Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT, chapter titles inspired by Green Angel property of Alice Hoffman.

A/N: Done from Leo's POV, written now I realize for someone.

Chapter 1: This is what I heard.

Something…something was over me…I knew who it was. I had heard the voice before, but at the exact same time it sounded so unfamiliar to me as I turned my head a bit to the side, feeling a sharp sting of pain surround it causing me to hiss out a breath. The voice started again, saying something, trying to sooth me as the feeling of something cold fell against my temple and something….clawed? Some hand raked ever so slightly against my cheek rousing me further.

I tried to look up, to find where I was…all I could was that I was laying down on something soft yet firm and something was over me, keeping me warm, but cool enough to be comfortable. Still my eyes seemed welded shut, I had to force them open even just a crack only to met by what felt like pure blinding light that sent my head spinning. Instantly my eyes slammed shut the little ways they had been opened, letting me savor the shadows for a moment as I tried to think and clear my thoughts.

The voice overhead though was insistent I open them again and remain with them so. Sighing inwardly I forced them open again, inhaling sharply at the pain the light brought with the fiery headache attached to it. Suddenly the voice had an owner as blurry images came in over head and light noise from a hovering device played in the background.

Mortu? I furrowed my brows further as the light finally sank away from blinding to a pulse and the...err…man's I guess face came into focus. His eyes surrounded in pink flesh captivated in concern as he looked at me. Why I didn't understand immieadtly, actually I wasn't even sure where I was, how I got here or…where…where are my brothers? My father?!

Instant panic shot through me as my mind stumbled across these questions forcing me to try to sit up as I looked around ignoring the pain as best I could and finding another dose that hit me half way up. My eyes bulged a bit at what felt like the entire end of a katana hit my ribs and raced up through me ending at the tip of my shell on the left side. It was horrendous to say the least, dizziness consuming my vision.

It wasn't until I felt the metal of mortu's 'hands' grabbing my arms and gently forcing me back down on the bed that I realized I'd started shaking.

"Leonardo! Please you must remain still! Your wounds are very grievous and you must remain still in order for them to heal properly!" he admonished me lightly picking up the apparent cloth that fell and placing it on my head again once I reached the pillow.

"How…the others! Where…are the others?" I suddenly begged, my head was throbbing I didn't understand anything at the moment only that I was alone with Mortu and in pain.

"You're brothers and father are fine, Leonardo. They're alright. We got to you in time, the ship was destroyed but you all made it off. It's alright Leonardo…rest." he was trying to keep me calm for some reason…at least that was good news though. My family was alright. They were safe…we made it off the…wait off the what?

"Ship?" I asked tiredly trying to comprehend everything.

Mortu quirked an eye at me, then gave his head an almost remorseful shake before he began the tale of what had happened. Half way through his words though I began to remember it all and even before he was done I remembered the entire story. Every single detail. Every word, every move, every face, every…betrayal. I remembered.

I was about to beg him to stop when he suddenly did noticing the cold change in my eyes even I could feel. The feeling was like an internal ice that suddenly flowed through me replacing my blood. It was a frightening feeling…yet also a numbing one as well.

"Is the Shredder dead? Are Kari and Chaplin?" I asked, he shook his head at me.

"No, when we saved you, we saved them as well for trail"

I couldn't help the snort and my growl as the memories of my father's scorched body flew into my mind. They could have left them. I told him this…and he looked scarred for a moment regarding me…well they could have! What harm would it have done?

"Leonardo, I understand you're anger…but you must understand that despite what the Shredder has done to you, we are not a war like people. If anything we are peaceful and seek to have justice through trails, witnesses and sound punishments. Not through…"

"He's a murderer what more do you need?" I asked cutting him off a bit, my temper flared that they hadn't left him but instead probably had him on the same ship as my family.

"Yes, but perhaps the others are less guilty than he is. Would it have been fair to let them die as well?"

"Life's not fair." I answered coolly something inside me twitching as more memories proceeded to creep into my mind. I could still hear them even though I was injured on the ship, the first to fall. I could still hear it, I could still hear my baby brother's legs being crushed, I could still hear Donatello's entire collar bone being snapped in half, his knees hitting the ground in defeat; I could still feel Raphael's blood pooling around me a bit as he was thrown by my side, his ribs cracked and arms dislocated. I could still feel the body of my burned father in my arms, apologizing for doing nothing wrong!!

I…I could feel it all.

Mortu was about to respond, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear about how all life was precious. Even that stinking alien's! He must have took that hint when I turned my head and closed my eyes fighting against the wave of emotions to find a calm place. Somewhere, anywhere I could hide in my self to get off this…this unexplainable pain that quelled my heart.

The sound of a door sliding went unnoticed as another utrom entered, giving Mortu information. Who this being was, I didn't care to look at or even listen to until I heard what they were talking about.

"His wounds are healing, but whether or not he'll survive the trauma from them is something else entirely. His form was already weakened and experiencing the blast at close range to the core with open wounds did nothing to help." He explained sighing a bit in remorse.

Mortu shook his head, lowering his voice. A bitter laugh tried to play on my lips, did they really think as a ninja I wasn't trained to hear them?

