This isn't something I can very easily explain…no. Whenever I try, the words just seem to vanish when the time is right. I'm no good with words. None of them can fit what I have to say. No matter what the word is, it's something stronger. No matter what the language of the word, it's something more beautiful. I can find no words to fill the empty space that needs definition.
He's no help at all either. I say go, he stays. I tell him to stop and still he persists. How am I supposed to know what to say when all the right words just fade away in his arms?
But when he kisses me…that's the absolute worst. It's like time is suspended, the world stops spinning, my mind stops racing…it's only us…it's only…well…perfect. A feeling like this, can it happen to some one as tainted as me? Can it be possible that these are in fact, not my kisses at all, but they belong to some one else? Could Soubi be thinking of Seimei when his lips collide with mine?
Even if they are Seimei's I'll still take them as if they are mine to take. I'll still want them even if they aren't mine to want. Sometimes in my mind I pretend that all of the beautiful Soubi belongs to me, and for those few moments it seems like that world isn't so terrible after all. However, the crashing reality hits whenever the kiss is over…Am I only meant to take the place of Seimei?!
For all the strangest reasons, these thoughts disturb me. It never fails, my hands begin to shake and I get more upset than usual if I think this way. If I think the way I do right after he kisses me…he knows it.
I steal a quick glance from Soubi who is staring me down with gorgeous blue eyes. He hasn't said a word for a while, he's just been watching me. The look on his face is one of worry or like he's afraid…maybe both?
"Ritsuka," he breathes just before I turn away blushing.
"What's wrong?" Soubi asks standing up to caress my face.
"Did you love Seimei?!" I blurt out on accident.
My hands cover my mouth. I didn't mean to say that! Stupid Ritsuka! Why did you say that?! Soubi looks completely taken back, as if he had no idea I was thinking like this at all. I cast my eyes down ward, and shut them tightly. This is my attempt to shut out the world.
Out of the blue I can feel his strong, warm hands pull me into his body. I fought it though, not wanting to give in. There were no hits, no orders, no words to make him let go of me. Through all the yells and curses all Soubi does is hold me. Just when I thought that he was going to let me go, his lips surrounded mine in a passionate kiss.
"Does that feel like it was for Seimei?" he asked holding onto the sides of my face with fierce intimacy.
The truth was, "No," my voice came out weak and tired.
I needed more…so much more than what I can get. My body ached and yearned for every inch of him.
My hand shook, but this time for a different reason. I wanted him, so badly it hurt. This unknown feeling that my hands, heart, and skin had grown to know so well…became stronger with every kiss.
"I don't love Seimei…and I never will," Soubi finally spoke as the tension built up in my body.
"Uh-huh…" I'm at a loss for words again dammit…
How can I say what I need to when he's robbed my words? What I lack in words maybe I can make up for with kisses?
"I love you Ritsuka," Soubi tells me.
I am unable to control myself any longer…I somehow pin him to my bed and kiss him deeply, kiss him passionately, kiss him like my life depends on it. My hands cup his face and the kiss is deepened with our tongues dancing within the corridors of our mouths. The moment is made perfect when I hear small whimpers fall from my lips and strong groans from his.
We break with a gasp of air, and Soubi pulls me into his chest.
I whisper, "I love you too," gentle enough to where only I can hear it.
A/N: So how did you guys like it? I'm wondering who I should write about next...I'm thinking Natsuo or one of the Zero girls, what do you think? hmmmm...well, critique is always welcomed and so is love! Oh! I also wanted to open up the doors for the contest. Whoever can translate the titles of the chapters, the next chapter will be dedicated to you written about the character you choose! So have fun! with that!