How the Sociopath Stole Christmas
A Parody of How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Note: I don't think that people in the Avatar-verse would celebrate anything close to Christmas, and I can't do Yule/Winter Solstice since not everyone is familiar with that holiday. But I was watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and remembered I did a Winx Club version last year. So here's the Avatar version.
Summary: Every year the citizens of one small Water Tribe town have the nerve to celebrate a holiday that pisses off Azula. One year she gets fed up and decides to take matters into her own hands. AU OOCness and maybe some pie.
Disclaimer: Christmas, that special time of year where people gather around a dead tree in the living room and eat things out of their socks.
Dedication: My wonderful readers no matter which holiday you celebrate.
Once there were citizens in a small Water Tribe town who celebrated Christmas so loud it made a certain lightening bender frown.
It could be perhaps that her forehead was too wide. Or maybe it was the rumor that her hair was really dyed.
But the real reason, the citizens whispered with hesitation, was because that bender was Azula, princess of the Fire Nation.
But whatever the reason her hair or her forehead, the Fire Nation princess really wanted those merry makers dead.
Staring out her window and watching people brawl, Azula thought of the reasons she hated Christmas most of all.
"They'll take out their gliders, their dual swords and air balls. It'll be so loud in here that I'm sure the ceiling will fall!"
"They'll start with their bending, those pathetic girls and boys and they'll give my guards head aches with that noise!"
"They'll play with their Sky Bison, winged lemurs and turtle ducks. Those things are so loud I'll die with any luck!"
"They'll play with their boomerangs, their war clubs and sitars. Their horns and their drums! All that noise, noise, noise!"
"Then they'll all get hungry and have a large meal. Eating various foods with such zeal!
They'll take a hog monkey and turn it into a beast, that is one food I can't stand in the least!
And then they'll do the thing I hate most of all, they'll get some instruments together and join voices one and all. Those idiots will get together and they'll start to sing, along with that sky bison who has bells to ring.
For many long years I've put up with it now, bringing on migraines with a pow! There must be a way to stop Christmas from coming, but how?"
Then the princess got an idea…an awful idea. She got a wonderfully awful idea!
She decided to make a Mrs. Claus hat and a coat.
"Oh this is sheer brilliance!" She exclaimed with a gloat.
She measured and cut and cursed as she sewed. Since that psycho was out of practice and the going was quite slow.
Because her hair was the wrong color, Azula bought some white dye, but it would be worth it to watch those losers cry.
When she was done she gave the fabric a pinch "This." She declared. "Is worthy of the Grinch."
Azula paraded around her room and striking a triumphant pose, announced she'd be rid of Christmas before the sun rose.
Since she had no reindeer, or even a small dog Azula stole Momo and a large chicken hog.
She loaded up a sleigh with magical sacks. And cackled that soon she'd leave those peasants with just the clothes on their backs.
Upon stopping at the first house near her tower she whispered that "This is a feat that shall make them all cower."
Without using much bending she got everything out, that nut missed some tinsel and tried not to shout. On the walls she left tape, on the ceiling just nails. Come daybreak she was sure there would be nothing but wails.
Nothing remotely Christmassy was left in the house. Not even a small crumb for that darned mouse.
This routine continued all through the night. It's really surprising she finished it all before light. Stealing things stealthily through all the houses not even leaving a crumb for the other mouses.
At the last place she nearly cheered with glee, "The only thing left to move is that stupid tree."
A little ball rolled into a room, where Avatar Aang was sleeping cheeks in full bloom.
He came out and asked in a small voice "Mrs. Claus, what have you done with your husband? And what are you doing with our tree?"
Being one who liked to brag, Azula deftly shoved the Avatar into her bag.
But Aang just bended out, eyes starting to glow, "I think you have my lemur." He wanted Azula to know.
The princess drove away with Aang riding on top, speeding along and getting sprayed with slushy slop.
'Rounding a corner Azula got quite a scare, to find her brother Zuko was standing right there.
The banished prince growled and began to fire bend at that witch while yelling, "Give me the Avatar you bitch!"
Azula tried to run, but Zuko caught up with his enemy old. I have no idea who won, but this is how the story has been told.
Zuko was good at hitting and kicking. But Azula was known to excel at eye spitting.
Some time around noon when neither could budge, they began to grow tired of their grudge. I heard they were soon dragged their separate ways, and may be friends even to these days.
I hope you like it. As I said before last year I wrote a Winx Club based one using Icy and Musa. I got inspired again tonight and decided to use Avatar as my backdrop. Please review. And Happy Holidays. Chibi Horsewoman