Passing Notes – Marauder Style

Chapter One

James

Sirius

Remus

Peter

DURING HISTORY OF MAGIC

Psst! What should we do for full moon?

Um … when is it?

God, Pete, you SUCK!

It's tomorrow.

Right. I knew that.

Sheesh. Look at Prongsie boy again.

The Beautiful Notes of James Potter DO NOT TOUCH OR YOU DIE:

Lily Evans

Mrs Potter

Mrs Lily Potter

Mrs Lily Evans-Potter

MRS LILY POTTER:)

She has beautiful hair I wouldn't have it any other way, she is my darling, I want her to be my girlfriend, I want to smooch her beautiful lips she is gorgeous

HEY!

Sorry, Prongs, but you have heaps of grammar errors. For instance, 'she has beautiful red hair. I wouldn't have it any other way.' You really need to pay attention in class more!

I do.

Yeah, paying attention at Evans!

How did you know?

I have my ways.

Which basically means he can read your mind. Plus, we're your best friends and notice that every class you do the same thing.

And what is that?

Duh.

You look at Lily.

Since when have YOU been on first name terms with her?!

Since I became prefect.

And when was that?

Two years ago.

I knew that!

Sure.

Um … has anyone noticed I haven't been saying anything?

Pete – it's WRITE, not SAY. We're not exactly talking, are we?

Peter … why did you say that? You ruined a very captivating conversation.

Sirius? Did you just say CAPTIVATING?

Well, yes, my dear sir. Remember your last dare? To read the dictionary without fall asleep and memorising everything in the 'c' category? Classy, eh?

I prefer the stupid Sirius.

Sirius isn't stupid! All the girls chase him!

snort. Sorry, but they chase Padfoot because they're stupid too.

PADFOOT YOU COCKY LITTLE COLLYWOBBLE! PAY ATTENTION!!!

I am.

God, Sirius, you ARE stupid. You can't call someone a 'collywobble'. There's no such word!

Yes there is.

Well you must have a distinct type of brain damage then. It's called STUPIDITY. There's a word called COLLYWOBBLES, but not COLLYWOBBLE.

Whatever.

Um, guys? If you didn't notice, the bell rang.

Crap. I forgot to take notes.

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DURING TRANSFIGURATION

Okay, Prongsie, my lad, let's play truth or dare.

I never say truth. Dare!

Coolies. I dare you to not look at Lily Evans at all during this lesson.

But …!

Haha, you can't do it!

Yes I can!

Wow. Did James just write he won't look at Lily at all during this lesson?!

Uh huh. I know. I should congratulate myself on this matter.

Okay, my turn. Moony, truth or dare?

Dare.

Okay, I dare you to … put your hand up in the air and say "I have nice buttocks."

NO BLOOMING WAY.

Haha, too late.

Fine. You're gonna die later though.

Wow, never thought you had it in you.

What was that? Sounds like mumbling to me.

I can't believe that I, and that's I with a capital I – have detention!

Ah well, Moony, ask Pete now.

Fine. Peter, truth or dare?

Hurry up Peter. Does it honestly take a minute to decide?

Um … truth.

So Peter …what's one of your most embarrassing moments?

Do I really have to tell?

Well DUH. Oh GOD PRONGS IS DOING THE DARE!!!

Ignore him, Pete. Yes, you do.

Fine. Um … One day, I was picking my nose, well everyone does it –

I haven't since the solemn age of 1.

I don't.

I will NEVER.

I use a hanky.

I use tissue.

I use water.

Okay, what a waste of water.

Shut up. Pete, go on.

Um … alright. So as I was picking my nose, Stephanie Haxon Grace –

That cute bimbo? Yeah? What happened?

For your information, Padfoot, no girl is CUTE compared to Lily!

And for YOUR information, Grace is an extremely stupid and dull and dim-witted nitwit who has a very mean personality. Did you know she is going out with three guys at once?

Yeah, and SO?

God, Padfoot, shut UP. If Lily was like that, I would DIE.

Guys, shut UP. Pete hasn't finished.

Yeah, um, that's right. So, as she was walking past me, I sneezed –

OMG. You didn't get any of your snot onto her?

Um, yeah I did.

So what did she do?

She … slapped me.

