I'm sleeping in Youko's arm.

Though, I'm not really sleeping. I'm just being half asleep, and thinking and trying to ignore the pressure on my stomach due to the hand running through my hair.

I was developing feeling for Youko.

THAT ISN'T GOOD, CHILDREN.

We all know as well as I do, the only reason that he is even HALF interested in me right now is because there is no one else around.

He'll find himself a nice little demon girl one day named something wierd like...MIST of Midnight or Dragon or Flare like in those stupid fanfics that I use to read and ride off together to the "deep crimson blood color sunset of the Makai sky"..

...right.

NO!!

That will suck.

HARD.

Because...because...

Even if this is forced on him...even if he think he is in love with me..

I want it to stay like this a bit longer.

Just a bit.

I'm not selfish...am I?

"I know you're awake. You can open your eyes if you want, lover", Youko purred.

My cheek instantly blazed at the word "lover". The only person who have called me that before was Kurama...

"..why didn't you tell me earlier?!", I growled, pushing him away, trying vainly to cover my embaressment.

"You're cute when you're like this.", he laugh,"Do you always blush when you 'sleep'"?

NO...I wouldn't have to fake sleeping if someone wasn't being so cute...

...and someone wouldn't be so cute if they didn't just got in trouble..

...AND THAT CERTAIN SOMEBODY WOULDN'T BE IN TROUBLE IF THEY DIDN'T GO AND BLEW UP SOMETHING...

...but then again, that certain somebody wouldn't have blown up anything if I didn't give him permission.

Yeah. So it all just go back to Sakura's fault.

GAWD. I hate myself.

"You and Kurama need to be able to work out something. This changing back and forth thing is giving me a headache", I sighed, burrying myself in Youko's shirt deeper.

"No", he answer bluntly.

"NO?!".

"No", he repeated, smug,"I like this. This make it more, EXCITING."

"You're an idiot", I grin."But atleast until we can work this changing things out. I guess we SHOULD include you in our Chrismas party plan".

Youko look down at me from his dizzying height and gave a heart stopping smile,"Chrismas? Tell me about this Chrismas thing of your".

Ok. Chrismas is a bit redundant in this household. But I guess I should explain why.

Almost everyone here is a hardcore Buddhist, including Kurama, excluding Hiei and myself. Genkai is a total Shintoist. Botan, Hiei, and Koenma shouldn't even have a religion...

And I'm agnostic.

So WHY are we even having a Chrismas party?

I have no idea. I guess we just love the idea of uniting on a day together. Everyone have been so busy lately...it seem like we haven't even talk at all.

And that suck, man.

Before, we were like, the happy little anime Brady's Bunch. And now its like "No thank you. We all actually have a life, Sakura, we don't need you".

"Chrismas will be fun", I said, half to myself,"It will be fun because everyone will be here."

Youko laugh when he realized that was probably all I'll say about the party, cause, frankly, I have NO idea how this will turn out to be honest. Hiei will be here. And that wouldn't be too awkward. I wouldn't say he is overprotective of me cause I'm me...I'd say it just because I'm Kurama's "woman".

Hiei doesn't exactly want his best friend to ever feel bad, so he start growling at me whenever I even LOOK at another man.

JESUS.

My boyfriend isn't the jealous type but apparently his BEST FRIEND had to be.

I'm nervous. I don't know what I can get.

Kurama is easy to get stuff for.

Get him a rare plant seed or something bookish and he'll freak. And he is KURAMA. So as far as stuff that I get for him, I can get him a purple spotted pair of sock and he'll still be estastic and we'll still end up making out in the closet after the party.

But Youko...

WHAT DO YOU GET YOUKO?!

I don't even know if I SHOULD get him something.

And I don't wanna buy him stuff he doesn't NEED. And sex toys seem suggestive, specially after the whole "waking up in the middle of the night, spazzing out because I was being fondle" fiasco...

AND I'M BROKE.

Yes, children. Sakura is actually POOR.

P O O R.

I have a job. But its not a fun job. No, I'm not spy/assasin/ninja/stripper. Nah. I don't have that kind of skill.

And I didn't inheret like, $insert big numbers here from my family. BECAUSE, my family doesn't even live in this world and had their memory wipe clean of ever having me. Isn't my life wonderful?

And I don't WORK for Koenma. Nah. Don't have the attention span to do anything like that. No, my REAL job is a lot more...humble.

--------

"Welcome to Cyclo. Can I take your order?"

"Sakura!! I didn't know you work here", Keiko squealed, clapping her hands together.

I laugh nervously, pulling on my ao dai, the uniform that I was forced to wear while working in this Vietnamese restaurant. Yeah, apparently, these little pho places are the newest hot thing in Japan...

"I LOVE VIETNAMESE FOODS!!!", Botan squeaked,"Can you get us an employee discount or something?".

