Author's Preceding Notes

(Kitty, Lina, Yugi, Atem, Bakura, Ryou, Seto, Joey and Marik are exploring the creepy ruins of an old castle. Ryou keeps jumping at every little noise, whether a door squeaking or a bat flying past them.)

Ryou: (jumps at a rat scampering on the floor near his foot) AH! (grabs Bakura's arm involuntarily in fright)

Bakura: (aggravated) Damn it, you pathetic weakling…get your hands off me and stop jumping at everything that moves!

Ryou: (shivering) I can't help it! This place is so creepy!

Lina: That's what makes it cool, you ninny!

Ryou: (forgetting his fear, very angry) I AM NOT A NINNY!

Lina: (shrinks back at Ryou's ferocity)

Marik: Hey, Kitty?

Kitty: Yeah?

Marik: What are we doing here?

Yugi: Are we here to talk to some doomed spirits with your Ouija board again? The ones from last time weren't very nice

Atem: (muttering) Tell me about it…all angry because I'm still in the world of the living… (shouts as if the ghosts are there and listening) I never wanted to be trapped in a puzzle, you know! There are other things I had been dreaming of doing!

Kitty: Actually, we're here because of the story that surrounds this castle.

Joey: Story? What story?

Seto: (scoffs) Who cares?

Kitty: (vein throbbing in her temple) If you were so uninterested, Kaiba, then why the fucking hell are you here? I could have introduced my next shonen-ai fic without you!

Marik: Another shonen-ai fic?

Bakura: Is that what this whole thing is about?

Kitty: Duh.

Joey: (exasperated) So what is it this time? The Haunted Mansion?

Kitty: (sarcastic) Ha, ha, ha…very funny. And no, it's not.

Yugi: Then what is it, Kitten?

Kitty: (mysteriously) It's a story…based on the fairy tale…that was based on the story…that took place in this very castle.

Marik: (intrigued) Really? And what is that?

Kitty: (dramatically) It's a story…of a precious Beauty…and a terrible Beast.

Bakura: (eager) Hey, that sounds… (stops, suspicious) Wait a second! That story was done by Disney…that's the one with the talking candlestick, isn't it?

Kitty: (scowls) Yes, the Disney version of this story did have a talking candlestick…named Lumiere, by the way, Bakura; it's not polite to talk about people with vague names.

Bakura: (crosses his arms) Humph!

Ryou: (sighs) So…which ones of us are going to be humiliated this time?

Kitty: Basically all of you.

Joey: Aw, man…Kitty, don't tell me I'm going to have to kiss Kaiba again!

Kitty: Actually, Joey…you and Seto are the only ones of our number who is off the hook in that regard.


Seto: (sighs in cool relief) Hallelujah.

Kitty: Yeah…Joey's going with Mai this time…only good straight couple in Yu-Gi-Oh, in my opinion.

Joey: (grins broadly)

Atem: Wait…you said that Joey and Kaiba are the only ones off the hook?

Kitty: Yep. You and Bakura are still stuck with your Hikaris.

Bakura and Atem: (groan)

Yugi: (shrugs) Oh well…who's lucky enough to be in Belle's yellow dress, Kitten?

Kitty: No one really…but in Belle's role is Ryou.

Ryou: (sighs) Why am I not surprised?

Bakura: And I'm the Beast, huh? Can the Beast end up ripping the girl's head off in the end?

Kitty: (irritated) NO.

Bakura: (glares sullenly at Kitty)

Marik: But…where do I fit into all this?

Kitty: (awkward) Well, Marik…um…you see…about that…you…and your Yami…well…

Marik: WHAT?

Kitty: You're Gaston.

Marik: …WHAT?

Kitty: (hurriedly) It's not really you! It's your Yami's fault!


Kitty: Well, I'm married to Yugi…get over it!

Marik: (grumbles under his breath)

Creepy Voice: Don't you think you should get on with the fic?

Yugi: True, true…good idea, Yami.

Atem: Huh? I didn't say anything.

Yugi: (confused) But…if you didn't say anything…then who…?

(Evil, creepy laugh rings out above them)

Ryou: (latches onto Bakura, closing his eyes in terror) AHHHHHHH! THIS PLACE REALLY IS HAUNTED!

(Everyone else panicking)

Kitty: (very scared) ONTO THE FIC!