Oh dear. Hey, Prongs, don't even try to sneak glances at Evans.

I wasn't … HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Please, Prongs, I know you.

Well, so does Moony. And Peter. And that girl in front of us. I mean, all the girls in the school. And so does the teachers. Like McGonagall. And –

Speaking of McGonagall, she's coming!

Oi. Pete, you should've told us you weren't finished with your iguana. We could have done it for you.

Um … sorry?

Guys, really, do you think Pete's going to improve by letting you two do it for him all the time?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! Moony, that sounded WRONG, dude!

As much as I hate to admit, Pad's right.

Honestly, you guys REALLY have sick minds!

Well, not me, more Pad. But Pete, your turn to ask Pads.

Um … okay. Truth or dare?

Dare. DUH.

Um … any suggestions?

Oi! You can't do that!

Yes you can. If you think you're gonna be let off easiest 'coz Pete got you – no offence, Wormtail – think again!

Pah.

Well … how about we make him go and flatter Professor McGonagall?

Um … HELLO MOONY? HE'S DONE THAT A HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY!

Fine … fine … just a damn thought.

I know! I should be bowed down and worshipped!

What?

Well, why don't we get him to do the OPPOSITE? It'd be soooooooooooo funny if he threw a rat – no offence Wormtail – at her!

Um …? Shouldn't it be a dog?

Uh … WHY?

Yeah, huh? What's so bad about DOGS? They're HOT.

I'm going to ignore that statement. Well, her animgaus form IS a cat, you know!

But … you can't throw a DOG at her!

Yeah, and as much as hate to say it, that's too mean. I mean … she IS a kind of cat.

Yeah, you're right.

OMFG. DID I JUST HEAR MOONY TELL PADS THAT HE'S RIGHT!?!?!?!?!

THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why?

Don't worry Pete. It was nothing.

Then why did Sirius just cough and mutter something?

He's got a cold.

Okay. Bye. Going to pee.

See YOUS pplz.

So let's get back to thinking of a dare for Padfoot.

Why don't we make him … I dunno. How many dares HAS he done?

Dunno. How many times do we play truth or dare?

A lot.

Well, according to my calculations, a lot is a game per day, so therefore, um … I dunno. Let's just say … OH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ASK ME HOW MANY DARES HE'S DONE??

I asked Pete too – oh wait.

Well since Pete isn't in the room since he's out PEEING, I believe that I – 'because apparently Professor McGonagall doesn't trust Peter to get an injury without someone, so NATURALLY Pad got the job – am the only one who can actually answer you.

James.

What?

Don't talk with those long sentences please. It's freaky.

Now you know how it feels.

I'm sorry.

No need to be.

Well, let's hurry up and decide what dare Pad's going to do.

Let's make him fart.

Alright. Especially with all these girls in here. He needs to wallow down some bit.

I'll do the spell?

If you want.

But if I know him, he won't come back.

Uh huh, but fortunately but you, this is a double period session, so he has to.

So … what ARE we supposed to be doing.

Copy down the stuff on the board and transform the iguana into a duplicate of a human.

But we already did that!

Not the notes.

Yes I did.

Really?

Yes.

HOW?

I used my wand.

Oh.

GOODY! Pad's back.

Yo! My wonderful friends … did you miss me?

Yes.

No.

I'm touched.

In the head.

Well, that too.

Pete … we've thought of a dare.

Really? What is it?

He's going to fart.

That's brilliant!!

That's lame.

Yeah, but with all the girls in the room …

Crap.

Haha. Blame it on Prongs.

I blame it on you, Prongs.

Well, not exactly necessary to write that, but let us commence.

Do I get to say it before I do it?

Yes. You must say: "I AM GOING TO FART AND LET OUT A HUGE WHOPPER. HAHA!!!!!! MINNIE, TAKE A SMELL OF THIS!"

Um … okay. Do I get to blame it on you guys?

No.

Oh. Okay.

Well … Moony, we're all in detention with you now! Do you feel happy?

Not really.

AND WHY IS THAT?

Well. For one, you're always in detention.

Good point.

Yeah.

Am I in deten-tian too?

Um … Pete.

We couldn't help noticing …

That you wrote 'detention' wrong.

Is that bad?

Thank god for the bell.

Yeah.

Yup.