IMPORTANT: Okay, I'm only writing this once, so…



Thinking / Emphasis

Author's Note: Okay my friends (if anyone is reading…)! I've decided to start this fic at Christmas since… well it's HERE people! Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah! Hopefully I get lots of reviewers and then I shall be happy. Note that the more reviews I get, the faster I'll update, but I really can't control that, now can I? Oh geez… I forgot… --

Disclaimer: I HATE writing these disclaimers, okay? Don't people already know that Clamp owns Card Captor Sakura? Gosh! I don't intend to own it either, so I DON'T OWN IT!

Hello! This is an A/N edited in by me. The first three chapters are probably the worst in the story. Chapter 15, which I just updated is beautiful. D

Let's just see how this story goes...

On to the story…

Chapter 1 – Discovering Strange Feelings

"Ah! Christmas!" Sakura exclaimed, tossing herself onto one of the seats at the Christmas party for their work place.

"I'm totally psyched!" Tomoyo squealed as she took a seat next to her best friend. "Eriol wants me to spend Christmas with him this year!"

Sakura frowned, her good mood definitely gone. Tomoyo had promised… well sort of… that she would spend this special holiday with her. Perfect, just perfect. Now she would be alone on the day she loved celebrating the most.

"But you promised to stay with meee!" Sakura whined with her most pouty face.

"No I didn't. I specifically said that I promised to try and celebrate Christmas with you," Tomoyo pointed out. "And besides, I've spent Christmas with you for the past eight years. This is only one time."

"Fine," she sighed angrily, "but you gotta come to my house the day after! Especially because of the incident that happened two weeks ago. I need you with me "

"Deal!" Tomoyo agreed, grinning at her achievement.

Sakura shivered as the door swung open. The powerful winds outside blew forcefully into the room as a girl with long, navy blue hair entered. Her head was lifted up high, and was smirking cockily in her tight red jacket with a miniskirt that could be considered as a slutty piece of material. The girl's boots clicked annoyingly while she walked across the room, the snow she'd collect outside falling off of her. She headed towards Sakura and Tomoyo.

"Holy mother of crap, Meilin! What the hell are you wearing?" Tomoyo questioned her in shock of the sluttiness involved.

"For your information, dumb ass, it's called a miniskirt," Meilin replied, taking off her tight red jacket to reveal heavy wool sweater. She sat down next to Tomoyo. "And I ran out of winter clothes to wear."

"No kidding! You have loads of clothes to wear and so I'm guessing you don't do laundry much," Sakura stated, a bit disgusted at her friend's choice of clothes.

"Once a month…"

"EW!" Sakura and Tomoyo screamed in unison.

Meilin opened her mouth to reply before a brown haired, amber-eyed man approached. He casually stuffed his hands into his pockets and flashed the three pretty ladies a charming smile.

"Good evening my beautiful ladies! Enjoying the party?" he asked as her put his right arm around Meilin's shoulders.

"Y-yes…" Meilin stuttered, blushing a deep scarlet that was so heated, a person could feel it from a meter away.

Sakura snorted rudely at her coworker, but decided to be nice since she knew Meilin had a crush on him.

"We're good, Syaoran," Sakura replied, forcing herself to sound sincere, "but we were better before you came."

Whoops! Oh crap… I was SUPPOSED to be nice. Ugh… So much for that plan.

"Hn…" was his 'hurt' reply.

"We're doing fine, Syaoran," Tomoyo said, trying to make up for Sakura's comment. "But… um… do you happen to know where Eriol is?"

Everyone sweat dropped. It was so typical of her, asking about her boyfriend left and right. Sakura was beginning to wonder if Eriol was more important to her than her friends. No… That couldn't be right. Tomoyo was a great friend.

She's not gonna ditch us, she's not gonna ditch us, she's not gonna ditch us!

"Eriol? Oh, he's by the bar. Sort of staring off into the distance. I'm guessing he's thinking about you," Syaoran told her, throwing in his thoughts along with an answer.

Tomoyo blushed and nodded a thanks before scurrying off in the direction of the bar to her awaiting prince.

"Oh god…" Sakura groaned as she placed her head in her hands and shook her head.

"Jealous?" Syaoran asked her teasingly.

Sakura scowled and Meilin blushed even harder. "I don't feel like talking about romantic relationships right now," she growled between her teeth.

