AN: I don't own Naruto, I don't care what you people think.

True, I am supposed to be working… A hell of a lot of other stuff, but yeah. This here one-shot is based on true events… Sort of. It is a compilation of ideas I got from the happenings between myself and a guy at work, Dane Cook's 'Creepy Guy and the movie Office Space. Then I filled in some things, (Like the Romance) And this is what happened.

Deal with it.

WARNING!!: OOC this is an alternate universe and… Pretty much a piece of crap. Possible mind reading, some boy on boy action, and several threats of turkies. Merry Christmas to all and a Happy Late Birthday to Anorexic Morals, finally finished your one-shot:D Also, this was totally unbetad... Yeah, so look out for that.


Neji froze as Kiba stopped talking mid-sentence. He and his fellow co-workers, Kiba, Sasuke and Shino only had one thing in mind, and it wasn't the party at Kiba's that they had been talking about, that took place the day before on Sunday, no, the only thing on their mind was getting the fuck put of the break room.

The reason for this was Sabaku no Gaara, the creepy guy. Really, to say creepy would such an understatement! His skin was pale, horribly pale with a tint of green to it. He had black bags around his eyes and looked like he hadn't slept for weeks. Then there was the hair, it was bright red and everyone decided after a while that it was natural, because his roots never showed a different color.

He was really skinny too, not skeletal… But he still looked damn unhealthy.

Gaara never talked to anybody, nobody ever wanted to talk to Gaara. The very presence of him made everyone want to run.

Obviously people had a morbid fascination for him. Especially one thing… the pocket. Oh yes, the pocket, with various pens of different colors, of different sizes. No one knew why he needed all those pens; Lee had always suggested Gaara probably just kept them in case he needed to write… A lot

His sea green eyes glanced over at them, noticing their very indiscreet staring and he walked over to the coffee pot that was right next to Neji and poured a cup for himself. The Hyuuga gulped, but proudly being the calmest of the bunch tried to edge away from the redhead inconspicuously. Unfortunately, a certain chain of events caused this plan to fail.

At the moment Gaara walked in, Sasuke had decided he had been on break long enough and had waited till the green gaze was off of them to try and push Shino out of the way. However, Shino hadn't known what the Uchiha was doing and shoved him back. Sasuke hit Kiba who had just been picking up his foot to take a step towards the door, and was knocked off balance into Neji.

The end result was the usually graceful Hyuuga, tumbling to the side, right onto Gaara who was holding a cup of piping hot coffee.

The standing three stared at their friend, who was lying on the redhead, both of them soaked and burning down the front with coffee. Kiba was the first out the door, then Sasuke and finally Shino. None of them wanting to see what kind of creepy power Gaara had, although there was a betting pool going. Neji felt he was about to find out first hand, his money had gone to the ability to read minds.

Gaara glared up at him, "Get off of me"

Neji didn't jump, but his heart skipped a beat. His voice matched him perfectly, it sent shivers down his spine and Neji was sure he was going to hear it late at night, telling him it had candy underneath his bed and then he would check and-

"Get off!"

His thoughts were interrupted by the force from two hands which shoved him onto the ground. Neji looked up as Gaara stood and began to dab at his wet shirt with a napkin, grumbling under his breath.


He was met with a glare again, but forced himself to remain strong, "Come on. I have a few extra shirts in my cubicle in case I end up staying over night or if Kiba needs a change…" He trailed off, unsure of why he felt the need to go so deep into explanation.

Gaara stared at him, those cloudy green eyes nearly freezing Neji where he stood. But slowly, ever so slowly, he nodded.

Neji led the way back to his cubicle and opened a file drawer. Inside were several white T shirts, two of which he pulled out. He handed one to Gaara and began to unbutton his shirt.

He started at the sound of rustling material and turned. He had expected the redhead to go back to his own work space or possibly the bathroom to change, but it seemed that the other did not have such thoughts.

Neji's eyes widened as his gaze fell upon a pierced left nipple. He began to look down and saw frighteningly pale skin stretched over visible ribs and then down to a pierced naval. The Hyuuga unwittingly licked his lips, when the white shirt blocked his view. He looked up and saw Gaara raising an eyebrow; at least, he would have been raising an eyebrow… IF HE HAD ONE!

"Do you normally sit around half naked when you work?"

