Utter Madness: Off The Chain

Silent Ravencroft


Chapter One: The Button

It was a peaceful day in Titans Tower. This meant that it was considerably boring. All the Titans spent their time doing different things. Raven read books, Cyborg banged his head off the wall, Starfire stared off into space, Beast Boy picked his nose in the corner, and Robin wandered the halls of the tower.

He had been wandering for a long time, looking at the floor when he suddenly ran into a wall. No, wait, I lied. It wasn't a wall; it was a door.

Robin had never seen the door before. It was completely blank to you and me but because Robin had microscopic vision(we all no that…)he could make out three words carved into it.

"Do not enter. Okay," Robin read only he pronounced it more like 'Dough Note Eintair'. Then he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Oooh! Dark," exclaimed Robin. Everything was completely dark. It was darker than being in Beast Boy's stomach 4,000 fathoms under the sea at night. In other words, it was really dark.

Then a light clicked on in the center of the room. It hung over a big, red, blinky, button. Robin gasped like a little girl and ran over to the button. The first thing he did was sniff it. It smelled like unsalted peanuts and Charles Dickens. Then he stared at it. He stared at it for an hour.

In that hour Robin learned that the button blinked 3 times every second, but only blinked two times every sixty-third second. Every 400 seconds (or every 6 minutes 67 seconds) it blinked four times. In addition to that, Robin learned that he could not count past 610.

Finally Robin reached slowly out and was about to push the button when his microscopic vision detected the many germs on the button. He took out his pocket Windex and cleaned the button with the rag he pulled out of thin air.

When the button was clean Robin reached out once more and pressed his finger down onto the button. Somewhere in Louisiana a chickpea exploded. With Robin nothing happened. Robin pushed the button again. Then he pushed it again. He pushed it again and again and again and again and again and again again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again…until his finger hurt and he stopped.

Robin did not know that Louisiana had an abundance of chickpeas or else he never would have pushed that button. Within an hour it was all over the news that Louisiana had sunk into the Gulf of Mexico.

In just a few short hours the United States declared a three-sided Civil War. California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Idaho, Alaska, Washington, and Oregon joined one side and became the Democratic Republic Of Justice (DROJ). The rest of the United States became the uh…The Rest Of The United States (TROTUS). Oh and Maine became Pickles.

In a few minutes The Rest Of The United States began to mob outside of Titans Tower because Robin, the cause of it all, was inside. Pickles was also there protesting because Robin had sunken the largest pickle sanctuary in the world (where the pickles could live free in one acre of land). The Titans were oblivious.

In the common room Cyborg stopped banging his head off the wall and strained his ears for a moment. Then he turned to the closest person to him, Raven.

"Do you hear something?" he asked and got a confused look on his face. Raven shook her head and turned back to her book. Cyborg turned back to his wall.