after…raise kids in a house in the suburbs with a fence and a yard and a dog. Raise intelligent, pretty FBI-produced children. It would satisfy Sam's need to belong somewhere – even if Martin wasn't really who she wanted. And it would satisfy Martin's need to comply with society's version of normal. His family's version of normal.
Danny did not fit into that picture.
Martin was back at his desk now and Danny knew he should stop staring, should look away and do something productive to help the case…or at the very least to take his mind off of Martin. And maybe this was the reason Jack knew whatever it was he knew. Maybe there had been too many times that Danny had been caught staring – gazing, was more like it – at Martin. Not to mention all the incessant flirting and the occasional random touching. Paranoid now, he forced himself to look back at whatever was on his desk, positive that everyone in the office was probably watching him. Watching him and whispering to each other that Danny was still so incredibly smitten with Agent Fitzgerald and didn't Danny realize that Martin was straight and definitely not into him.
Thankfully when he looked up again Jack was standing at his desk, asking him to go out to their missing boy's school and meet up with Vivian. He nodded, relief settling over him as he left the office, thankful for the fresh air – hoped that it would help clear his head – and the chance to be away from Martin for a little while.
And even then his heart protested despite his head and his pride.
He felt considerably better by the time he got back to the office. Not that the case was going particularly well, but he had been relieved for the time away from Martin, Jack...all those watchful people. He had to wonder when he'd become so paranoid. But the time away from the office had given him a little bit of time to think. Part of him wanted to confront Martin and see if he really was having some sort of relationship with Sam. But mostly, he just didn't want to know. It was easier to go on living in ignorance and still fantasizing that maybe someday Martin would be his. He paused for a moment on the way to his desk, scowling as he thought about how pathetic that made him sound...and feel. He'd never been so afraid to go after something that he wanted before, and he hated the feeling. Hated the uncertainty and insecurity he felt where Martin was concerned.
Frustrated again, he bypassed his desk in favor of the break room, wanting to see if anyone had left anything interesting in the refrigerator. He wasn't above taking it if they had. When he came to the room however, he stopped short. Martin and Sam were inside, sharing a table, engaged in what looked like an important conversation.
"...I'm just not comfortable with anyone else knowing," Sam said, voice low. He could hear the slight annoyance in her voice.
Danny froze where he was, glancing around to make sure no one was watching him. He didn't want to be caught eavesdropping, yet he wasn't really concerned about the eavesdropping itself. Swallowing hard, he made sure he couldn't be seen and strained to listen more closely.
"It's not like I want to broadcast it to the nation Sam, but don't you think we should at least let the team know?" Martin asked, sounding both angry and upset.
"You know why I don't want to do that Martin," she answered. "And I thought we already had this conversation this morning."
Martin's face fell, but he hid his hurt quickly. Danny had to wonder if Sam even noticed because her expression didn't change, nor did she move any closer to him or try to explain. But Danny noticed. Martin only nodded and looked away.
Sam sighed and Danny cringed as she reached for Martin's hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I don't want to hurt you, I just…I need for this…for you and I to stay a secret. At least for a while longer," she murmured.
Danny heard the words, the confirmation of Sam and Martin's relationship, but what he heard more was the argument they were having. He saw the hurt and disappointment that flashed in Martin's eyes, showed in the way his shoulders slumped. He knew he should turn away or even walk into the room and pretend he hadn't just heard their conversation. But instead he stayed frozen where he was, thoughts racing in his mind, heart aching painfully. Sam nearly bumped into him when she left. Their eyes met and Danny couldn't hide the bit of anger that flashed through his. She was hurting Martin. Despite his not wanting Martin to even be with her, the last thing he wanted was for Martin to be hurt. Sam's eyes widened for just a second and Danny thought she might say something. Instead she turned away, but not before he saw a certain sadness light her features. Sadness and what appeared to be guilt.
He didn't watch her walk away, turning back to look at Martin instead. He was still sitting at the table, staring straight ahead, looking a little bit lost. Danny bit down on his lower lip, not sure what to do next. He wanted to offer some sort of comfort to Martin, but he wasn't sure he should reveal that he was eavesdropping. He also wasn't sure he'd be able to keep his feelings completely hidden.
Sighing, he walked inside and sat down across the table from Martin, leaning forward and just staring at him. Martin looked up and frowned. When Danny said nothing Martin raised his eyebrows, annoyance flashing over his expression. "Yeah?" he asked sounding tired. "Something you need me for?"
