Title: Sam Stinks
Genre: General/Humor, Family Fluff, Wee Winchesters
Rating: T just to be safe. There's really nothing bad in this story but there is mention of a few adult things.
Summary: Dean teaches Sam about personal hygiene.
Disclaimer: Ah, Sam, Dean and John Winchester, I wish I owned them, but guess what? I don't. These guys belong to Eric Kripke and The CW network. I make no profit off this story. It's just for fun.
"Am I smelly Dean?" An eight-year old Sam Winchester asked with wide eyes.
"What? No." Dean rolled his eyes, looking up from the television program he was watching. Sam climbed into the recliner next to him.
"Can't you sit over there?" Dean complained trying to get comfortable.
"I want to sit with you?"
"Why?" Dean whined sitting up straighter on the chair to make more room. He crossed his arms wanting his own space. Sam put his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean turned his head away in annoyance, and then he noticed that Sam did smell. His brother's scalp smelt to be more precise. He looked at the top of Sam's head and at his hair. His brother's hair was so oily it stuck together in parts.
"Dude, when's the last time you washed your hair? It stinks." Dean blurted out.
"What do you mean?"
"What do you think I mean? Don't you even know how to wash your hair?"
"I think so." Sam said uncertain. He turned his head away from Dean and rubbed at his eyes. "So I do smell? The kids at school weren't just being mean?"
"No they were being pretty honest." Dean said cruelly, but when Sam looked at him with tears in his eyes, Dean bit his tongue. "Seriously though, don't you remember dad showing us how to bathe and stuff?
"I don't remember." Sam cried. "At least about shampooing. I always thought I was doing it right. I just washed my hair two days ago."
"Does your scalp hurt at all?" Dean asked thinking that maybe it wasn't that Sam didn't wash his hair right but that he had some condition on his head. One of his friends had told him something about dry skin there and how much it burned.
"No." Sam assured him.
"You really don't know how to wash your hair then huh?"
"Yes I do." Sam insisted.
"Well, you start at your scalp you know?" Dean tried to explain, but Sam was too upset to listen to the words coming out of his mouth. Dean noticing he didn't have Sam's attention went to his next plan. He stood up. He gestured at Sam to do the same.
"What?" Sam asked with a sniffle.
"Go put on a pair of swim shorts.
"Just do it?" Dean said with irritation. He pushed Sam towards the stairs.
"Now Sam." Dean ordered, pointing to the top of the stairs.
"Fine, but it's too cold to go swimming." Sam stated. He scurried up the stairs, sticking his tongue out at Dean.
A couple minutes later Dean headed up the stairs, kicked Sam out of their room and put on his own pair of swim trunks. He dragged his brother into the bathroom by his arm and hoisted his brother into the bathtub as if he were four instead of eight.
"Ok, so I'm only going to show you this once, so you better pay attention or be the smelly kid at school. It's your choice." Dean said in a tone that reminded Sam of his teacher at school. Dean turned on the water and put his head under the shower head. "Watch and learn little brother." Dean smiled, picking up a bottle of shampoo. He made a rather spectacular show of washing his hair.
When he was done he stepped aside and watched Sam wash his hair, giving him a few pointers. When Dean was satisfied that Sam knew the correct way to wash his hair he assured him that if he washed his hair like this at least a couple times a week he would be the best damn smelling kid in his class, and that was a good thing because girls liked guys who smelled good.
Sam wrinkled his nose in disgust and told Dean he could care less about impressing any stupid girl. It sure would be nice not to be made fun of anymore though. Dean told Sam that if anymore kids told him he smelled that he had his permission to punch them in the face. Sam decided he would do just that.
"So you know the right way to wash yourself and all, right?" Dean asked, figuring that while they were here they might as well cover as much as they could because he wasn't getting in the shower with his brother again. They weren't little kids anymore and it was kind of weird.
"Yeah. Sam said picking up a bar of soap and rubbing it on his shoulder.
"Well ok that works I guess, but I think maybe you get cleaner using a wash cloth." Dean stepped out of the shower and retrieved a clean wash cloth. He wet it, put soap on it, and scrubbed his shoulder.
Sam watched carefully and made a mental note to use a wash cloth during his next shower. He wouldn't have to wait until his next shower though, as Dean slapped the wet wash cloth onto the back of Sam's head and told him to try washing himself like non freaks do. Sam peeled the wash cloth off his head angrily, soaped it up and scrubbed his arm with it.
"Good, you're not as stupid as you look." Dean said approvingly, stepping out of the tub. He flinched when a wet bar of soap struck him right between his shoulder blades.
"What the hell Sammy?" Dean yelled turning around, and glaring at his little brother who had a huge grin on his face.
"What?" Sam shrugged.
Dean looked at Sam and fumed for a moment before thinking of something better. "Hey Sammy, did you know that if your hand is bigger than your face it means you have cancer?" Dean said seriously.
"Really?" Sam asked both curious and scared. He spread his hand out over his face and Dean hit it hard.
"Ow." Sam screamed, taking his hand away from his face. "You hurt my nose."
"Well Sammy, payback's a bitch."
Sam stormed out of the bathroom in a pout but Dean called him back. "We're not finished yet."
"Yes we are?"
