It had taken Atobe about two hours to finally squeeze himself through the little doggie door that Jirou had in his front door. It had taken an hour and a half to get the doggie to stop attacking him with kissies, a half hour to get it to go back to sleep, and thirty seconds to wake it up again after accidentally stepping on its tail.
After Atobe's 5 attempts to find Jirou's room, and failing ever so miserably, he finally stumbled across the correct one. He opened the door a crack to peek inside, and saw Jirou sleeping peacefully all cuddled up in his blankets with a teddy bear. Atobe smiled, and proceeded to molest Jirou to wake him up.
Mo-lest: muh-lest –verb. 1. To bother, interfere with, or annoy.
(Nice try fangirls)
"Jirou…Jirou, wake up!" Said Atobe has he shook Jirou. Jirou hardly even moved. Atobe shouted Jirou's name a little louder this time and got him to wake up.
"GEORGE WASHINGTON!" Yelled Jirou as he sprung up in bed.
"Close," Replied Atobe "But I don't think George Washington had such a fine complexion as I"
"Ugh, Atobe…go away...it's…what time is it?"
Atobe checked his watch.
"Um… well, somewhere in the world it's at least one in the afternoon." Atobe tried, not willing to tell Jirou that it was 2 in the morning.
"What do you waaaaant?" Whined Jirou.
"Alright that's enough!" Ordered Atobe. "As your captain, I am ordering you to wake up and assist me in fixing an ample problem that started... I'd have to say a little less than a month ago."
"Hm? Oh, you mean Kabaji dating um…who was it again? Shinji? No…Yanagisawa? No, no...It was a girl…Oh yeah! You mean Kabaji dating Seigaku's coach, Ryuuzaki?"
Atobe gave Jirou a gold star for trying, but then he gave him a smack across the face for being a complete retard.
"For Kabaji dating Tomo!" He yelled.
Now, unfortunately, not everyone can be as deep as a sleeper as Jirou. And with all the yelling that Atobe had been doing, it had woken up Jirou's parents. Of course, as any parent would be, they were concerned with the strange noises coming from their son's room. And when they entered, they were even more concerned about their son, seeing as how he and Atobe were sitting on his bed, at two in the morning, and they didn't know that Atobe had come in, and not to mention the lights were out because neither Atobe nor Jirou had bothered to turn them on.
And so they kicked Atobe out, and promised Jirou that they would take him to Church more often.
Atobe stood outside waiting until the light in Jirou's room went out, signaling that his parent's had left, and threw a rock at his window.
"What. Do. You. WANT!?" Jirou whispered/yelled as he opened the window.
"Meet me at the street courts today at 1pm, and we'll finish our little talk about you-know-what. I think I finally have a way to end it, but I'll need your help. Maybe Gakuto and Oshitari too. But they might be too busy with their own…activities. Hm…Contact Choutarou and Shishido and inform them as well, got it?"
Jirou's response to that was a loud snore and a 'thump' indicating that he hit the floor.
Atobe took that as an 'Of Course Atobe-Sama, I will do whatever you say! You are great and amazing! Long live Atobe!' and called it a night.
All in all the meeting was a success. Not only had Jirou managed to remain awake, but Gakuto and Oshitari decided to skip out on the meeting, saving their team mates from having to witness their… public displays of affection.
"Current time: 1:47. Current location: The Bird Watching Center on Some Street. Status: Tomo and Kabaji have signed up and are currently being instructed on what to do and how to do it…damn the instructor is so fugly. Who goes bird watching on dates anyway? At least, not when you're 14 and 12."
"Sir," Said the instructor to Atobe, who was speaking into a voice recorder. "Could you please pay attention? I don't want to have to repeat this, nor do I want to interrupt the group lesson."
Atobe quickly turned off his recorder and put it in his pocket, looking around to make sure that Kabaji and Tomo didn't notice him. He was currently in the debriefing room, or whatever the hell it's called, along with five other people, two of which were Kabaji and Tomo. But, Atobe is no fool; he wouldn't go stalking someone with such a little distance between them without wearing a disguise. If anyone were to look at him, they would never be able to tell that his nose, moustache and glasses were all attached.
Once the instructor was done, they were all given a sheet of paper with all the birds they could potentially see while in the park. Atobe put his paper in his pocket, and used his binoculars (I don't think I have ever written that word before in my life, I mean, I've said it, but never wrote it) to keep an eye on Kabaji and Tomo who were…holding…HANDS. As if they were a couple! The sight nearly made Atobe gag. Actually, it did. Once he was done he continued to watch the two lovebirds (Atobe had already crossed that species off the list). Waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.
"Oh Waldy, this is the most fun date we've been on yet!" Exclaimed Tomo, because she feels the need to state such things.
"Usu" Replied a happy Kabaji.
"Hey, Atsushi dane! I found a bird dane!" Cried Yanagisawa to his doubles partner. Tomo gasped and scanned her list of birds.
"Waldy! I found the Yanagisawa breed!"
Why? Because "dane" is what Donald Duck in Japan says. That's why.
Tomo and Kabaji gave each other a great big bear hug in celebration.
Atobe cursed, the two were too close to each other. He figured this would be the best time to advance.
"Kabaji!" He yelled, taking off his fake moustache-glasses-nose disguise thing. "Go fetch Ore-sama a wild boar from the Mountains of Eternal Youth!"
"Usu!" Saluted Kabaji as he ran off to find a wild boar from the Mountains of Forever Young or whatever the hell it was called, because Atobe's word is law.
"WALDY!!!!!" Screeched Tomo "NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" She turned around to yell at Atobe, because she lacks the little voice in everyone's head that tells you to worship Atobe no matter what, but he had disappeared…
Before she could react, Jirou came running by in a teddy bear costume.
He stopped for a few seconds so that Tomo could see him, then he ran off into the woods.
See Jirou run.
Tomo, being the knave she is, ran after him.
Run, Jirou, run.
After two minutes of running, Tomo ran out of breath and had a cramp in her side so she collapsed to the ground, while Jirou kept running.
Once Tomo had regained her breath and the cramp had subsided, she noticed there was a cardboard box being help up by a stick right in front of her. As she edged closer, because she lacks common sense, she saw that there was a breath mint under the box!
"A breath mint…I could use one of those!" So maybe Tomo isn't TOTALLY brainless after all!
She crawled underneath the box and started nibbling on the breath mint like a squirrel. (Not…TOTALLY brainless, but pretty damn close)
Choutarou and Shishido were watching Tomo, while hiding in the bushes (I swear that's all they were doing, watching Tomo). Shishido pulled the string that was attached to the stick that was holding up the box that Tomo was sitting under, causing it to fall and trap her inside. The two cheered in success, the plan was half done.
Atobe strolled over and elegantly placed a stamp on the box. He had Shishido help him bring the box to the post office, while Choutarou was sent to find Jirou.
Shishido and Atobe had no trouble at the post office. All Atobe had to do was request the package (with Tomo still in it, but the post office doesn't have to know that) to be air lifted to a deserted island, and it was done. Tomo was forever gone from their lives. And the peace that was once disrupted, had returned at last.
Because Atobe's word is law.
LAW DAMNIT! LAW! LAW! LAW!
And if someone defies that law by, say, dating one of his lackeys (or close friends), then, by golly, they should be more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!
"Do not underestimate the power of Ore-Sama!"