Stupid love life. I swear, I'm never going to get another boyfriend, EVER again. Not after what he did…

Flashback: Two weeks ago

Sakura entered her boyfriend's house, hoping to surprise him by getting there early. She kicked off her shoes and went into the kitchen. Sakura headed for the door of his bedroom that was currently closed. Her hand reached for the knob holding it closed until… she heard noises.

It was a horrible noise, yet it echoed in her brain. Disgusting moans and screams drifted their way out the door and into her ears. Sakura wanted it to stop, but it didn't. It continued, never hesitating to show her the noise. Every sound that came through that door was hurting Sakura more and more. She had to make it stop.

Sakura opened the door.

She struggled to keep the tears in her eyes and not let them fall, but the things she was seeing threatened her knees to give out.

"How could you?" Sakura screamed, her efforts useless against the water that streamed down her cheeks.

The man in the room looked up from under the bed covers. "S-Sakura?"

"I despise you!" she hissed furiously, throwing the key to his home at him, hard.

Sakura stormed through the kitchen, knocking various things down as she went. She kicked his coat stand down, unleashing her anger on the thin piece of wood. Sakura put on her shoes and tried to open the door that lead to the outside, but it was extremely complicated with the burning tears making her eyes blurry.

"Sakura, wait!" pleaded the half-naked man coming after her. "It's not what you think!"

"That's what they all say!" she retorted, not looking at the man who just crushed her heart. "We're over!"

"But… please Sakura! You've got to understand!" he begged, putting his hand on her shoulder.

Sakura finally released the lock. She stood for a moment, thinking about what she was throwing away. It would be so easy to forget about this day and she could spend the rest of her life with the man she 'loved.'

"Why did you do it? Was it because I wouldn't get in bed with you?" she asked angrily, her right hand placed on the doorknob.

"I… I…"

"Goodbye Lei, have fun with your slut," Sakura told him as she opened the door.

And she left.

End Flashback

Sakura snapped out of her flashback, paying attention to reality again. She hadn't missed much because all Syaoran was doing was flirting with Meilin. She sighed; she really hoped she wouldn't cry again.

Enjoy the moment Sakura; don't let the past get you down.

"Back with us Sakura?" Syaoran asked, grinning like always.

"No, only with Meilin actually," she replied smoothly.

"Oh, but your dear friend has gone to the ladies room," he explained, attempting to flirt again while pointing at the navy haired girl entering a door. "So you're stuck with handsome little me."

"Handsome? Oh I beg to differ."

"Why is that? Am I too hot for you to admit?"

"You look quite cold. Nobody ever said corpses could talk."

"Only the sexy ones."

Whoa! Sakura worked with this guy for two years and she never knew he could take her comeback skills on. This was really pissing her off. It was a conversation that she just couldn't win. She could certainly say that Syaoran really ticked her off, as he was just about the only male who could make her angry.

Too bad that before she could say another word, a small 'meeting' was called.

"Everyone, please gather to this table!" the party planner called.

"I guess we'd better go then, eh?" Syaoran suggested, already working on getting there.

Sakura frowned but quickly followed after him. She paused for a quick look for her friends and saw Tomoyo, who currently had her arms wrapped around Eriol's left arm, was coming too. Also, Meilin reported to the little get together after exiting the ladies room. Sakura stood with the crowd.

"Alrighty everybody!" the man yelled. "Fellow designers! As our Christmas tradition goes on, we're holding a Secret Santa again this year! Please come up and draw a name! If you draw your own name, put it back and draw another!"

And with that, the man began to laugh crazily.

Sakura waited patiently to get to the large box containing many names. It was too bad that Christmas had turned into this material thing when it was really about things that didn't involve cash. Well, at least she only had to buy one present.

She eventually approached the cardboard box, but there wasn't that many names left. Sakura reached in and pulled out one name. She decided to keep herself in suspense and read it later.

Sticking the unknown name in her pocket, Sakura walked over to the table where Meilin was sitting. Tomoyo had obviously gone off with her precious boyfriend again, hopefully not to the washroom together. Just thinking about that made Sakura feel a bit sick.

"Meilin," Sakura greeted politely while sitting down next to her lovesick friend.

"Hey Sakura," Meilin said back. "I'm a little bit confused right now…"

"Oh really? Well, come on then. Tell me what it is! Shoot!" Sakura commanded, concerned for her friend.

"Um… well…" she stuttered nervously. "It's kind of… about Syaoran…"

"We know you like him, but what else, huh?" Sakura pushed, encouraging for Meilin to keep going.

