A/N: (review reply) Questions – Dude, you're, like, complaining about things we haven't even talked about yet! As you can see, the letter is right here. (It's called patience. Exercise it.) And though I regret trailing off near the end of it, it's written. We're not saying Harry's dumb without Hermionie, we're saying he's dumb period! (Love the books, hate the character, y'know?) That's why 'humor' is in the genre. It's supposed to be funny. We're sorry if it's not. And those plot holes you so kindly pointed out, why don't you explain them to us so we can tell you whether they're supposed to be there, we're going to explain it later or correct it. One last thing: we're making fun of the cliché stories by adding the fact that they're sharing one bed. Because we're cool like that. As for everything else…you'll see. Oh! And as for why the Slytherins are taking CoMC with Hagrid, ask the plot. The plot is God and runs all things.

P.S. "I think my biggest complaint is that many of your thoughts and threads are left half done and it really gets confusing why you invest a lot of time in parts of the story that really don't matter!"

That's a plot hole we recognized. Um…no real explanation, really. xD Just…fill in your own idea. Be creative. And one last thing, for real this time: Every moment in this story moves the plot forward in some sort of way. Don't like the bits that matter? Skim. We won't blame you.

Kirrima – Um…we're trying to avoid the mate thing. But slave is a good idea! o.o

To every one else – Thanks a lot! We're open to ideas, y'all. Love you!

Dearest Harry,

Since you are holding this letter it is quite obvious you have Awakened, just like James said you would. Congratulations. But if you have this letter, it also means he is…no longer with you. Let me be the first to tell you what you are. You are a Star, Harry. A being of Celeste, City of the Gods. Or what you might call Heaven. …Possibly. In my opinion it's not the same at all.

Now, read closely Harry and pay attention. The rest of this letter will tell you all you need to know…

Harry pulled out the super long letter from the drawer in his bedside table and grimaced. Was it really necessary to read this entire bloody letter that was probably going to take up the whole chapter? Something about the parchment in his hand screamed YES. Thank Merlin Draco was on his Prefect rounds. It made life so much simpler. But he didn't know when he was going to be back, so he had to read quickly.

With a deep breath he began the letter that would probably lead him to a troubled sleep.

First, let me introduce myself. I am Adéro, simply that. When I was growing up there was no such thing as last names. But if I had to give myself one, I would say…Sarnac. Hehe. That's a street in America, don'tcha know. Now I have to go make up a birth certificate since I've picked one. (sigh) I'll be right back.

Harry stared at the letter. What did she mean by 'make up a birth certificate'? He blinked. The dots were pulsing! What the hell?

Okay, I'm back! That was easier than I thought! Where was I? Oh, yes. I am Adéro, Goddess of Chaos. I bet you're wondering, more or less, why the Goddess of Chaos is writing your letter. Frankly darling, I couldn't tell you. I guess they believe I'd gotten more mature since the Temple Incident. Yes, it's capitalized. Don't say a word about it.

Anyway, I'm telling you that because I want you to know that I do indeed know what I'm talking about. I am one of the Authority, baby!

Alright, basics first. First off, there are…9, maybe 10 Gods. We are part of an ancient religion, which means that the people that made our name were a little…simple. We are: the Almighty Ones. Anyway, 9 or 10 Gods. They are (in hierarchy order): Kai, Supreme Goddess; Artemis, Goddess of Death (that's my partner right thurr! We don't roll without each other, ya heard?); Nathan, God of Wisdom; Alexia, Goddess of Love (gone); Staunton, God of War (Gayer than stripping house-elves, if you ever get those feelings. Very understanding. My brother.); Myself, Goddess of Chaos and technically Revenge; Rayn, Goddess of Time; Joseph, God of Dreams (if you've read the Bible, you might find that amusing); Sandy, Goddess of Healing (and Light and Life and whatnot. Joseph's wife.); Salaria, Goddess of the Moon and Stars (gone). Yeah, that's 10.

Mostly we still live in the temple where we were worshipped and loved most, but sometimes we stop by Celeste.

Harry shifted and scowled at the letter. What was this damn Celeste already? And…what did she mean by "gone"?

Don't get fidgety, this is a long letter.