Slowly, white eyes blinked and looked down at their own body. Of course, while Neji had been staring he had forgotten to put on his own clothes. He hurriedly pulled the T shirt on and answered, "Sorry, I just couldn't help but notice… Uh, how unprofessional…" He had been planning on a slight jab but stopped pathetically. Now he really hoped Gaara's power wasn't mind reading.

"Hn, I keep them covered. No one's noticed my ears or my tattoo"


Gaara stepped closer and for a moment Neji thought he was done for. However, he just pulled some of his shaggy red hair away from his ear and Neji saw three holes in each earlobe. Then Gaara moved his hair from his forehead and there, inked with red into his skin, stood out a very obvious tattoo of 'ai'.

Neji brushed his fingers over it lightly, "You're right, no one noticed it… How long have you had this?"

"Since I was six" Muttered Gaara hesitantly leaning closer.

"Hey Neji! Are you back yet?!"

The Hyuuga jumped at Kiba's voice and retracted his hand. He stared at Gaara, 'He was… kind of cute for a second… Oh shit! He's looking at me!! MY BET WAS RIGHT! HE'S READING MY MIND! Oh God, I mean… um, Gaara, if you're reading my mind, say something in French'

The redhead did the same gesture of raising his lack of eyebrow, then turned around and left. Seconds later Kiba's head popped up, "Neji, we thought you were dead for sure!"

Shino's head came up, "I don't suppose you found out what power he has?"

"… I'm pretty sure it's mind reading"

It was something new, Gaara wasn't sure if he liked it or not. All he was able to think about was that guy, smell the scent of the shirt he had been given, and ponder over the way he had been gazed at, though only for a moment.

Gaara chewed his lip as he stared at Neji from his spot near the window. The Hyuuga was talking to one of his friends, saying something about dumping some girl named TenTen. Which was good in his book, especially considered the tightening of his chest whenever he saw the pretty brunette with snow white eyes.

He wanted to talk to him so bad, but he knew what everyone at the office thought of him. It was high-school all over again, only with adults who didn't know they were being so immature.

Neji wouldn't ever be interested in him, not when they even ran betting pools because he supposedly had some sort of powers. Gaara hadn't been sure what to make of that.

But that was beside the point, he knew he was staring at this person, who had actually been the first to talk to him like an actual person, and now… He wanted… Something.

"I'll talk to him"

Neji scowled at his co-worker and friend Sasuke. They were once again in the break room that morning, a full week after the incident with Gaara. The Uchiha had just finished teasing him for the apparent stares and looks he had been getting from the redhead.

"So what happened?"

Neji sighed, "I just gave him a new shirt because he spilled coffee on his"

That was the truth, but still, most people were beginning to talk. Gaara had been seen openly staring at Hyuuga Neji every day whenever he was in the Sabaku's line of vision. Another betting pool had been opened, everyone trying to decide the reason.

Sasuke personally had his money on Gaara looking for the right time to kill him.

Shino and Kiba said Neji probably threatened Gaara, and now he was watching the brunette warily.

Then, the custodian, Naruto had his money on the last theory.

No one but him bet on it, because of the complete and utter idiocy of it. The Uzumaki had bet his money, that creepy, weird, frightening Sabaku no Gaara, had a crush.

"When you die, can I have your CDs?"

Neji growled and punched him in the arm. It possibly would have escalated to a fist fight, like it often did, but the entrance of the very object of Neji's current fears interrupted him.

Gaara didn't bother to look at him, until he had poured himself a cup of coffee. He began to sip at it idly, staring at Neji as he did so. The Hyuuga tried not to look back, but found he was unable to resist. Sasuke stayed in the room, more out of curiosity of what would happen, rather than concern for his friend.

Gaara finally finished his coffee and rinsed the cup out in the sink. He placed it on the counter and turned fully to Neji.

"…" He opened his mouth, and then closed it. Both brunettes raised their respective eyebrows and Gaara took a deep breath and opened his mouth again, "… Good morning Neji"

Sasuke flinched at the voice, 'Sweet Jesus his voice really does match the way he looks in creepiness…' Gaara glanced at him, 'OH NO! Was Neji right about the mind reading!?'

The redhead's notice of him was brief and then it went back to the Hyuuga. Neji's eyes softened, Gaara's head was tilted down and he was looking up through his eyelashes.

Then, Neji noticed something that probably no one had ever noticed before because of the huge amount of black always around the green eyes but, 'He has long eyelashes'

"Good morning Gaara" He said managing not to squeak, 'Please don't hurt me'

The redhead did an odd small shake of his head that somewhat resembled a nod and looked like he was about to leave but then he paused, "How… Um, how was your weekend?"

