"Stop smiling Smallville. This isn't a date."
"No matter what that woman may have implied."
"She merely said she hasn't been on a double date in years," Clark assured her. "You're the one who inferred that to mean this was a double date."
"I know. I'm just picking you up because that's safer for every man, woman, child, and dog near a road than if you were to drive yourself. We're only dressed nice because your secret stash of flannel is still in the wash. We're only going to dinner with another couple because they wanted to see us both. And I only gave you those flowers because they were going to wilt and die in that flower shop."
Lois growled. "Don't think I missed you slipping the word 'another' in front of 'couple' there."
"No Lois, you don't miss much." Clark said with a small grin.
"Darn tootin'," Lois agreed looking forward as they pulled into the restaurant parking lot. "I certainly don't miss hidden smiles or opportunities for revenge."
"Good thing it's not a date then," Clark agreed meekly.
Lois nodded before frowning. "It's not a double date either, you know."
"Relax Lois," Clark calmed her cutting the engine as they got out of the car. "Peter happened to be back in town, so it would only make sense that his wife would want to meet the two people who knew his secret. It affects her life too."
"I know," Lois said. "I just wished she hadn't called it a double date."
"You inferred that."
"She implied that!"
Clark had a feeling Lois would relentlessly argue this all night. "You look beautiful," Clark said offering his arm to escort her.
Lois looked Clark up and down in his suit like a predator sizing up her prey. She calmly replied, "I know."
"Thank you," Clark accepted before processing what she said.
"I didn't compliment you," Lois victoriously announced as they walked to the door.
Clark could hear the smugness of her voice and quietly mumbled, "No need. I know what that lustful look in your eyes and blush in your cheeks meant." He didn't even give Lois a chance to comment before greeting loudly, "Peter, it's good to see you."
Peter reached forward and shook Clark's hand, tempted to squeeze it as hard as he could just to see if he could get a response. "You too, Clark. Lois, you look radiant. Both of you, I would like you to meet my wife, Mary Jane."
"Pictures don't do you justice, Mary Jane," Clark complimented. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"I've been very eager to meet both of you," she greeted before whispering quietly to Peter, "Is Superman flirting with me?"
"Super-hearing, honey," Peter whispered back.
"Crap," Mary Jane said out loud while shaking Lois' hand.
Lois had been surreptitiously glaring at both Clark and the gorgeous redheaded model-turned-actress. She plastered an amused look on her face. "Technically it's pronounced 'Clark,' but that was close enough."
"Oh I'm sorry," Mary Jane apologized. "I didn't mean-"
"It's quite alright," Clark assured her. "Working with Lois, you grow used to randomly shouted expletives."
Lois narrowed her eyes and punched Clark in the shoulder.
"And violence too, of course."
The group of four was seated at a table near the back with a fair amount of privacy.
Mary Jane maintained constant idle conversation trying to get a feel for these two people. She didn't harbor as many doubts about Superman as she did about Lois, but she wasn't comfortable with the idea of anyone knowing Peter's secret identity. Nevertheless, the possibility of a sympathetic friend was very enticing to Mary Jane.
Clark tilted his head, catching the cries of help way off in the distance and stood up suddenly. He glanced at Lois and announced, "If you'll excuse me, I really need to go to the bathroom."
Peter catching on, offered, "Want some company?"
Clark nodded. "Might not be a bad idea."
Peter smiled at his wife encouragingly and turned to Clark. "Alright. Let's go to the bathroom then."
The two men hurried off to the restroom, while Lois just stared at them curiously, glanced over at a weakly smiling Mary Jane, and then saw the men had disappeared around the corner. "I thought only women did that."
"Go to the bathroom?" Mary Jane inquired, since it appeared Lois didn't understand what had just happened.
"Believe it or not, I am aware that men go to the bathroom, but to go together so obviously… are they gossiping about us?"
"They might be trying to give us some time away from them," Mary Jane deflected.
Lois nodded and looked both ways. She earnestly explained, "Yeah, listen. I'll never make a story out of your husband or the secretive side of his life. I'll never betray any confidence. I think what he does… is remarkable. I'm grateful for all the times he and people like him do what they do, and if there ever is any way I can help, I'll gladly do what I can."
Mary Jane heard no trace of sarcasm in Lois' words. "Thank you."
Lois smiled brightly. "And I have no doubt Clark will tell you the same, if he hasn't already, he's a total boy scout. He's probably got a savior complex as bad as Peter and no one will get Peter's secret out of him."
Mary Jane smirked knowing she knew something Lois seemingly didn't. "You like Clark, don't you?"
