It has been exactly three months and one day since I updated this story last. It's really bad, each time I update I say I'll update quicker, but I never do, so I'm just going to stop lying by saying that I'll update quicker, because every time I say that something come up and I can't update for months. Anyway, I HOPE I can update more often, but I'm not making any promises. Here's the next chapter, which is personally one of my favorites so far. If you haven't seen at least one episode of pokemon before, then I'm sorry if you don't really get this chapter. You really should watch at least one episode of pokemon before reading this to get it entirely.




Number Seventeen:

You know you are insane if you want to be the very best, like no one ever was and to catch them is your real test, to train them is your cause. You could also be partially insane if you will travel across the land, searching far and wide for each pokemon, to understand the power that's inside.


Pooh Bear: Why does this tip make me want to break out into song...particularly the original Pokemon theme song?

"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! THERE IS NO YOUTH LEFT IN YOU! ALL HOPE IS LOST!" Gai yelled as he threw a chair at Sasuke. The chair collided with Sasuke, causing him to tumble outside of Gai's office. Gai immediately closed the door once Sasuke was gone.

"FINALLY! I'M FREE!" Sasuke yelled.

Pooh Bear: SASUKE! Wanna hear the next tip?

"No, I want to go home. I've been stuck in Gai's office for three months!" Sasuke screamed as he began walking home.

Pooh Bear: Three months and one day, to be exact.

"WHATEVER! It's still a long amount of time to be cooped up in a small space with an insane jounin who specializes in HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT! And another thin-HEY! IT'S A PIKACHU!" Sasuke screamed.

Pooh Bear: ...Excuse me?

"I HAVE TO CATCH IT!" Sasuke yelled as he reached in his pocket for a poke ball, but none could be found.

Pooh Bear: ...Poke balls appeared in Sasuke's pockets...

"AHA! MY TRUSTY POKE BALL!" Sasuke screamed as he finally found poke balls, "POKE BALL, GOOOOOOOOOO!"

"WHAT THE HE-" the 'Pikachu' began before the poke ball engulfed it. The poke ball shook three times before Sasuke finally picked it up, screaming, "I CAUGHT MY FIRST POKEMON!"

Pooh Bear: do realize that that's Kiba...not a Pikachu...

"IT'S A PIKACHU!" Sasuke yelled as he threw the poke ball and 'Pikachu' came out.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Kiba screamed as he waved his arms around in front of Sasuke, scratching his face accidentally.

"SEE! IT'S A POKEMON! IT JUST USED SCRATCH ATTACK!" Sasuke yelled as he returned Kiba to his poke ball.

Pooh Bear: Okay, okay, it's a pokemon...but it isn't a Pikachu. Call it Kiba, at least.

"How about Kibamon?" Sasuke asked, "He'll be Kibamon the Pikachu!"

Pooh Bear: Good enough, I guess...

"ALL RIGHT! Now that I have Kibamon, I must travel the world to become the very best like no one ever was by catching more POKEMON!" Sasuke yelled as he began running towards town.

Pooh Bear: I guess he's really turning insane now...I didn't even have to do anything for him to think he's become a pokemon trainer...


"KIBAMON! I CHOOSE YOU!" Sasuke screamed as he threw Kibamon's pokeball. Kiba popped out and screamed, "WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?"

"USE SCRATCH ON THAT NINETAILS!" Sasuke yelled as he pointed to this supposed Ninetails. Kiba looked towards where Sasuke was pointing and saw a grinning Naruto.

"KIBAMON! Start with the scratching already!" Sasuke screamed as Kiba jumped into action and scratched Naruto's face. Naruto fell on his knees and held his head in pain.

"POKE BALL, GOOOO!" Sasuke screamed as he threw an empty poke ball.

"SASUKE! KIBA! What are you guys doi-OOOWWW!" Naruto yelled as he looked up at Sasuke and Kiba, only to be hit in the face with a poke ball. Naruto fell over on the ground as the poke ball opened and captured Naruto. The ball shook three times before Sasuke picked it up, yelling, "KIBAMON! WE CAUGHT A POKEMON!"

