101 Pick up Lines

Numbers 1-20

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I got some of these pick up lines from online, but most of them are mine, as are all of the responses.

A/N: Just a little story idea that popped into my head. I've got 43 of them written so if I get reviews, I'll update the next chapter soon. So review! Tell me which one you liked best!


"Lily flower, may I say that you look wonderful today?"

"No, you may not."

"Oh, sorry. I take it back then, you look butt ugly."



"Congratulations, you've been voted most beautiful girl in the room, and the grand prize is a trip to Hogsmeade with me!"

"No thanks. I'll just take the cash."


"I think I'm dead, because you have to be an angel."

"No you're not dead... But it can certainly be arranged if you like."


"Hey Lily. Do you come here often?"

"It's the common room James, and yes, I live here."

"Me too! Coincidence, huh?"

"...Go away"


"I'm going to die tomorrow, what do you say about going to Hogsmeade with me to make my last night on earth a happy one?"

"If you don't get out of here in 5 seconds I'll make it so you die tonight."


"Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?"

"...No, I think that was Peter's charm backfiring and making the common room shake."


"What's that in your eye? Oh, I guess it was just a twinkle"

"What's that on your face? Oh, wait, that is your face."


"Hey, where have you been all my life?"

"Hiding from you"


"You're eyes are as startlingly green as...um, a frog..."


"It sounded better in my head"

"I'm sure it did"


"If you were a book, the writing would be what we call FINE PRINT!"

"...Potter, when is the last time you read a book?"

"Ummm... that's not the point."


"It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss?"

"Potter... today is my birthday."

"Seriously? Then how about I give you a birthday kiss?"

"...I was kidding..."

"Oh. Darn."


"Congratulations! You just won the most beautiful girl in the room award, and the prize is a date with me"

"You already used that one."

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did."

"Oh... never mind then"


"Hi Evans, what are you eating?"


"How about I feed you? It'd be adorable"

"No, how about instead, I drive this fork through your hand."

"That would hurt..."

"Kinda the point."


"Can you spell pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcaniconiosis?"


"Me neither, I just thought I would ask."

"...Was that supposed to be another pick up line?"

"Yes. Sirius gave it to me."

"Why am I not surprised?"


"If I could hold a star every time you made me smile I would have the entire night sky in the palm of my hand."

"I hope the stars explode and you die."


"Hey Evans. You and me, Hogsmeade tonight at 8:00"

"No thanks, I would rather eat a pound of dragon dung."

"I have some if you want it."

"Potter, why do you have a pound of dragon dung?"

"...no reason..."


"If you were a booger, I would pick you first"

"Are you saying that you pick your boogers?"

"No, I just meant..."

"It's okay Potter, I'm not judging... oh wait yes I am"


"Were you arrested earlier? Because it has to be illegal to look that good."

"Were you arrested earlier? Because it has to be illegal to look that bad."


"If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."

"If you stood in front of a mirror, it would break."


"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"

"Désolé, mais je suis déjà occupé"

"...What does that mean?"

"I'm not telling."

"Oh come on Evans!!"


There we go! End of the first chapter! Now if I get a decent amount of reviews, I'll update soon since I have the next 20 written. So REIVEW!! Tell me which one you liked best!!

Oh, and for those of you who aren't the best with french, the last pick up line was:

"Would you like to sleep with me tonight?" (You gotta know that, Lady Marmalade!!)

"Sorry, but I'm already busy"

Now go on, review!!