Danny shook his head. "Not really," he said softly. He wanted to reach across the table and take Martin's hand in his, wanted to thread their fingers together and just let that be enough. Comfort Martin, because Danny knew he was hurting. Show Martin that he deserved better…and that Danny could give him that. "I…Martin, I overheard your conversation with Sam," he confessed guiltily. "I didn't know that you guys were…" he trailed off, waving his hand to indicate whatever it was Sam and Martin were. Boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers…on the rocks. He tried not to think about how badly he wanted the last option to be true.
Martin rolled his eyes and nodded. "I'm sure everyone knows now. I mean, since I was jogging right by her apartment this morning," he said, sounding both embarrassed and bitter.
They were quiet for a few minutes, and Danny had to wonder why it was always so easy. So easy to be together even when they weren't talking; he had to wonder if Martin ever noticed that too. "Why didn't you tell me about you and Sam?" he finally asked, surprised that he hadn't held the question back. It sounded needy and pained. Neither of which he was anxious to reveal to Martin.
Martin cocked his head to the side, a smile forming on his lips that wasn't at all happy. He flung his hand out in the direction of the door, exasperated. "You said you overheard our conversation right? She doesn't want anyone to know."
"But you do," Danny murmured.
Martin nodded but then quickly shook his head, laughing slightly. "I thought I did," he admitted. "I hated keeping it a secret from everyone, but I understood why we should, at least at first. What with Sam and Jack's…history. I hated lying though," he added, pausing to meet and hold Danny's gaze. "I didn't want to hide it from you," he said softly.
Danny swallowed hard, letting the words and Martin's tone of voice wash over him. It was almost as if there was a hidden meaning in his words or between them. But Danny knew Martin wouldn't let him figure it out, wouldn't drop enough clues for it to ever come out. "But it was easier to go along with Sam," Danny finished.
Martin nodded. "For a while yes, but now…" he trailed off, confusion settling into his voice.
"You don't want to hide anymore," Danny said.
"That's just it Danny, I…I don't know," he exclaimed, agitated now. "I've been telling her over and over again that I want to let you guys know, to quit hiding. She always comes up with an excuse. This morning I asked her to go to a basketball game with me, but she refused because there was a chance we'd be seen on TV."
"You could've asked me to go," Danny replied, trying to smile and make it into a joke. Something he knew he didn't quite accomplish. Martin returned his smile but watched him carefully for a few moments and Danny knew he'd heard more. "Well, go on, what else," he prompted, not wanting to give Martin too much of a chance to examine his reaction.
"Well, she's been so adamant that we keep it a secret. She won't budge. I'm afraid that if I push too hard she'll…"
"What? Break up with you?" Danny asked, voice rising slightly. "Is that really a relationship you want to keep?"
Martin's eyes widened in surprise. He started to respond but Danny beat him to it. "You shouldn't have to hide Fitz," he said, trying to speak calmly, to stay rational. His heart wanted differently though. "Or lie…just because she thinks it's for the best. Is she planning on it being secret forever or just until Jack is free?" he snapped.
"Hey…" Martin said, hurt. Pain flashed brightly in Martin's eyes and Danny instantly regretted his words.
"I'm sorry Martin," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to imply that you're…you're…"
"What Danny? A rebound? Her second choice?" he asked, voice faltering just a bit. "Don't you think I've already thought about that?"
"I'm sorry," Danny repeated. "I just…I don't think this is what you should be holding out for," he went on, voice starting to shake slightly. He knew he was going too far, was crossing into something that he wasn't quite sure he wanted to reveal. "You deserve better."
Martin's eyes locked on his and he didn't look away. Danny swallowed hard, knowing that he'd shown too much, had gone too far. If his words didn't give him away, the expression he couldn't hide probably did. Feelings and emotions crackled between them, filling the air in the room and leaving Danny breathless. It was too much and he didn't know how to escape this time. Martin was either going to figure things out or Danny was going to have to tell Martin the truth.
Eventually, someone else came into the room, walking past them to buy something out of the vending machines. It broke the silent spell that had settled over them and Martin stood up quickly. He looked down at Danny for a few more moments, pausing, almost as if he were going to say something else, but then he shook his head and turned away.