"I know that… um… you don't really… like Syaoran or anything but…"

"Well wait just a minute!" Sakura shouted, causing navy-haired girl to shut her mouth. "Where did you get that idea?"

"From you…"

"Uh… right…"

"Never mind then, I'll just ask Tomoyo," Meilin replied, reconsidering her choice.

"No! No!" Sakura cried, hoping Meilin would change her mind again. "I'm sorry Meilin, it's just… I want to like him for your sake…"

Meilin gave her a small smile, then looked down. She seemed to be in deep thought, no doubt that she was trying to figure out whether she should tell Sakura of her plans or not.

"Don't worry Meilin, I won't tell anyone and I'll try to help as best I can," Sakura sincerely explained.

"Okay, Sakura, I trust you," Meilin said, smiling again. "You know that I like Syaoran, but I think that he likes someone too…"

"Who do you think?"

"I think… I think that he likes… you, Sakura…"

"M-me?" Sakura asked incredulously. She'd rather have Lei want her back then have Syaoran LI have a crush on her! "Why? Why would he like me?"

Meilin sighed. "I don't understand either, Sakura. I mean, you practically hate him and yet… the way… the way he talks about you…"

Wait just one minute! Syaoran Li TALKS about me? What the hell!

Sakura felt as if time was speed up on her and she was in the middle, struggling to stay on track. Why was this happening? Syaoran liked her, but so what? She didn't have to like him back. In fact, she nearly hated him, like Meilin said. Even so, she still didn't want to hear what else Meilin had to say. It was making her feel awfully strange and tingly for some reason.

"Syaoran, he… tells me things…" Meilin kept going. "He says things to me… like I'm his best friend…"

Mentally begging for Meilin to shut up, Sakura couldn't seem to open her mouth, so she just nodded.

"He tells me that he's been trying to get your attention for months now, but you just ignore him all the time…"

For months now? But, he's never nice to me or anything like that…Something's seriously messed up...

"Syaoran, he never smiles like he does whenever you're verbally insulting him…"

Sakura thought back to her little word fight which Syaoran won last time. He'd been grinning like a maniac, but he was usually grinning like that, wasn't he?

"Because it's the only time you ever look him in the eyes…"

Syaoran's eyes…his amber eyes…

Why do I look him in the eye?

Because I don't like him... I don't like him... Not after Lei...


"But when he looks at me… he doesn't smile, the way he smiles at you…"

How does he smile at me?

"It's fake, because he's only truly happy when he's looking at you, Sakura."

I can't make anyone happy, right Lei?

Oh... What am I thinking...

"And I go numb when he stares at me, or even talks to me…and so it's hard…"

Sakura was feeling nauseous at the moment, and she didn't even know why. Her body was acting strangely, shaking, shivering—it was doing all sorts of weird things. She had to help Meilin though, since she was her friend after all, and that's what friends do. Help each other through hard times.

"I just want Syaoran to think about me, the way he's thinking about you," Meilin concluded quietly, her voice almost a whisper.

Sakura nodded once again. She could barely think about Meilin—or anyone for that matter. But Sakura was going to do what a good friend would.

"Don't worry Meilin," Sakura told her, her voice falsely cheerful. "I'll stand out of your way even if Syaoran likes me! In fact, I'll try to set you two up!"

"Really?" asked Meilin in disbelief. "I thought you would try and go after him once I told you that…"

"No way, go with that jerk? You must be crazy!" Sakura exclaimed, still playing the actress. She didn't even know why she wasn't happy to help her friend.

"I must be," she said, giggling softly. "Thanks Sakura."

"No problem Meilin,"

That was when Meilin waved her goodbye with a huge smile on her face and skipped out the door along with her really miniskirt.

Sakura sighed some more, still confused at her strange actions. She decided to look at the paper in her pocket to see whom she'd gotten to give a present to. Hesitantly, Sakura pulled the folded piece of paper out of her jean pocket. For some reason, she watched if for a while. The thing made her nervous, although it was just a piece of paper. Sakura suspected it must've been the confusion that she had been feeling all evening. Again, sighing, Sakura finally opened the fold and read it carefully.

This year you will be the Secret Santa to:Syaoran Li

Oh no…

Author's Note: Hi guys, just wondering, do you think that this chapter was too long? If so, you can suggest 1000 words +, 1500+, or 2000+ (which this chapter is). So, please review guys! I might kill this story if I end up hating it because nobody reads it!

Come on! Press that little button down there guys!