Fear, wrath, strength…1/1
Summary: At least he feels something. And as derogative as it is, it gives him the strength to stand and take down the s.o.b's
Characters: Dean, mention of Sam, John etc (gen)
Pg13 – pottymouth!Dean warning
A/N: spoilers for IMToD and general season 2. Set around Bloodlust. Sort of in the same style as 'But Not Yet Broken' but from Dean's perspective.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or them boys. Not for profit
Fear, Wrath, Strength…
There are few things Dean fears.
Losing control, losing his family – hell, he'd already lost two of them – being lost, left alone, in a world that was dark. In a world where he couldn't escape the shadows because if he did then he'd be a coward. It was he's responsibility, for just knowing what was out there, to march each and everyone into hell, to end their misery, to put them to rest, to protect the unsuspecting and blissfully unaware…
He had known from an early age, reconfirmed when his dad had whispered into his ear back at the hospital all those months ago, that if he tried to escape the shadows, feigned normalcy, then those things in the dark would only just come and find – hunt – him. And Sam. Lead them back out of the light.
Sometimes he feared for Sam. He feared he'd lose him – to death or to the darkness. It didn't really matter which, to him at least, because they meant the same thing. It set off and triggered the same reaction within him.
'Cause that fear led to a fierce resolution. It made him stronger. It made him able to stand, when all was left of him was devastation and a fast crumbling hope of finding an end and a saviour.
It left him to be able to stand and take down all the sons of bitches that dare cross his path or his own ravaging wrath.
It gave him the hope that he would be able to stand, toe-to-toe and face-to-face, to the demon and say 'hell no, motherfucker' and slay the thing before he even got within breathing distance of his little brother. It was never going to happen. Not on his watch.
Fear and rage he could live with – it reminded him that he was alive, that he still breathed, and that if he at least felt something then not all of him was dead on the inside. And maybe, just maybe, if he saved Sam, he'd find the saviour from his own darkness that threatened to engulf him whole and send him falling into the precipice of his own dark hell.