Danny sighed and watched him go, filled with an odd mixture of relief and frustration. Part of him wanted to call Martin back. Call out to him and tell him everything. Tell him how he felt. Tell Martin how jealous he was of Sam and how Martin deserved more. He deserved to be loved and cherished and made to feel special. All things that Danny would gladly do for him. But the other part of him feared rejection and denial. He was scared that Martin would turn away from him and that he'd lose his friendship as well as any chance at more.
Slowly, he stood up and made his way back to his desk, glad when a break in the case came and they were separated once more. He needed a few moments to breathe and to think about what he'd said and what he'd let show. And to try once more, even though he knew it was impossible, to figure out what he should do.
The panic and emotion of the situation settled all around them and Danny could barely hear anything above the yelling, the sirens and his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. But it was easy enough to run on autopilot, pulling Brian Stone from the car and getting him to the ambulance with the paramedics. Martin did the same for the kid, taking him to a different ambulance, wanting him to be checked out as a precaution. Afterwards, they put him into a car with another agent to get him back to the office where his mother was waiting anxiously.
Danny directed another agent to ride in the ambulance with Brian Stone since he would have to be taken to the hospital for the gunshot wound. He paused for a moment then, the flashing lights of the ambulance flickering over his face as he watched it drive away. His mind twisted the situation cruelly and he found himself imagining how differently this situation could've turned out. It could be Martin in that ambulance right now. He so easily could've been shot, and there wouldn't have been anything Danny could've done to stop it. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head slightly, forcing the images out of his mind. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to calm down and turn around. Slowly, his heartbeat started to return to normal and the rushing in his ears began to fade. He could hear Martin's voice, strong and solid, over the remaining activity.
"Yeah Jack, the kid's ok…shaken up, but he'll be all right. He's on his way back now," Martin said, pausing for a moment, listening. He nodded as he saw Danny, still listening to whatever it was Jack was saying, phone pressed against his ear, a finger pressed to the other. "No, he's on his way to the hospital. Ok, yeah…thanks."
He hung up and walked over to Danny, a relieved expression on his face. "Jack said we don't to worry about going back to the office tonight, that we can write up our reports tomorrow," he said, smiling a little bit.
Danny only nodded, unable to tear his eyes away from Martin. He still couldn't believe what Martin had done. How he'd gotten into that car and… Swallowing hard, Danny forced himself to look away and start walking to their car. Martin caught up with him quickly and he laughed as they got inside and pulled the doors shut. "So I tell you we can go straight home and you practically run to the car. Figure you can squeeze in that hot date tonight, huh?" Martin teased. Danny glanced at him and forced himself to smile weakly, noting with some confusion the look in Martin's eyes. A strange mixture of happiness and trepidation.
"Nah, no hot date for me tonight," Danny finally replied, his voice soft. He wished it were as easy as Martin was trying to make it. They hadn't had a chance to talk since their afternoon conversation in the break room. Danny had been both relieved and worried over the fact. He'd needed a break yes, but he also needed to make sure things with Martin were okay. But now…well, now he was unsure of what to do next or how to act. Trembling slightly, he started the car and drove around the remaining police cars back out onto the highway towards New York.
He still couldn't get over what Martin had done. Putting himself into such danger, into a situation that could've so easily gone wrong. Danny swallowed hard and took a deep breath, trying his best to ignore Martin and his sudden close proximity. But it wasn't easy; in fact it was nearly impossible. Danny wanted to think, to go over the day in his head – again – and figure out what to do next. He wanted to ride back to New York in silence.
Martin however, seemed to want to fill that silence with endless prattle about the case. At any other time Danny would have found it amusing, because Martin never talked just to fill silence. Danny was, in fact, the one who could be most counted upon to chat for hours about anything or nothing. So Danny had to assume that Martin was nervous or uncomfortable and that only deepened Danny's worry. Because Martin was often embarrassed around him, but in a harmless sort of way. Whenever Danny flirted or teased him, Martin would blush and stammer but he always smiled, laughed or teased Danny back. But this was an entirely different kind of awkwardness. Martin seemed genuinely uncomfortable with him, thus the need to fill the silence. Danny could only attribute that to their earlier conversation. Had Martin figured it out? Did he realize that Danny felt more for him than a simple friend should? If he had, he obviously, wasn't okay with Danny's feelings.
