Room 69

Inspired by: Chocolate the food and the noises I was making while eating it

The song "Chocolate" by Soul Control, preferably the Spanish version

Disclaimer: Will Sasuke and Naruto every do it like the Discovery Channel? I think not. Same goes with me owning Naruto. (p.s. if you know the song by Bloodhound Gang – Discovery Channel, or have read Chapter 18 of my other fic (humorous) 'Cleared', you'll get this disclaimer)

A/N: Well, now….this oneshot will be refreshingly told by Naruto…except that it's third person…what I'm probably trying to say is that these events will be from what Naruto is seeing (and hearing)….so yeah…and plus, if you love sasusaku and are a diehard for humor, this is your oneshot….anyways, Mr. Review Button will be waiting when you finish this so please feel free to touch…er…click him so he can feel the pleasure of the Discovery Channel too…XD

(as you can see, I am in Jiraiya mode right now, which equals utter pervertedness…XD)

By the way, the opening of this is NOT what it seems to be…I repeat, NOT what it seems to be…just read on and you'll get it eventually…XD


"Mmmhh…! Oh give me more, Sasuke…"

Naruto paused as he heard moans (of pleasure?) come from the door across the hall from his. The glass of water that he had just procured from the hotel pantry, along with the packets of instant-ramen, fell to the ground onto the red carpet. Luckily, the glass didn't break; the water merely sloshed onto the floor, creating a damp, soggy puddle in the pile of ramen packages

Naruto stepped towards the door that led to the source of groans, and made a note of the room number. He smirked –it was room 69. Quietly (as quietly as he could be in the crinkly windbreaker he was in), he pressed his ear to the door, hoping to hear (and possible see) more. Fortunately (for him), he was rewarded for his efforts.

"Oh! It's coconut-flavored!" Naruto heard a feminine voice exclaim. Naruto stared –was that Sakura in a room with Sasuke? A million different thoughts (as well as a few scenarios) ran through the blonde's head, along with the red flush that was making its way across his cheeks.

Wait a sec.

Hold on.

Did Sakura just say 'it's coconut flavored'?


What was coconut flavored? More importantly, what was she doing with the coconut-flavored thing? If possible, Naruto turned even redder as he thought of th emost impossible positions Sakura and Sasuke were in.

"Sakura-don't lick it –just put the whole thing in your mouth!"

Naruto's eyes widened –what in the world were they doing?

"But Sasuke, it's too big! Seriously, this one is all squishy!" Naruto heard Sakura squeal as he began to think about the cause of the racket.

Suddenly, someone walked by, and Naruto quickly stood up, trying to rub his head as nonchalantly as possible. He brightened up as soon as he saw that it was his roommate.

"Hi Hinata! What brings you here to Room 69?" Naruto suddenly flushed again, "Oh, I didn't mean that you wanted to you, know…er….yeah, do that kind of stuff…I just meant the room number … you know, the one that Sasuke and Sakura are sharing? Yeah…that's what I meant…yeah…"

Hinata giggled, and then heard a moan come from the said door.

"Um…Naruto?" She asked, blushing so that her face was the color of Sakura's hair.

"Yes, Hinata?" Naruto said cheerfully, the caffeine he had that morning causing him to grin scarily and show off his white teeth that went ping! like Lee's and Gai's.

"Err…you're not spying on Sakura and Sasuke, right? I mean….t-t-they m-m-ight be b-b-busy…." Hinata said, stuttering on the last syllables.

"Um….no! Actually, I was walking back from getting the chicken and beef flavored ramen from the kitchen and then I heard something come from Sasuke and Sakura's room so I wanted to find out if they were okay! Yeah, believe it!" Naruto said, lying and failing miserably.

Suddenly, an particularly loud moan came from the room, followed by Sakura saying, "Sasuke! This is awesome! I had no idea that it could be so creamy!"

At that, Hinata turned red. So that's why Naruto-kun was so interested…she thought, sighing and giggling to herself at the same time.

Naruto, having a stroke of genius in him, decided to ask Hinata a favor.

"Hey, Hinata? Could you use your Byakugan to see what kind of positions…I mean…erm….what Sasuke and Sakura are doing?" he asked sheepishly.

Naruto's question was punctuated by a loud laugh coming from inside the room, with Sasuke apparently saying, "So it is too big for your mouth…"

Hinata, torn between watching an act of privacy but driven to please her Naruto-kun, decided to do what Naruto asked.

"U-u-um….sure, Naruto-kun," she stuttered nervously, mentally preparing herself for the scene she was about to see.

"Thanks Hinata! You're great!" Naruto gave Hinata a thumbs-up sign.

Hinata turned her Byakugan on and proceeded to look through the door.

A few seconds later, she laughed out loud.

"So that's what t-t-they were doing!" she giggled, mainly to herself.

Naruto, who had overheard her, asked, "What? What are they doing?"

Hinata merely shook her head and proceeded to walk back to the room she and Naruto shared, room 70.

"I'll see you later, Naruto-kun!" she yelled from the hallway.

Naruto sighed, his plan foiled.

What am I going to do now? I have to find out what they're doing!

However, Naruto's 'bright' mind never ceased to fail him. Using his uber-spiffy ninja skills, he managed to quietly open the door.

Naruto's eyes popped open at the scene laid out before him.

Oh my god…no wonder they were making so much noise!

Naruto quickly excused himself and inwardly puked as he walked out and shut the door behind him. He proceeded to go back to room 70, where Hinata waited for him.

Back in room 69, Sakura giggled.

"What did he think we were doing, Sasuke-kun?" She asked, playing with his hair.

"I don't know…the dobe always had a twisted mind…I mean, he was probably at the end of his rope anyways…seriously, I was only feeding you chocolate…" Sasuke said smexily, and leaned over to give Sakura a kiss as she picked up and unwrapped another piece of chocolate.


So? What did you think of it? I thought it was pretty clever…XD…anyways, press Mr. Review Button and review or he'll be lonely, okay? XD