"Whatever. Can I leve now?" Kiba asked.

"Absolutely not!" Sasuke replied as he took out Kibamon's poke ball and forced Kiba to return.

Pooh Bear: That wasn't a Ninetails, Sasuke.

"YES IT IS! It had whiskers!" Sasuke argued.

Pooh Bear: No, it was Naruto.

"I don't care, I'm going to call him Ninetails!" Sasuke said.

Pooh Bear: Well, I guess that isn't technically incorrect...

"IT'S A SLOWPOKE!" Sasuke declared, interrupting Pooh Bear.

"Hmm? Me?" The 'Slowpoke' asked.

Pooh Bear: Sasuke, I think you should give up on that one. He won't be as easy to catch as the other two you caught. He isn't an idiot like Kiba and Naruto...I mean, Kibamon and Ninetails...

"Don't worry! Ninetails can do it!" Sasuke yelled as he released Naruto from its poke ball.

"HI KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto yelled when it saw its opponent.

"Hello, Naruto," Kakashi said, "Sasuke, what's going on?"

"I'M GOING TO CAPTURE YOU!" Sasuke yelled.

"I think you need more time in Gai's therapy..." Kakashi said as he started towards Sasuke.

"NINETAILS! DOUBLE TEAM!" Sasuke yelled.

" about SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Naruto yelled as he made 9 shadow clones appear.

"GOOD JOB NINETAILS!" Sasuke yelled.

"Sasuke, enough of th-" Kakashi began before he fell over when Naruto hit him in the head with a tree branch.

"POKE BALL! GO!" Sasuke screamed as he threw a poke ball at Kakashi. The poke ball captured him as well, and Sasuke picked it up, proudly exclaiming how he caught a 'Slowpoke'.

Pooh Bear: Wow. Who knew it was so easy to defeat a jounin level ninja.

"The Slowpoke is a ninja?" Sasuke asked.

Pooh Bear: Uhh...sure...hey, Sasuke, why don't we call the Slowpoke Kakashimon?

"Sounds good to me!" Sasuke said happily as he headed into the heart of town. And so, the cycle of Sasuke catching a 'pokemon' and Pooh Bear naming it continued for most of the afternoon.


3 Hours and 19 Minutes Later


Pooh Bear: Okay, I'm sorry Sasuke, as much fun as it is watching you make a fool of yourself, you have to stop catching these so-called pokemon!


Pooh Bear: Well, as of now, you've caught about 68 percent of Konoha's population.

"I NEED MORE! After I get all of the pokemon in Konoha, I will move on to the Sand Village!" Sasuke declared.

Pooh Bear: Ugh, fine, if you won't listen to me, I'll make you stop the hard way.

"Yeah, whatever," Sasuke said as he searched for more 'pokemon' to capture, "HEY! IT'S A POKEMON!"

Neji, who happened to be walking down the street, stopped and looked at Sasuke. He saw a crazed look in Sasuke's eyes and knew that meant trouble, so he began running aay from Sasuke.

"STOOOOP! I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU! I ONLY WANT TO BRUTALLY ATTACK YOU WITH MY POKEMON AND THEN CAPTURE YOU!" Sasuke yelled as he chased after Neji, who was trying to convice Sasuke that he was Neji and not a pokemon.


2 Hours and 37 Minutes Later


"Ugh, I can't find ANY pokemon, and I actually haven't heard from that obnoxious voice in a while," Sasuke said to himself.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" a voice that sounded like Pooh Bear's said from behind Sasuke. Sasuke turned around to see who said that, and he saw...

"ASH KETCHUM?" Sasuke screamed, "But you aren't in the Naruto show!"

"Yeah, neither are any of these so-called pokemon, or this so-called voice you claim to hear..." Ash said.

"Wait...why don't you sound like Ash?" Sasuke asked.

