Yagami Soichiro definitely had doubts about the whole 'son being handcuffed to another guy 24/7' ordeal, but if that was the only way he could convince a certain very stubborn detective that his son, as proven many, many times before, was innocent, then he was more than willing to go on with it.

Though, he still had his doubts…

Now, anyone who had spoken to him for more than two minutes would have come to the undeniable conclusion that Yagami Soichiro was a righteous, straight-as-pencil man; a man that probably hadn't touched a cigarette in his entire 40-something life, a man who followed the rules to every minuscule detail. In fact, a number of officers under his command were convinced that he had gotten his wife pregnant by following a step-by-step instruction booklet.

Contrary to popular belief, however, Yagami Soichiro wasn't exactly…well….ignorant of all those little…..facts of life. He simply, unlike most of the loud-mouthed, secretly-drunk-every-Friday-night police officers, did not feel the need to go about blaring things that were…unnecessary. A trait that was rare indeed in the department in which he worked in, well, used to work in. One of the many things he did not miss after he handed in his resignation letter were the frequent not-so-secret discussions of...say… so-and-so's eye-popping chest size.

And to think they actually have a mass murderer on the loose.

So yes, Yagami Soichiro was grudgingly aware of what the perverted, mind-in-the-gutter civilians he was fighting to protect would automatically assume if they spot a handcuff linking two men together in public. It was a particularly dubious train of thought he'd rather not follow. But, like any decent man, he squelched out any protests from the back of his mind and convinced himself that it was for the good of the Kira case.

Though, he still had his doubts.

And, apparently, for a good reason, as it was to be proven on one fateful day.

It was one of those dreary days that were spent sifting through countless documents that had probably nothing to do with the case and the only reason they were going through those documents at all was to convince themselves that they were actually doing some work. But as Ryuuzaki said, even if there was a 1 percent chance of finding a lead, they should pursue it.

Judging by what the team had gathered so far from those documents, 1 percent was the understatement of the year.

After going through some pointless reports on contributions Yotsuba made to various orphanages (and for some odd reason, a TV crew was somehow always present whenever a donation was made), Soichiro decided to make himself a cup of much-needed coffee. Stretching, he stood up and walked towards the small kitchen that was probably devoid of anything that was not likely to cause diabetes. Thank goodness he had purchased a few packets of instant coffee just the other day. It was probably the only thing in the kitchen that wouldn't give a dentist a non-Kira-induced heart attack.

As he reached out to push open the door leading to the kitchen, he heard voices coming from the said room. And as Aizawa, Matsuda and Mogi were still hunched over their computer desks, seemingly hard at work (Matsuda was apparently taking a message for somebody on the phone), by process of elimination, the people currently in the kitchen had to be Ryuuzaki and his son, Raito.

Now, it was perfectly legally, morally and ethically acceptable for two males to have a conversation in a kitchen. That was the train of thought running through Yagami Soichiro's head, before he heard something vaguely disturbing:

"Ok, I'm going to pull it out, alright?" it was unmistakably Raito's voice.

"No! Not yet!" Ryuuzaki's voice was somewhat muffled.

"I know this is uncomfortable, but if I don't pull it out, it'll be even more unpleasant, for the both of us," Raito's voice was low and soothing, though laced with a hint of impatience.

"I'm sorry, Raito-kun, but please, leave it in there for a while," Ryuuzaki gave an uncharacteristic whimper.

As Matsuda set down the phone, he was the first to notice the rather frozen way the chief was crouching in front of the kitchen door. Curiously, he walked towards Soichiro.

"Um, Chief?" he began. "I have a message for Ryuuzaki from-"

"Shhh!" Soichiro held up a finger as he listened intently once more, his face unexpectedly pale.

"It hurts," Ryuuzaki whined from within the kitchen.

"I thought you said you were ready for this!" Raito replied, rather accusingly.

"What are they doing in there, Chief?" Matsuda asked, tilting his head innocently. Soichiro shot him a dark look, which our dear, innocent, naïve investigator failed to comprehend.

By now, Aizawa and Mogi had joined the party in front of the kitchen door. All four men leaned in and listened intently.

"I thought I was ready," Ryuuzaki gave a hiss of pain.

"Well, we can't turn back now," Raito grunted in a low voice.

"Oh, dear Gods, I feel blood dripping out," Ryuuzaki moaned, faintly.

"You mean they're-!" Matsuda gasped; his eyes suddenly widened in shock.

Aizawa and Soichiro glared at him in unison.

"I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki, I'll try to be more gentle," Raito murmured, apologetically.

"They're-!" Matsuda gaped, his mouth hanging wide open. Aizawa gritted his teeth in exasperation. Mogi simply stared silently, eyes wide in shock.

"I'll see if I can push it back any further," Raito muttered. The four detectives heard a flurry of movements and then, a yelp of pain from Ryuuzaki.

"Don't!" he panted, still in the same oddly muffled voice.

"But-But-!" Matsuda had obviously not mastered the art of being shocked in silence.

"This is my first time, you know," Ryuuzaki hissed in pain.

"It's my first time doing this too," Raito replied in a gentle voice.

"-B-But- we-we eat in there-!" Matsuda said, in a strangled voice. Soichiro suddenly developed a twitch in his eyes. Aizawa cuffed Matsuda in the head and peered anxiously at Soichiro, who was turning from pink to red to white to dark maroon in rapid succession.

"I'm pulling it out now, Ryuuzaki," Raito said, patiently. "I'm going to do it quickly, alright? It'll hurt less that way."

"Oh, alright," Ryuuzaki moaned. "Be gentle, please?"

"Trust me," Raito whispered, so softly that the four men outside had to strain their ears to hear it.

"One, two, three-!"

Simultaneously, Raito gave a loud grunt, Ryuuzaki gasped in pain, and there was a loud squelching sound.

Bracing himself, Yagami Soichiro threw open the door with so much force that it rebounded twice before settling down again. Unprepared, Aizawa, Matsuda and Mogi fell forward into the kitchen. They scrambled to their feet and stared at the scene before them.

Ryuuzaki and Raito were both slumped against chairs, sitting opposite each other and both fully clothed. They stared curiously at the gaggle of very embarrassed men standing before them. Ryuuzaki was clutching at his mouth and Raito was clutching a single tooth in his right hand.

"Wha-?" all four men were blinking in confusion, identical deep red blushes on their faces.

"Ryuuzaki here was told by his dentist this morning that he had a bad tooth," Raito explained, smoothly. It was as if he was simply revealing a new lead to the Kira case. "He chickened out in the last minute and sprinted out of the clinic. Then, he got worried that his bad tooth would hinder his….sugary endeavors, so he begged me to pull the tooth out for him."

As if to prove what he just said, Raito held up the tooth.

"You wouldn't trust your dentist either if the five patients before you ran out screaming bloody murder," Ryuuzaki rubbed his jaw, sullenly.

"Oh," chanted the four men in unison, ever so articulately.

"What on earth did you think we were doing?" Raito raised an eyebrow, staring sharply at the four fidgeting men.

"Oh, um," Soichiro stared at the ground, guiltily. Then, he brightened and exclaimed cheerfully, "Matsuda! Didn't you say you had a message for Ryuuzaki?"

"Oh, yeah," Matsuda said in a blank voice, still slightly disorientated. "Your dentist called, Ryuuzaki. He called to apologize and to inform you that he had made a mistake about that bad tooth. It was perfectly fine after all."


Hands up those who had dirty thoughts! LOL! Review!