Author's Note: Yeah, I know I should be working on Until We Meet Again, but I keep hearing this song on the radio, and not only am I in love with it, I just see it as Bella's thoughts during her "zombie" period. Please review. :D –S

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.. I also do not own the song "What Hurts The Most".

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I couldn't believe it. After everything, he just left me. The gloom of Forks seemed to take over again, the gray clouds were no longer welcoming. They were a symbol of the past. A past that I would never be sure actually happened.

I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again
I pretend I'm ok but that's not what gets me

I knew I had to try and be normal. For Charlie at least. I knew he was worried about me. I also knew that it would be hard to move on. Perhaps I would never move on.


What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
Not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

I wanted him back so badly. I would have given anything. I still wasn't sure exactly what it was that I did. I didn't remember saying or doing anything that might have made him want to leave me. Maybe I had made him angry? I wish that he still wanted me.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see your old friends and I'm alone

Everyone at school is going a little easier on me. Teachers seem to call on me less, and students are understanding that I just don't want to talk. I know they all just want to ask if I'm alright, but I just keep walking by.

Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed
Dealing with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade
Give away
All the words that I say
Through my heart that I left unspoken

Maybe if I had only done something different…maybe if I were stronger, or braver. Maybe I was simply a burden to him this whole time.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
Not seeing that love in you
Is what I was trying to do

Is what I was trying to do
Oh wow oh wow

I guess I would never be sure. I knew I still loved him, no matter what anyone else would say. I had to know that he was safe. If he existed, that was good enough for me.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
Not seeing that love in you
Is what I was trying to do

Is what I was trying to do
Yeah...
And never knowing
What could have been
Not seeing that love in you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most.