"What do you mean?" Ash asked.

"I've watched every single episode of your show, and your voice DOES sound girly, but it never sounded that girly, and it never sounded that much like the voice that controls my life," Sasuke said.

"That's because the voice that controls your life is controlling this body," 'Ash' said.

"So that's Pooh bear in Ash's body?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah," Pooh Bear/Ash said.


"I'll explain everything after we have a pokemon battle," Pooh Bear said, "Whoever gets 3 victories first wins the battle."

"ALL RIGHT! Bring it on! I have my top 6 pokemon ready for battle!" Sasuke said.

"HOLD ON! If I win, you have to quit being a pokemon trainer. If you win, I'll stop controlling your life. Deal?" Pooh Bear asked.

"Deal. KAKASHIMON! GO!" Sasuke yelled as Kakashi came out of his poke ball.

"GO! GAIMON!" Pooh bear yelled as she threw the poke ball and out came Gai.


"Oh boy..." Kakashi groaned.

"KAKASHIMON! USE THUNDERBOLT!" Sasuke yelled. Kakashi prepared his chidori, and while he was doing so, Pooh bear ordered her Gaimon to use firepunch. Gai did as he was told, and he punched Kakashi while he was vulnerable.

"YES! CRITICAL HIT!" Pooh Bear yelled.

"KAKASHIMON!" Sasuke yelled, but Kakashi had no chance of recovering. Sasuke had Kakashi return to his poke ball, and Pooh bear did the same for Gai.

"WOOHOO! TWO MORE TO GO!" Pooh bear yelled.

"This one will win for sure! GO SAKURAMON!" Sasuke yelled as he threw a poke ball and Sakura came out.

"INOCHU! I CHOOSE YOU!" Pooh Bear yelled as Ino popped out of her poke ball.

"USE SCREECH ATTACK!" Both Pooh Bear and Sasuke yelled at the same time.


"Oh, I HATE YOU INO-PIG! THERE'S NO WAY I'M LOSING TO YOU ANYMORE! I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU DOWN AND I'M GOING TO WIN SASUKE BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO GIVE SASUKE TO YOU!" Sakura began screeching as well. Eventually, you couldn't tell what either of the girls were saying, all you could hear was their high pitched screeches from their voices. It eventually got so bad that Pooh Bear and Sasuke's ears started to bleed, and they had to cover their ears. Just as they were getting loud enough for the entire VILLAGE to hear them, both collapsed at the same time, unconscious.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Sasuke yelled.

"I think they forgot to breath during their screech attack..." Pooh Bear said as she returned Ino to her poke ball, "They should be fine after a few hours of sleep, I guess."

"So who wins that one?" Sasuke asked as he returned Sakura to her poke ball.

"No one, I guess, since they both hit the ground at the same time. It's a tie," Pooh bear said as she prepared to release her next pokemon.

"THAT SUCKS! I thought for sure I was going to win with Sakuramon, but I never expected you to have an Inochu! That's the only other pokemon that ahs a powerful screech attack like Sakuramon!" Sasuke yelled.

"Well, let's start the next match. TSUNADEMON! GO!" Pooh Bear yelled as Tsunade popped out of her poke ball.

"KABUTO! GO!" Sasuke yelled as Kabuto came out of his poke ball.

"KABUTO! Use recover!" Sasuke ordered.

"There is nothing for me to recover..." Kabuto said slowly.

"Oh..." Sasuke said, not sure about what other attacks Kabuto had.

"TSUNADE! EARTHQUAKE!" Pooh bear yelled as Tsunade stomped on the ground, causing the earth to shake. Kabuto fell over and hit his head on the ground, going unconscious.

"KABUTO! You have something to recover now, so RECOVER!" Sasuke yelled, but Kabuto did nothing, for he was unconscious.

"Damn," Sasuke said as he called Kabuto back.

"WOOHOO! ONE MORE AND I WIN THE BATTLE!" Pooh Bear yelled as she returned Tsunade to her poke ball.

