Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo, Zelda, or any of the charectors therof.

This is just a bit of silliness I came up with one day when I was bored.


Nintendo has requested that I write my bio. I must oblige because my contract requires me to say, "How high?" on the way up, before they ask me to jump.

My name is Ganondorf and I am the King of Evil. "Bwuhahaha!" I'm big, and I'm strong. When I was born, everyone knew I was special. NO, NOT THAT KIND OF SPECIAL! Look, only one male Gerudo is born every hundred years, so I'm kind of a rarity, Okay?

Anyway, now you're probably wondering how I came to be in the first place. Well, let's just say it's the duty of the sole Gerudo male to increase the population. (heh heh heh)

This might come as a surprise, but, outside of video games, I'm not really evil. Due to short budgets I have to share a room with Link and Talon, and if you want to talk EVIL! I'm talking about Link. Talon's okay, except that he talks non-stop. Link on the other hand is a prime example of total Jerk. He thinks he's better than everyone else, just because he's the "main character." The worst of it is Nintendo encourages him! They pamper him even more than they pamper Zelda! In fact, they're so concerned about him, I won't be surprised if they edit this entire paragraph out for fear of ruining "Fairy Boy's" reputation.

When I was in college…

Actuly I never grajuated hyscul. However, I wuz vote homcoming qween my seenor yeer. My intrests ar gossip, sowing, and shoping. If yu wont my number,

Ganondorf: Umm… Link, what are you doing?

Link: (hides pencil behind his back) Oh, just checking your bio for grammar mistakes.

Ganondorf: Weren't you the one who couldn't pass tenth grade English?

Link: (laughs nervously) Uh… yeah. Well, I guess I'll just give this back then.

(Link hands Ganondorf the paper and runs out of the room.)

Ganondorf: What was that about?


A/N: Well, what do you think?