"Botaaaaaaannnn", I whined,"Nooooooo. Please don't make my boss mad. I need this job, Chrismas is coming up. And I need the money to buy present".

Botan and Keiko nodded.

They're going to get me kicked out of here. I just know this.

I might as well apply for Hideki's Teriyaki Bars and Grill across the street just in case...

Suddenly, my cell phone started ringing like crazy.

"Hello?", I answered.

"Sakura? Hey. Its Yusuke. Are you at Cyclo right now?"

"Yusuke? You bastard. You haven't came home for like days, and now you and the future Mrs. Urameshi decide to both harass me at work on the same day?! What is it? If I'm getting fired, your present is the first to go off the list".

You can pratically FEEL the pout in the background.

"WHAT?! I can't call one of my friend without it seem like I'm harassing anyone anymore?! GAWD Sakura. Ok, no. But Koenma, or more rather, his little sweatshop worker orges finally figure what is causing the changes, so we just tried testing it on Youko and it worked!!"

I was getting impatient. MONEY off the clock here, man."That is wonderful. But how does this tie into me?! I'm WORKING. Yeah, you know. Cause like, NOT EVERYONE on the planet hunt ghosts and participate in tournament for a job..."

"Noooo!!!", Yusuke yelled,"THIS IS SO COOL!! JUST WAIT!!! We'll be over in like, a minute, ok? YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!!".

And with that, he hanged up.

I look at my phone in disbelief.

I look at the two waving moron sitting at table 8.

I stared back at my phone.

This is turning out to be quite a day.

---------

"Ok...what?", I asked, barely containing any of my DISDAIN of anyone at that moment.

Kuwabara snickered. Yusuke laugh. Hiei scowl.

WHAT WAS GOING ON?!

Poor Kurama look so embaress there, I almost wanted to come over and hug him..but then I'd be in throwing distance of those morons and I'm controlling myself too much to do anything right now.

"This is so COOL!!", Yusuke grin,"Ok. Sakura! Go over here and kiss him"

"...excuse me?"

"KISS HIM! Plant a big one! Right there. And some tounge too if you can manage. Ok?"

I frown.

WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS WAS GOING ON?!

"Just do it, woman", Hiei growled."This is stupid. You're wasting my time"

I shook my head, counting quietly to ten.

MY FRIENDS ARE MORONS.

I walked up to Kurama, muttering an "I'm sorry. They're forcing me" before kissing him on the mouth.

I INTENDED IT TO BE A SMALL ONE.

I swear!! I did.

Like, an "I haven't seen you in a while, let just have a small kiss cause our friends are forcing us to kiss!" kiss.

...but it sort of turned into a.

"LETS BE PORN STARS AND PRACTICALLY HAVE SEX ON THIS BENCH RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW" kiss.

"...its been a minute", I can hear Kuwabara whispering to Yusuke on SOME sort of direction away from us,"When are they stopping?"

You couldn't even HIDE the glee from Yusuke's voice if you wanted to,"Wait for it".

I was ignoring them, of course.

Can you blame me?!

NO! Of course not.

Hands was sliding over hips. Mouths met hungrily together. My hands was grabbing his hair almost desperately, it was scary that I didn't rip any hairs out.

I slid my hands through his hair...until I got to his...

EARS?!

WHAT THE HELL??

Furry ears?!

I pulled away, flushed.

And sure enough, the person who I was molesting turn out to be Youko. Wow...you know, I should have gotten used to this by now.

I turn to Yusuke, speechless.

I pointed to me. I pointed to Youko. I pointed back to me.

WHAT WAS GOING ONT?!

Yusuke cleared his throat and stood up,"OK! See. Here is the thing. Youko and Kurama switch back and forth using what I, Yusuke Urameshi, will now dub the 'love gene'. Whenever...-"

"...They change whenever the other get aroused", Hiei cut in.

OH MY.

"Waaaait. Y-you're serious?!", I stuttered, embaress beyond belief.

That would explain a lot of things...but ok...wait a minute.

"Wait. Yusuke, how did you get Youko to change into Kurama in the first place?", I asked, half not REALLY wanna know what happen,"Don't tell me you kissed my boyfriend".

"No stupid", Yusuke laugh,"I just showed him your old school uniform".

Youko grinned behind me,"It was nice. You should wear that sometime".

..."NO".

I want the nice one back...!!

"I want to test this theory out", I smirk, letting my fangirlness setting in. Hey, its not everyday you have a chance like this. I pulled on a clump of silver hair and leaned in a clamp my mouth on his. Then I snuck in a couple of gropes for good measure.

"Oh jeez. Maybe we shouldn't have told her this", Kuwabara mutter, half hiding behind Yusuke.

Ehehehe. Poor, innocent Kuwabara.

"Sooooo. Now that the insane one is gone..maybe we could get this changing situation straighten out", I said after pulling away, reavealing a lightly flushed Kurama.