In order to explain Celeste, we have to explain Stars, so…I guess I should do that, eh? I'm too lazy, though. My hand hurts. But I shall continue, if but for my Guardian. (salutes)

Okay, from least to greatest we have:
Allumens (Fallen Stars, mostly.)
Fallen Angels (AKA: Bella Muerte)
Cherubim
Seraphim
------- Some other thing goes here
Stars
----- Guardians fit in here somewhere
Gods

If you're an Allumens, there's no getting back. You're done, screwed. The end. You lose control of your power, which you would agree is pretty bad. But you also lose the very will to live, though the power that resides within you is keeping you alive. It's…just really bad, okay?

(Side note: This will contradict what I just wrote, but that applies to Allumens. Not you. Stars cannot die. Keep that in mind. They can only fade.)

Anyway, Stars are like…promoted Angels (which would be the general category for Cherubim, Seraphim, so on) who have good souls. Confusing, but things aren't always meant to be explained. Stars can be born from the promoted angels, which would make them pure Stars. Augh. I just confused myself. Um…how about this? Pure Star, as in actually made of Stardust (PLEASE don't ask!) would equal Angel plus Angel. A just plain old Star (yes, I know it's a general term) would be from a promoted Angel. Gah. Okay, you can ask. But much, much later.

Now! Finally, you get to hear about your father. Whoo. Took us a damn long time to get there, didn't it?

Anyhoo! There are very few Pure Stars that get to become Guardians, mostly because none of them are trustworthy or loyal enough. But a Guardian is judged by heart, strength, loyalty and spirit. That's why there're so few of them. Who, even in the heavens, is going to have qualities like that?

Your father did. He was the Captain, the first Guardian of the Gates (same thing as the heavens if you're going to get all technical), one of the most trusted of Kai's Stars.

But, as you may or may not know, James was…well, in simple terms…a rebel. He just couldn't take the fact that there was a being higher than he was who called the shots. So he left, closing the Gates behind him. He made sure to lock them and take the key as well, the fucker. Whatever he did down on Earth (he blocked his magick signature x.x)I'm sure you know.

If people start to randomly bow to you, don't worry, that's normal. Guardians command respect with their very blood and as the child of one, you're no different. But there should be something to stop it; you're a wizard, you find out. If it doesn't work…it could mean…nah. That hasn't happened in years, it's impossible. Just forget it.

But here's your problem.

I knew it, he thought through the haze of shock. There's always something.

We need the Gates open. If they don't open soon, we're not sure what will happen, but we know it's going to be big. And bad. The Almightys need your help, Harry. We're not asking you to take your place among the heavens (just subtly pushing), but whatever happens up here if the Gates crack or whatever will happen, it will affect Earth as well.

Use your magick to find the key.

Use your heart to open the Gates.

Queen pwns you,

Adéro

The signature was incredibly loopy and scribbled with a little line above a particular loop as an accent mark. Harry blinked a few times, confused beyond belief. All he seemed to grasp was the fact his dad was almost as powerful as a God. That would explain why his head was so big – he had more magick than Dumbledore! James was almost justified. And just as he was puzzling about Angels and how Stars couldn't die, more writing appeared on the bottom of the parchment.

P.S. I know you're probably confused as hell by now. I am and I wrote this damn thing. If you have any questions, write back. Here's how: Do everything like normal, put it in the envelope and whatnot. Write my name or whoever you want to write to's name on the envelope. Then whisper: ((ignore this: On the wings of the wind, be sent to (Name here))) Ottn eseb, din weth ofs gni weht no: (Name here) It'll dissolve, so don't be freaked. We'll get it immediately and respond as soon as we can, kay?

Harry sighed. Instead of answering his questions, the letter just created new ones. And why did everyone depend on him to save their asses? It was just something with the hair and glasses, wasn't it? Root for the underdog, that type of thing? Yes, that had to be it! Some thing about his appearance just screamed, 'I want to be your hero!' One eye closed in exasperation, Harry pulled out a piece of parchment, a quill and some ink and began to write a response to Adéro. He paused, scratched out her name; …write a response to Staunton.

A/N: (Chanta) Sorry for lateness! I couldn't figure out how to end this. x.x Um..a tip: any questions you guys have will be asked in Harry's letter to Adéro and answered in her reply back, kay? Kay! –pokes the little purple button- Reviewing our story gets rid of the shakes and helps you sleep at night! You'll also receive a Harry/Draco!smut clone free with every review.