"This doesn't make sense. Leonardo suffered piercing as well, his entire…" he trailed off leaving me to wonder

"Yes, but at the same time those were both clean cuts as well as only two. His brother suffered a row of them guiding up his chest and almost piercing a lung from the shredder's armor. His arms were also a liability after being dislocated forcing his heart to work harder to get blood everywhere. He's lucky he didn't go into any kind of cardiac arrest." he spoke solemnly and I could feel my heart thudding inside my chest as I matched up wounds with memories…Raph.

Mortu must have sensed I was picking up on this, because he began to usher to other out of the room, saying something in another language to avoid my ears. Heh. So what? I'll learn it, but if something is wrong with my brother they better tell me!

I can feel my hands gripping the sheet tighter with an unplaced rage, so loose and the target it's focused at is most likely going to get off with a light sentence because the utroms believe in peace. Heh, to bad for him I don't.

The alien's locking onto my gaze as my grip tightens to the point it's hurting now. Man even my hands are bruised.

"Will my brother be alright?" I asked before he could answer

"I'm sorry you had to hear that Leonardo, but you shouldn't worry. Your fathers with him, he's in the best hands now. Get some rest alright?"

He didn't answer me! How dare he not answer me! This isn't about me resting! This is about my family, my brother…my dying, little brother…Raph…

"Will he be alright?" I asked again before he turned to leave, my tone left no room for him to do anything other than answer and my eyes were colder than artic waves as they latched onto him. I would not go unanswered!

Mortu sighed, giving his head a gentle shake and my heart skipped thinking he meant no, but his words were neither. "We don't know yet Leonardo. We weren't even sure with you for awhile, the trauma induced by the sword was sever but in the manner it ha…"

"I know how it happened." I muttered coolly silently berating myself at my tone, but from the way he stared at me he seemed to understand nodding and just changing what he was going to say.

"Raphael's however were more…induced from the pressure put on them from the Shredder's body armor. Had his arm not come down as it did then it might have been different, but with force from below as well as the other wounds…it just turned out another way."

"But…" I protested "I saw him! He, he was up talking with us all before the explosion happened! He…he was alive." I wouldn't let him die! He was up!

"I know, we saw that in the last moments you all were. It was most likely from the adrenaline rush that came in during the half conscious period after the wounds. Which is most likely why you were able to get up as well, the pain was raw and it fueled you to the point you were all acting almost…on autopilot, to the point where your minds weren't even truly comprehending the pain anymore only doing what you had to do. Like an impulse if you will.'

"However these adrenaline fits do have their set backs. They enabled you to go on until when you thought it would be you're last, but once past that stage your bodies collapse throwing you into a post-traumatic stage in which your vital organs and immune system are on the verge of shutting down completely and your body temperature raises to a critical level. All of you suffered so terribly from the fever that we weren't sure if that alone would…"

He trailed off, and I was grateful. Coming that close to death must have been…I squinted my eyes shut briefly. We weren't even sixteen yet, I wasn't even totally sure if Mikey was even fifteen. Don had just recently turned fifteen, I can still remember the look on his face when we threw him the party…he had that same wide eyed, happy expression on his face as he got when he made an invention. It was so childish…so innocent.

"I understand this is hard to take in." He spoke almost like a father coming over to me and placing a metal hand on my shoulder. The metal felt cool against my skin, guess he was right about the fever, normally it would have made me feel clammy but now it just felt nice. "But…you did want to know…"

"Can I see him?" I asked without missing a single beat or letting a second of silence pass between us. He looked unsure and was about to say no, when I begged again, pleading with him. He couldn't keep me from my brother could he? Raph was dying. He…he wouldn't…would he?

"Leonardo…I don't think you…"

"He's my little brother." I responded to the unfinished statement. I didn't expect Mortu to understand…but something told me that he did. He sighed deeply giving his head a now familiar shake and nodding.

"Alright. I'll have someone bring a hover chair and help you…"

"I can walk!" I protested, I didn't want a stranger in the room with me.

He didn't even bat an eye at my protest though before calling in someone on his comlink telling them to bring in a chair to my room. I sighed and he gave a light smile in my direction when he was done.

"Sorry Leonardo, but I don't think you want to lapse back into any trauma. That wouldn't help you're brother at all."

I nodded, biting my tongue as a hovering chair resembling a wheel chair on earth, came humming into the room; an utrom sitting behind it on their own hovering vehicles.

It took ten minutes to get me out of the bed and into the chair. My legs felt like jelly the entire way and the shooting pain returned to the point I was asked if I wanted to go still.

I nodded, trying to fight against the headache that was brewing again as I sat down trying not to show how relieved I was to be off my legs. Again they asked and again I answered.

Raph was…I had too.

To Be Continued…

A/N: This story will probably only be about three chapters at the most. I kinda have some writers block on other stuff. Yeah there a reason Mortu understands Leonardo, but that's not gonna really have a purpose in this story you know. Also as I was writing I kinda think it'd be cool to go more into Leo's angst and where it started. We know it started with him failing and Kari (well that's assumed not so much mentioned) But just another thing that could have caused it. This is gonna be the first multichaptered fic I really attempt in first person so it might take longer for updates.

Well thanks for reading

until next time

take care

Be Blessed