As Martin continued to talk, Danny could only hear his own voice inside his head. The one that kept taunting him with what he couldn't have. Not to mention that he still couldn't stop thinking about what Martin had just done. His mind was ruthless, torturing him with what could have happened instead of what did. He relieved that one moment over and over…the flash in the car, the gun going off, the airbag inflating and in that one second everything had stood still. Completely and utterly still. He saw himself running to the SUV, opening the door and finding Martin shot. Bleeding, hurt…worse yet, still, cold, pale…dead.
He couldn't do this. Couldn't sit here, inches from Martin, listening to him talk about the case as if nothing had happened. Before he could stop himself he pulled the car to the side of the road, ignoring Martin's confusion. He got out of the car and shut the door behind him quickly, leaning back against the side of it and taking a deep breath, fighting back the need to scream. The cold air was cleansing and he shut his eyes as he drew more and more of it into his lungs, letting it clear his head.
"Danny?" Martin's voice was soft and uncertain.
He couldn't quite bring himself to open his eyes…wasn't ready to face Martin's confusion and questions. But then he felt Martin's hand on his upper arm, touching him tentatively. Danny opened his eyes then and swallowed hard, noting the look of pure concern in Martin's blue eyes. There was worry there, and Martin stepped closer to him, unconsciously it seemed, and Danny's breath caught in his throat.
"Danny, what's wrong?" Martin asked.
Danny realized his mistake too late. For once Martin was the one doing the personal-space invasion and Danny had nowhere to go to get away. The car was at his back, Martin dangerously close in front of him, one hand on his arm. And Danny couldn't form any words, couldn't stop staring into his eyes, couldn't get past his closeness…and how he'd come so close to almost losing him just a little bit ago.
He took a step forward and closed the small distance between them, took Martin's face in his hands and kissed him. He felt Martin's surprise, felt him stiffen under Danny's touch, but Danny didn't pull away. This would probably be the only chance he got to kiss Martin so he wasn't going to end it so quickly. He slipped one hand into Martin's hair, sliding to the back of his neck and pulling him closer, his other hand dropping to Martin's shoulder. He pressed their lips together more firmly, and felt Martin relax into the kiss, felt his fingers tighten on Danny's arm. Gently, Danny licked at Martin's lips, felt Martin shiver and open his mouth, an invitation Danny didn't miss nor ignore. He whimpered softly as his tongue touched Martin's, felt the kiss go to his head in the most wonderful way. It was exactly as he'd imagined yet entirely different…better. Martin's mouth was hot, soft…his kisses both gentle and passionate and Danny wanted more.
But eventually they pulled apart, lips swollen and wet, breath coming in heavy gasps, eyes locked. Danny struggled to pull back slightly, unable to think while still being this close to Martin. The enormity of what he'd just done started to rush in all around him, leaving him panicky and scared. So Martin had kissed him back; it didn't mean anything. He'd just responded naturally. The way it felt had been completely one-sided; Danny knew Martin hadn't felt the connection as strongly as he had…if at all.
He cleared his throat and shook his head softly. "Martin I'm…I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't…"
But Danny didn't get a chance to finish his apology as Martin pulled him close and kissed him again. The shock Danny felt was quickly replaced with something much brighter and he melted a little bit against the other man. Martin's fingers slid into his hair and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Danny moaned as Martin licked at his lips and pushed his tongue into his mouth, tasting him. His mind was reeling with the fact that Martin had kissed him back. Not only kissed him back but initiated this second, amazing and passionate kiss. When they broke apart again, Martin whispered his name and rested his forehead against Danny's. Danny kept his eyes shut and leaned back more fully against the SUV, his arms wrapped tightly around Martin's back.
"You scared the hell out of me Fitzie," Danny whispered after a few minutes.
Martin pulled back slightly and looked into Danny's eyes, a soft, hazy look of confusion in his blue eyes. "Scared you?"
Danny nodded, lips turning up at the corners just a little. It was amazing how clueless Martin could be when it came to his own sense of self-preservation…or lack thereof. "Yeah, scared me," Danny replied. "Getting into that car? No gun and knowing he had one? What exactly were you thinking?" he asked softly, voice less chastising and angry than it would've been had he asked before their kisses.
Martin smiled softly and shook his head. "He wasn't dangerous," Martin replied simply. Danny started to argue but Martin pressed another quick kiss to his lips, leaving him happily quiet. "Besides, if I hadn't gotten into that car first, you probably would've done it."
