A/N: Hey guys 2nd day of christmas, Yay... Oh all I want for christmas is tv show rights... hhhmmm. Anyway Yeah I own nothing... nothing I tell you! Oh so wrong... Cheers!

Also up next is Charmed. Cole/Leo...


The real enemy can always be met and conquered, or won over. Real antagonism is based on love, a love which has not recognized itself.

Henry Miller

Did you know that the average going price for a cop on the black market is 37,000 dollars? Of all the things I known and all the things I'm sure I'll ever learn, I'm almost certain that that one will stay as the strangest. Not because of what it is, but rather why I know it.

Most people when they visit another country come back with pottery or a rug, or one of those obnoxious t-shirts. Not me though, I suppose my curse is that I always have to be subversive and do my own thing.

Though I suppose at this curial point I should remember that most people don't vacation in places like Liberia and Sierra Leone either. Neither of which are known for there t-shirt production. Also I'm not really vacationing either, I'm here on business, which considering I sell illegal arms to third-world countries thus enabling all the bloodbaths they could ever want to have… I suppose it's not really a shock that I would go abroad and buy an Interpol agent.

No, the shocking part wasn't the buying either; I'd never bought a person before, not on moral grounds; I'd just never had the want to own one before.

The hole in the wall bar I was in; that I did a lot of my dealings in when in Liberia was known for marketing human misery. So I'd seen plenty of it, was seeing plenty of it as the hostess led me through the back rooms to my meeting.

The shocking part was finding Jack Valentine for sale in the dirty back rooms. The agent was unconscious and cuffed, naked and on display like all the rest of the merchandise this place happened to be offering. Which; was everything from half starved 13 year old girls to… well 40 something Interpol agents.

Jack Valentine, last I'd heard was riding a desk and I'd found myself staring down at the pale body wondering what the hell the other was doing in Liberia… Later I'd find out he was there to bust me, but what else was new. Really I should have known at the time that nothing else would drag him from the office these days.

They say your birth is a mistake you spend your life trying to correct… I'd like to think that if I hadn't been drunk and high at the time I would have done something contrary to the aphorism. I'll never really know, at the time I was too drunk to consider the motives I may or may not have had. Why out of all the dozens of god forsaken people there did I have to decide to play knight in shining armor for Jack? Now that I'm sober enough to realize the possible implications and don't want to consider it. In my shoes you wouldn't either.

I know what you're wondering and you need to get your mind out of the gutter. I may have brought an Interpol agent before brokering an arms deal but as previously stated… not the want to own a person. So no, I didn't keep him, I had him collected by his fellow officers… How is a long boring story, I of course kept myself out of the official equation, I may have more lives than the average cat but it's never a good idea to wave your arse at chance, that tends to lead to getting randomly fucking spanked by the universe… so to speak, or so I've found.

Like right now for instants I'm standing on a ship, my ship, because on this occasion it happens to be safer than flying. I have paperwork; I have enough weapons on broad to supply a small army, which they will. Well hidden of course, so Jack Valentine stepping on board doesn't send me into the panic that it did last time. No mad dash to cover things up, everything should be smooth as silk… would be smooth as silk… If it wasn't for the fact that as Jack Valentine walks up the deck of my ship, I can't help but picture him naked and it has nothing to do with settling my nerves.

Okay so 37,000 dollars and you're all thinking it should have been apparent. Well I told you denial is a beautiful thing and now I'll state the obvious, just so it sinks in for me… I'm lusting over Jack-Fucking-Valentine.

No good deed goes unpunished.