"I wanna make sure you know how to brush your teeth right."
"I don't feel like it." Sam whined. He rubbed his nose.
"Go and brush your teeth Sam. You too Dean." John said coming up behind his youngest. He had been silently watching and listening to his sons for the last few minutes. He could have done without the bar of soap flying at Dean's back or Dean's revenge, but he would address that later.
He couldn't feel a more potent blend of pride in Dean and shame in himself for not taking more time to make sure his youngest knew about personal hygiene. He remembered teaching his boys to bathe but hadn't really stuck to the follow up with Sam, like smelling his scalp after he washed his hair, or checking his jaw line to make sure he had rinsed off all the soap on his face. It just wasn't something he had thought about. When he taught Dean about personal hygiene he had picked it up perfectly. John had expected the same from Sam.
John observed as Sam and Dean put dollops of toothpaste on their tooth brushes and watched carefully as they brushed their teeth. "Ok that's good boys, but you don't need to brush so hard, and Sam, try brushing in circles instead of back and forth, and brush your gums too. How many times a day should you brush your teeth?"
"At least two." Dean said quickly.
"You boys know how to floss?"
"I do." Dean answered.
No Sir." He answered quietly.
"Well, I'll show you then. " John searched the cabinet behind the mirror for some floss but there wasn't any. "We'll go to the store later and pick some up." He said feeling even worse. "You two have any questions about anything?" John looked at Sam and Dean expectantly.
"I wanna know about girls and where babies come from." Dean smirked.
"Me too." Sam said eager to copy his brother's lead.
"Cute." John said quickly. Dean and Sam had been given that lecture a while ago. Dean the first time when he was four, right around the time Sam was born, and way too young to be interested in those things, as far as John was concerned.
John shook his head. Dean was going to cause him some problems in a few years. John wasn't oblivious to the fact that on Valentines day, Dean got more cards from girls then Sam got from his entire class, and that Dean had always been the only boy invited to his female classmates' birthday parties. He hadn't missed the fact either that when a kid came knocking at the door to see if Sam or Dean were home that if the kid were a girl she was there for his eldest, and the way Dean looked at girls, and not just girls his own age, a boy his age had no business looking at the ladies like that. Dean couldn't be anymore intrigued with the opposite sex.
John took a deep breath. He really needed to have another conversation with Dean. One that involved sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy and a demonstration with a banana and condom. He wondered if there were any bananas in the house, if not they were picking those up too when they went to the store.
"Ah come on dad. I really want to know about girls and babies." Dean said again, wondering why his father had suddenly gone quiet.
"So do I." Sam jumped up.
"Please." They both pleaded at once. "Pretty, pretty please."
"Yeah, with sugar and strawberries on top." Sam smiled.
"No way, with chocolate syrup and sprinkles on top." Dean interrupted.
"How about please with gummy bears and Oreo cookies piled on top all the way to the ceiling?" Sam said ecstatically.
"No, it's gotta be please with Peanut M&M's and cherry Pez filling up the entire Impala on top." Dean finished.
John concealed a laugh at his children's play. "Do you really need me to give you boys the talk again?" He asked wanting to make himself approachable if they had anymore questions. Sam and Dean both shook their heads. John smiled. "Good, so the Pizza is here, why don't you boys go eat some?"
"But we just brushed our teeth." Sam pointed out.
"So, pizza tastes good no matter what. Or didn't you know that?" Dean said in a condescending tone.
"Of course I knew that." Sam pouted.
"Whatever you say there Smelly."
"Boys." John warned, wanting some peace this evening.
"You heard dad Sammy, stop complaining about everything."
'I wasn't complaining about anything."
"Yes you were."
"I wasn't." Sam yelled. He stomped up to Dean and glared at him threateningly.
"What? You really think you can take me Sammy?" Dean taunted, taking a step closer to Sam.
"Yes!" Sam screamed throwing a fist out to Dean.
"Enough." John raised his voice. He stepped between his sons and grabbed each of them by the arm." The only one who does the hurting around here is me. You got that?" John said letting go of his children.
Sam and Dean were quiet for a moment. Dean glanced at Sam who looked like he wanted to cry again. "Sorry to take your right of being the only one who can hurt away. I'll try not to hurt anything anymore, not even a spirit." Dean said convincingly enough. He looked at Sam and gave him a smile as if to say we got him now.
"What? That's not what I meant son." John said confused. He turned to Dean to explain what he meant, when he saw that Dean was smiling. He looked at Sam who started to laugh.
"Dean knew what you meant daddy. He was just messing with you." Sam giggled.
John shook his head. "Ah, go and eat your dinner boys." He scolded lightly. He cuffed Sam and Dean on the back of their heads and gave them a little push towards the stairs.
"Yes sir!" Sam and Dean saluted. They turned around in unison and raced down the stairs.
John called after them not to run, but it was already too late. John thought of Dean and Sam as teenagers and then as adults. In time it was only a few months away from Dean's thirteenth birthday, but in maturity both boys still had a long way to go. They would still be his little ones awhile longer and John found comfort in that.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and please leave a review. I was actually inspired to write this story from a conversation I had with one of my co-workers who was teaching her children about personal hygiene and I thought what the heck I'll write a story about Sam and Dean in this context.