Lois sat back with an irritated but content smile. "I get that a lot."
"Are you not answering the question because you don't want me to know or because you don't want you to know?"
Lois narrowed her eyes at the challenge. "Of course I like him. He's my partner, best friend, and I've known him for years."
Mary Jane shook her head. "You don't owe me any answers. I was only stating the obvious."
Lois looked left and right. "Would Peter wait in the bathroom with Clark?"
"Would Peter wait for Clark to finish?" Lois asked. "Because Clark's been known to disappear in there for forty-five minutes or more at a time. Usually by that point I stop waiting for him."
Mary Jane was looking at Lois strangely. "Don't you find that… odd?"
"I don't appreciate anyone mocking Clark's digestive difficulties," Lois said a little stiffer and more defensive.
"Hey, I had a co-star who asked me to watch the video of his colonoscopy," Mary Jane argued. "I'm not about mock anyone's digestive difficulties. It's just… Clark seems pretty healthy. And Peter used to give me similar excuses about forgetting to turn the oven off, leaving his wallet at home, or going to bathroom for fifteen or twenty minutes without explanation."
Lois nodded. "Yes, but I think we both know Peter was just trying to cover up his secret identity."
"Uh-huh," Mary Jane nodded waiting for Lois to perhaps make a connection.
Lois just watched Mary Jane wondering what she was waiting on when it came to her. "Oh!"
Mary Jane smiled slightly noticing the moment Lois had finally put two and two together.
"You think that's where Peter is right now?"
Mary Jane just smiled wider neither confirming nor denying anything.
"And Clark's just going to stay in the bathroom to cover for him?"
Mary Jane's smile dropped into confusion.
"But why would Peter need Clark to do that?" Lois asked curiously. "I mean we'd all understand… umm, you would understand, wouldn't you?"
"Of course I'd understand," Mary Jane insisted. "Part of the reason I love him is because he's always doing everything he can to help those who need it most. I know it means giving up husband time for saving the world duties, but that's just who my husband is. Even if I do have to spend my time sitting home alone, scared to death, unable to do anything to help, no one to talk to who understands-"
"Mary Jane," Lois interrupted. "Take a breath."
Mary Jane realized she'd been rambling. She was also pretty confident now in thinking that Lois wasn't just humoring the oblivious bathroom buddies, as she had been secretly hoping. She echoed her earlier words and stated, "You like Superman, don't you?"
Lois found that to be a curious segue but answered without pause. "Of course I do. You pretty much have to be evil to not like Superman."
"I think it helps that he's always gotten good press," Mary Jane commented thinking of the many stories the Daily Bugle ran about her husband. "But that wasn't exactly what I meant. I was saying you like Superman, in a somewhat similar way to how you like Clark."
"Oh good god," Lois muttered to herself.
"You're pretty obvious about it."
"Is that what this is?" Lois said looking critically at Mary Jane. "You're trying to recruit me for some super-wives club?"
Mary Jane was about to indignantly defend herself when she realized that wasn't really that far off the mark. Mary Jane just snapped her mouth shut uncertain how to continue.
Lois sighed and shook her head. "Let me stop you right there. Superman may give me butterflies in my stomach, among other tingling places, but I couldn't do that to Clark. I've had this conversation drilled into my head from my cousin, and I couldn't reasonably commit my life to being some super-sex slave, no matter how… enticing a life it might be."
Mary Jane furrowed her brow at Lois. "Do you really think Superman would want a sex slave?"
"Who in their right mind wouldn't want a sex slave?" Lois retorted.
"Superman, perhaps?" Mary Jane suggested. "Me, my husband, probably most of America…"
"Well fine," Lois admitted. "But he deserves a few of them with everything he's done for the world."
"And you're not volunteering?"
Lois was momentarily speechless, before mustering up all the dignity she could. "If I were convinced it was the right thing to do, I would accept my duty with… pleasure."
"I'm sure," Mary Jane chuckled. "But you couldn't do that to Clark?"
"Be his sex slave?" Lois repeated wondering why she wasn't dismissing the idea outright.
"I meant you wouldn't want to hurt Clark by getting involved with Superman," Mary Jane corrected, more than a little pleased to see Lois drifting off imagining Clark.
"No," Lois said with a shrug, thoroughly surprised at herself. "No, I wouldn't."
"What about getting involved with Clark then?"
"Smallville?" Lois grinned, making sure the men hadn't returned or were hiding around the corner. "To be honest, I wouldn't want to hurt Superman by getting involved with Clark either."
Mary Jane just had to look down at the absurdity of the situation. "God that man is dense."