Sasuke looked frantically at Neji who blinked and made a face as though he were eating something without a taste and was desperately trying to decide whether he liked it or not, "It was fine, how was yours?"

"It was ok"

Sasuke poked Neji lightly in the back and Neji responded, "Oh… uh, that's good"

"Would you…"

The Uchiha and the Hyuuga looked at him.

"Uhm, would you, will you… I mean would you like to…"

'He's dead' Thought Sasuke

'I'm dead' Thought Neji

"Would you go to lunch with me?"

To say that the other two were shocked and surprised would be an understatement, to say that Sasuke was a complete moron, would be hitting the nail on the head.

"You eat?!" He gasped

Gaara looked at him with a small, obviously annoyed and confused frown, "Huh?"

"Don't you have something to type?" Hissed Neji shoving the Uchiha away from him. Sasuke sputtered something incomprehensible and left in a hurry to tell Kiba and Shino what just happened.

Neji looked back at Gaara who was looking a little pinker than usual, "I…" Gaara was already looking away, no doubt already guessing he was going to be rejected. "I, well" Though Gaara stood still as a statue, but Neji could almost see him fidgeting uncomfortably.

"I'd love to"

Gaara's head jerked up, "You would?" His voice didn't sound surprised, only the same as usual. But those widened green eyes that just about lit up like a Christmas tree were more than enough, "Yes, I would, where would you like to go?"

"There's… A sidewalk café around the corner, it's kind of expensive, but the food is really good"

Neji smiled at the shy tone, "Sounds wonderful"

Neji rubbed his forehead, "I'm trying to focus, and it's hard enough that I've had the Hell scared out of me, but you people are going to get me fired"

Naruto, Kiba, Shino and Kiba were all in his cubicle, bombarding him with questions. At first he had tried to answer them, but it had gotten old, fast.

"You won't get fired; Tsunade wants to know what's happening too. By the way, she expects a report of lunch on her desk tomorrow morning" Said Kiba, leafing through some papers.

Neji stared at him, "Please tell me you're kidding"


Gaara picked at his food while Neji refrained from scarfing it all down like Chouji. Lunch had cost twenty dollars for both of them, but it really was delicious. 'Maybe he's trying to fatten me up so that he can eat me. Or maybe he decided he no longer wants my presence and I'm going to disappear before lunch is over, OR MAYBE HE HAD THE FOOD POISONED!!'

"So Gaara," He said, trying to keep his mind from wandering too much, "If I may ask, why did you invite me out here?"

Gaara frowned, "Because… I wanted to thank you for last week. Um, I forgot to bring your shirt today, but I will have it tomorrow"

Neji shivered, he was positive he would never get used to that voice.


"Yes Gaara?" 'Don't eat me, don't eat me, and don't eat me'

"I… How do you feel about me?"

Neji blinked, 'Are you sure you don't want to eat me?', "I, well, I never thought about it" He took his napkin and wiped his face, "I think…" 'Crap, what are the good things I think?!', "You're very cute"

Gaara was staring at him, his eyes were rounded and wide and his cheeks had flared to a dark red. Neji gulped at the sight, he really could be cute.

The Sabaku looked down, "Really?"

'Oh dear…' "Yes", 'Don't do something stupid'. He reached across the table and touched the redhead's lips softly, 'That was something stup- Oh shit.'

Gaara's lips were pressed against his. It wasn't the fact that they were kissing that scared Neji the most; it was the fact that he himself had pulled Gaara to him.

"You what?!"

Neji looked at the floor, accepting the small cup of water offered by Naruto, while Kiba, Shino and Sasuke stared at him in shock and horror. They were standing in a walk way between some cubicles near a water dispenser.

"I ran"

Kiba began waving his arms frantically, "Let me get this straight! You kissed him, and then you just book it out of the restaurant and run back here?"

Neji nodded

Naruto snickered, "At least I won the bet"

Sasuke glared at him, "You don't know that! Gaara still could have been plotting to kill him"

"If he wasn't, he probably is now" Muttered Shino, "I can't believe you kissed him. That's something to add in the report"

Neji hung his head, "You guys realize I'll have to quit," He groaned, "I'll have to move away, change my name, grow a beard and then shave it off"

"Or you could just explain things to Gaara" Suggested Naruto as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Neji raised an eyebrow, "Explain what? How?"

