Note: The fun drabble things that just come to mind while you're at work and waiting for someone to answer a question for you. Yet another story that came out all in one go, and again, all in dialogue. Well, I thought it was funny!
Poor Katsushiro... the expression that keeps coming to mind as I read this is something about 'making a shovel your tool of choice for getting out of a hole.'
Have You Ever...?
"Shichiroji-dono... do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Sure, what's up, Katsushiro?"
"Um... I know that you and Yukino-dono aren't married... but have you ever... um..."
"Have we ever what?"
"Well... you know..."
"Is that a blush I see?"
"It's not funny, Shichiroji-dono."
"Oh, yes it is. When you think about it, the whole thing is kinda messy, awkward, embarrassing, you get hair in all the wrong places..."
"I'm almost sorry I asked."
"Don't give me 'nothing', 'nothing' doesn't have you blushing like a radish."
"I think you're right, Kikuchiyo, our young friend does look uncomfortable."
"It's nothing, Gorobei-dono. I'm fine, really."
"Katsushiro was just asking about what all young men's thoughts turn to in springtime..."
"It's autumn, Shichiroji-dono."
"That's not the point, Katsushiro."
"Ah, so Katsushiro has the ladies on his mind! First time, I take it?"
"Apparently so... they get younger and younger each year, don't they."
"Do I have a sign over my head or something? Nasami-dono said the same thing."
"You actually propositioned Nasami?!"
"What?! No, I would never-"
"Wow, Katsu, I had no idea you went for older women."
"Did someone just say that Katsushiro asked Nasami-dono to-"
"NO, Heihachi-dono, it's NOT how it sounds..."
"Well, she is pretty, but I'd have thought that Kirara was more his type."
"Not to mention closer to his age."
"Gorobei-dono, I never SAID that Nasami-dono and I-"
"Good thing, too, she might have killed you for that."
"But she is kinda pretty... something about that combination of woman and warrior could definitely be considered almost sexy... hey, Kyuzo, would you say that Nasami is sexy? Whoa, hey, put the sword away, man... What's his problem, anyway?"
"Maybe it's that you have all the tact of a rock, Kikuchiyo-dono."
"What's to be tactful about, rice man? Either he thinks she's hot or he doesn't... I mean, hey, I wouldn't pass up a chance with- would you STOP pointing that sword in my face?!"
"What has Kikuchiyo done this time?"
"Sensei, would you please ask them to leave me alone?"
"Do I even want to know why?"
"They won't stop giving me a hard time about... well..."
"It's not our fault that Katsu gets all embarrassed just because he's a v-"
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!"
"And he has a crush on Nasami-dono, apparently."
"No, I DON'T, Gorobei-dono!"
"Why else would you have asked her to-?"
"I DIDN'T ASK HER TO DO ANYTHING, HEIHACHI!"
"Ah, hoping for her to seduce you... yeah, that can be fun, too, you know."
"Shichiroji, I don't think you're helping matters."
"Since Kyuzo won't tell us what he thinks, Kambei, you tell us - you think Nasami's hot?"
"OW! Kyuzo, if you hit me in the head with that sword one more time, I'm going to wrap it around your neck! Kambei thinks she's hot, but I don't see you hitting HIM!"
"I never said that, Kikuchiyo..."
"Now you know, sensei..."