Danny thought about that for a few moments, but said nothing, not willing to admit that it was probably true. It still didn't excuse Martin's actions and the fact that he'd scared Danny so badly. "Still," he went on, "You scared me. When that gun went off I thought…" he trailed off, swallowing hard, turning his head slightly to the side, no longer able to meet Martin's eyes.
He felt gentle fingers on his jaw and Danny turned back to face him again. "I'm sorry Danny," he said softly, fingers moving slowly across his cheek. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Danny only nodded and tightened his grip on Martin, leaning forward again to press his forehead to Martin's. He shut his eyes and breathed Martin in, relishing the feel of the other man in his arms. But his mind wouldn't let him just completely live in the moment. He had no idea where they stood now. Restless, he pulled back a little and met Martin's eyes.
"Martin," he began slowly, nervous. "I know you and Sam are seeing each other, but…I meant what I said earlier. I…I love Sam, I do, but you…you deserve better than what she's giving you. You deserve someone who's not ashamed of a relationship, someone who doesn't want to hide…" he said, knowing he was rambling slightly. "I wouldn't feel that way," he whispered, hardly able to believe what he was admitting. He couldn't help feeling slightly pathetic, and he wondered if Martin knew just how badly he had shaken him up. He'd never been so nervous and unsure of where he stood in his life…not when it came to relationships anyway. Martin was the exception. The exception that left him bewildered and aching and completely helpless.
"You've felt this way for a long time, haven't you?" Martin asked quietly, voice tender and warm, his hand resting on Danny's neck. Danny nodded in response, nervous. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
Danny shook his head, surprised, his heart beating quickly. "I didn't…I never thought that you'd feel the same," he replied.
Martin smiled and leaned closer, kissing him softly again. Danny sighed into the kiss and tightened his hold on the other man. "We're both fools," Martin said against his mouth. "I never thought that you'd feel the same."
Danny laughed and kissed him again, fingers passing through Martin's hair. His smile faded again after a few moments though and he met Martin's eyes, serious once more. "But Martin…what about Sam?" he asked nervously.
Martin looked down at the ground, a small flash of pain passing over his features. Sighing, he raised his head again and met Danny's concerned gaze. "Sam and I broke up this afternoon," he murmured.
"After you and I talked…and then you and Jack were out questioning some people from Michael's school, well Sam and I had a little bit of time alone. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about what you said, and I…well, Danny I…I had hoped that there was more of a reason for you saying all that," he answered, blushing slightly. "It was kind of a blind sort of hope, but I wanted to try because what you said was right. I was sick of hiding our relationship, and I just…it was like I could finally see clearly, and I knew that neither of us was happy. We wanted different things and we both deserved something better. So I told her that and we…well in the end it was kind of mutual."
"So you guys are…over," Danny said slowly, feeling slightly dazed. He was sure that he'd wake up from a dream at any moment. He'd been smitten with Martin for so long, had wanted and needed him…but he'd almost resigned himself to the fact that he'd never get what he wanted.
Martin smiled and cupped Danny's face in his hands. "We're over, and we were never really even…I don't know, entirely serious," he said softly. "I've always wanted…well, you," he said, blushing now. "I just never thought that you'd…"
Danny laughed and wrapped his arms tightly around Martin's waist. He kissed him brightly and Martin smiled warmly in return. "So basically, if we hadn't been such damn cowards we could've had this figured out a long time ago," Danny said.
Martin laughed along with him and nodded. "It appears that way."
Danny smiled again, pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to stop any time soon. Of all the times he'd thought Martin, about being with Martin, he'd never really allowed himself the reality of it coming true. He pulled Martin against him and kissed him again, deeply, running his hands up and down his back. He felt Martin tremble against him and press closer. "So, Jack said we could just go home," Danny murmured against Martin's lips.
Martin nodded, blushing deeply. "Yeah," he said, voice low.
Danny smiled and hugged Martin tightly, pressing a soft kiss to his neck and just holding him for a few more moments. "Good." Reluctantly Danny let him go and got back into the car. As they drove back into the city Danny snuck glance after glance Martin's way, catching his eye several times; neither of them could stop smiling. He knew their relationship wouldn't exactly be simple, but Danny knew it'd be worth it.