"Lie" Once again, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But he reads minds" Said Kiba, "Oh by the way Neji, your bet one you six hundred dollars"

Shino scowled, "I still maintain I saw him walk through a wall once"

"WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC!" Growled Neji, "What town should I move to?"


They looked up as Ino came bounding around the corner, "Gaara is coming upstairs! And he looks disgruntled!"

A look passed between each member of the group, before the sound waves of the blonde's voice soaked into the ears of the office. There was a moment of silence, a singular scream, and then everyone ran for a cubicle, hoping to hide under a desk. Neji himself hid with Naruto and Sasuke, it had gone quiet for about twenty seconds, when the door opened.

Gaara blinked as he stepped into the office. There wasn't a person in sight, no sound of typing, no chatting on the phone, and no music from Naruto's blaring headphones. Nothing. He took a few steps in and heard faint breathing.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw a leg underneath the first desk and sighed. 'Their stupidity has just gone to a new level'

He began to walk down the little aisles, "Where's Hyuuga Neji?"


He looked back over his shoulder to see that Neji had just gotten kicked out from under his desk. He looked over at Gaara and smiled nervously, "uhh"


He began walking again, this time towards the door, with Neji following. He pushed the button and the two doors opened with a 'ding'

Neji went in first and then he stepped in as well. The doors closed and Gaara pushed the 'stop' button. He turned to the Hyuuga, "Why did you run?"

'I was scared' "I don't know"

Gaara frowned, "Look I know what people are saying about me"

'Yeah! And it looks pretty damn true' "I don't know what you're talking about"

"It's not true though!" Gaara stared up at him pleadingly

"Shino said he saw you walk though a wall" 'I know Gaara"

The redhead stared at him, "What?"

"… Huh?"

"What about Shino"

"He has nightmares about you at night" 'I don't know what you mean?'

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Growled Gaara, grabbing the Hyuuga's collar and slamming him against the doors.

"Oh no! I'm saying what I'm thinking and thinking what I'm saying!" 'I'm sorry Gaara I didn't mean it'

Gaara twitched

'AAH!!' "AAH!!" Neji took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, I don't really know what happened just now" (AN: A bit of Author insanity)

Gaara tilted his head to the side and released him, "Can we get back to what I was trying to say?"

The Hyuuga nodded

"Good" Gaara licked his lips, "Ok, what people are saying really aren't true, you do actually know that, right?"

"… Uh… Yeah?"

Gaara frowned, unconvinced, "Well, I like you Neji, and I was thinking-."

The doors opened and Naruto poked his head in, "NEJI! ARE YOU OK!? Oh! Hi Gaara… Um…"

The two stared at him, "I uh… I'll go now" He leaned out and the doors closed, "THEY'RE MAKING OUT!" He yelled and they then heard a series of groans and the exchange of money.

Gaara shook his head, "I was thinking… Maybe we could, you know, do something" He looked away and Neji blinked at him.

Gaara was cute, he knew that. That was something he knew… Ok. But Gaara scared him, like a lot, like shitless. He might not mind going out with Gaara, but what if it came time to break up or something. What if Gaara wanted to move in with him? Sudden possibilities become known in Neji's mind and a blanket of fear swept over him and numbed his body. Then suddenly, all at once, the choice at hand was in the front of his brain, and then a question: What will he do if I say no?

He looked at the redhead, "You mean like sex?" SHOOT! That wasn't what he meant to say! Ah… Crap.

Gaara stared at him, face red, eyes wide, mouthing gaping, "Uhm… I g- Yes"

Neji nodded stiffly, "Cool, we can… Do that… Maybe talk about pens"


"Yeah, in your pocket, we can make a day out of it. You love pens, it just so happens I love pens. Inks, caps, colors, I love 'em" He really needed to stop, his body was running on autopilot.

Gaara nodded slowly, "Yeah… I keep these pens around because I like to draw while I'm working"

I could make some money off that info… "Oh" He awkwardly touched Gaara's face with his palm, "So… We're an item?"

"Yeah" The Sabaku grinned and Neji forced away a whimper as he was kissed. It was enjoyable, it was just a little bad when Kiba exclaimed that he didn't believe it and opened the doors to reveal their little scene to the whole office.

'I never did that report'

AN: there will prolly be a sequel XD Uhhhhhhhhh….. Yeah. That was pretty much just a bunch of stuff that just happened in my head. You all can deal with it.

Sorry, no lemon, the Sequel will have one. Probably more of a plot too XD RIGHT! I'll go work on the other stuff now… REVIEW!