"Yeah.", Kurama nodded, tugging on his hair, trying to eaze his blush down,"I think I have a solution for this."

----------------

I HATE LIFE.

I HATE IT!!!

Hateithateithateit!! GODDAMN ME AND MY BIG MOUTH!!! DAMMITDAMMITDAMMIT!!!!

"I don't like thiiiiiisssss", I half screamed into my pillow.

I WAS BY MYSELF. YES. I was sleeping by myself.

I am not happy, can you tell?

Apparently, when a guy try to not THINK about anything, he end up THINKING about it even more then if he didn't THINK in the first place.

...so that is the reason why I was booted out of my own room...

Kurama offered me our room, and he'll take the guestroom. But that would probably hurt even more...so I refused. But now I'm sorta regretting my decision.

I don't like this room. It smell wierd. It smell CLEAN. Too clean.

The is too hard. The place is too unfamiliar...and when I stretch out on the bed, I could barely touch the sides...

I've spent nights by myself before. But never like this. Never by myself with him just down the hallway.

It hurt.

I miss him so much.

Does he miss me too?

BOOM.

OHmyjesus!!!!! There is a thunderstorm outside too.

I HATE THUNDER...and LIGHTNING.

BOOM.

"Ekkk!!!", I squeaked, hiding under the cover even more, clutching to my half of the pair of stuffed fox that I gave Kurama 3 years ago.

Do you think he is in his room holding the other half?

Thinking about that sort of gave me some sort of resurance.

BOOM.

"HOLY SHIT!!!", I squeaked again.

Ok...maybe not...

Thunders are scary, OK?!

This is so pathetic.

I wish I was stronger. I wish I was like one of those girls who can take on anything, and is fearless, and know everything and does everything.

But I was lost. So lost.

I don't know what I'm doing!! I don't want to be by myself like this.

BOOOOOM.

I'm crying.

This is so pathetic.

I'm sitting here, clutching to a stuffed fox, crying.

THIS IS PATHETIC.

I'm sitting here, by myself, in a big bed, by myself, CRYING because of a thunderstorm.

"Kuraaaamaaaa", I wailed,"Kuramaaa. Kurama". I repeated his name like a mantra. Over and over and over again. As if that was going to be of any help right now.

Kurama...

I don't wanna be by myself. I don't wanna be WEAK.

But I am...!!

"Sakura?", a voice came out somewhere in the room.

"Hmmmm?", I...eh...replied from inside of my make-shift fort made out of the blankets.

"Sakura...", the cover is pulled off from me by a strong hand. Kurama look at me (I think. Its dark, ok?) and pulled me up in his arm,"Sakura..".

"I'm sorry", I mutter into his shirt.

"Come on, baby. Let's go". Kurama kissed the top of my head and started to lift me to our room.

"...I'm fat. Put me down. You'll break your arms...", I said, though, not really resisting him at all.

"Don't be stupid."

"Ok..."

When we got to our familiar room, Kurama ploped me down to the bed and climb into the cover.

"What happen if Youko show up in the middle of the night?", I tease,"We all know how much of a closet pervert you are".

Kurama laugh,"Then I guess you'll just have to do what you did today again".

Hehehe. My boyfriend is a total pervert.

BOOOM.

"Ohmygodohmygod", I yelp, diving into Kurama's chest, shaking.

"Suuuush. Its ok", Kurama crooned, rubbing my back gently."Its ok. I'm here. Don't cry."

We did this often. Because apparently, almost every single bad guys just had to have an effing thunderstorm following by a maniacal laugh followed by an ass-kicking session by Yusuke to completly be a REAL badguy.

I would always be huddling in a corner. Grabbing the nearest, preferably not sharp, object and hugging it. Muttering about how weak I am comparing to the guys who are actually out there risking their lives.

And then Kurama would come, like my knight in shining armor and rescue me...

...yes. He rescue me from a THUNDERSTORM.

That is how pathetic I am.

BOOM.

I buried into Kurama's embrace some more. Though something sorta soft was poking me in the back. I reached down and saw Kurama's half of the pair of fox.

His fox was the more regal looking one. Proud. Four tails. It was definetly Youko-esque. Mine was smaller. Plainer. Grayer instead of the silver color.

"...you were holding to the fox", I whisper, as if saying an important secret to someone.

Kurama put the foxes in between us and kiss the fox in my hand and then me."Of course, I was missing you".

"This plan isn't going to work out too well, is it now?", I laugh.

"No. I think this was one of the worst idea that I ever thought of".

"Oh really? What was the worst idea you've ever had?", I look up at Kurama's eyes.

I missed those eyes.

"Thinking that you were going to leave me for Youko".

Awwwwwww.

"And here I thought that you were the smart one out of us", I sighed and snuggle in closer still until I fell asleep.

You know, maybe thunders aren't as scary as I thought they were.