"Argh, NEJICHU! I CHOOSE YOU!" Sasuke yelled.

"LEECHU! GO!" Pooh Bear yelled. Both lee and Neji came outn of their respective poke balls.

"LEECHU! USE MEGA KICK!" Pooh Bear yelled as Lee prepared to do a full power kick on Neji.

"NEJICHU! Evade and use doubleslap!" Sasuke ordered. Neji evaded Lee's kick and slapped Lee hard twice.

"Doubleslap again! And again! And again!" Sasuke ordered. Neji did as he was told and slapped Lee until he fell over in pain.

"DAMN! Return, Leechu!" Pooh bear said as he prepared her next pokemon.

"Ha, I finally won one!" Sasuke said as he returned Neji to his poke ball.

"This one will finish you! GO ITACHIMON!" Pooh bear yelled as Itachi popped out of a poke ball.

"ITACHIMON! One of the rarest pokemon there is!" Sasuke yelled, "I'll take it on with my Ninetails!"

Naruto popped out of his poke ball and the two prepared to fight each other.

"Ninetails, use double team!" Sasuke ordered as Naruto made a bunch of shadow clones.

"Itachimon, use fire blast on all of them!" Itachi did as he was told and destroyed all of the Naruto clones, along with badly damaging Naruto.


"That's right. Now let all of your pokemon go," Pooh bear ordered. Sasuke refused, so Pooh Bear ordered Itachimon to knock Sasuke out so they could release all of the 'pokemon' for him.


The Next Morning



"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Sasuke screamed as he fell outn of his bed.

Pooh Bear: I just wanted to tell you that you are one more tip closer to becoming insane.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

Pooh Bear: Just read tip number seventeen in the book over there on your night stand.

Sasuke did as he was told and as he did, all of the events from the day before flooded back into his memory.

"Damnit. What did you do to make me think pokemon were real?" Sasuke asked.

Pooh Bear: I didn't do anything this time, actually.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

Pooh Bear: Yeah, I was surprised, too. I couldn't figure out what it was, but then I got to thinking about your brother and how his eyesight is going bad form using his Sharingan 24/7. So, I decided to see if you were using Sharingan a lot lately. That's why I pretended to be Ash Ketchum, so I could see if you were using Sharingan or not. I couldn't see from above you because you wouldn't look up. Turns out, you were using the Sharingan. Were you using it during your three months and one day with Gai, too?

"Come to think of it, yeah," Sasuke said.

Pooh Bear: That's what it was, then. You used your Sharingan too much, so your eyesight went kind of bad for a short time and you thought everyone was a pokemon.

" HAD to pretend to be Ash Ketchum to do that? You couldn't just be yourself?" Sasuke ask.

Pooh Bear: No, I could have been myself. But then you have to take a long time to explain what I look like in the story and I didn't have the attention span to do that today, so I just said I took over Ash Ketchum's body. Also, it's more fun to take over people's bodies, and it added to the suspense when you turned around to find out who was standing behind you.

"Okay..." Sasuke said as he heard a knock on his door. He went to the door to find three men in white coats.

"Sasuke Uchiha?" one of the men asked.

"Yeah..." Sasuke said.

"GRAB HIM!" a different man said. All three dog piled on Sasuke as they struggled to put a straight jacket on him.

"All right, let's take him to the insane asylum," one man said as the put him in the back of their van.

"WHAT? I'M NOT INSANE!" Sasuke screamed as the van began moving towards the asylum.

Pooh Bear: Don't fight it Sasuke! They only want to help you! Just remember, only 33 more tips to go!

And with that, the bus that was taking Sasuke to the insane asylum faded into the distant sunset.


Well, I hope you like this chapter, even if you aren't a fan of Pokemon! Please let me know what you think of it, and if you have any ideas for a tip to use to prove Sasuke is insane, please let me know!!!


Pooh Bear Is My Hero