"Clark?" Lois agreed. "No kidding."
"You really think you'd hurt Superman by dating Clark?"
Lois paused and bit her lip. "I don't know. Sometimes I think it might. Other times I think I'm silly for imagining that Superman cares about me that much."
"He is kinda hunky, isn't he?"
"Superman?" Lois shook her head with a low whistle. "Oh don't get me started me on that."
"He's about Clark's height, right?"
Lois nodded. "Almost exactly, though I guess it's possible he could have lifts in those boots."
"His build?" Mary Jane continued, knowing she was in dangerous territory but having trouble caring at the moment. "Pretty close to Clark's?"
Lois could see where Mary Jane was going but still gave the comparison some consideration. "Superman's muscles I think are a little more defined, probably because they're practically steel. Although when I dropped by Clark's poker game, he looked… firmer than I remembered."
"But about the same, right?"
"Yeah," Lois admitted. "Pretty similar."
"I noticed Clark has bright blue eyes, and dark slightly wavy hair. What's Superman's like?"
Lois scratched her head, forcing herself to compare the two men she kept trying not to. "His hair's just about the identical shade of dark brown that can pass for black. Come to think of it Clark's even been copying Superman's goofy curl in his hair."
"Really?" Mary Jane inquired. "Clark didn't always have that?"
"You know," Lois realized. "You're right. Clark did have that same sort of curl on occasion when he was younger. He just let his hair grow out longer back then."
"Are Superman's eyes blue… like Clark's?"
Lois shook her head fervently. "Goodness no. Well I mean yes they are blue, but Superman's eyes are a deep unnatural cerulean color, almost alien looking."
"Right," Lois realized belatedly. "They are alien, but still… a gal gets lost in them easy. Clark's eyes are blue too, but not like Superman's."
"Huh," Mary Jane admitted knowing she might be earning herself a special place in hell for this conversation. "You think maybe his glasses affect them?"
"Glasses can't make that much difference," Lois explained as though Mary Jane was a toddler. "They're just frames with a couple of pieces of clear glass."
Mary Jane sighed, resisting the urge to smack Lois. "So Superman is about Clark's height, Clark's build, has the same general hair color, hair style, and eye color. And both seem to like you for some inexplicable reason, right?"
Lois nodded knowing all this.
Mary Jane just stared at Lois, begging her to make the connection.
Lois just stared back and sipped her water.
Mary Jane sighed and tried another avenue. "Have you ever met Clark's parents?"
"Martha's one of my dearest friends, and they're pretty much the parents I always wished I had. I lived with them for a while, taking over Clark's bedroom, and forcing him to sleep on an uncomfortable couch." Lois smiled in remembrance. "Good times."
"Really?" Mary Jane asked in surprise. "Does Clark look more like his mother or his father?"
"Jonathan died several years ago, but Clark doesn't look much like either of them. He was adopted."
"Oh," Mary Jane commented. "So they're not his biological parents?"
"His biological parents died a long time ago too," Lois explained. "But I remember Martha telling me they adopted him right after the first meteor shower."
"That's interesting," Mary Jane commented. "What did he fall from the sky that day or something?"
"Don't be silly. Clark knows a little about his biological parents but he doesn't talk about them that much."
Mary Jane knew in for a penny meant in for a pound. She scratched her chin in thought, "Didn't your big interview article with Superman mention that his entire planet and family were destroyed?"
"Yeah," Lois sighed. "You'd think he'd have more issues with grief, but… I guess that's why he's Superman."
"Coming to Earth from space though," Mary Jane tried to innocently postulate. "You'd think a spaceship landing here would've been noticed, or perhaps brought particulates in its wake on such a journey."
Lois thought she knew where Mary Jane was going, but was giving her the benefit of the doubt for now. "You mean like a meteor shower?"
"Good idea, Lois," Mary Jane grinned. "A meteor shower could easily hide a spaceship landing. And it would also make sense for why there was a meteor shower with the way objects in space can get caught in a ship's wake."
"You think Superman came in a meteor shower?" Lois mused. "I don't know. The only two significant meteor showers in the last half century have both been near Smallville."
"That seems entirely too unlikely to be coincidental."
Lois shook her head knowing only people from Smallville understood how unnatural the town was. "The most recent one was years before Superman ever showed up. It couldn't have been him."
Mary Jane huffed quietly. "What if he was still a child? Maybe he wasn't ready to start being a public superhero yet."
"Superman?" Lois considered carefully. "I just can't see him being a child. You'd notice the little boy in blue tights flying around."
"He doesn't always wear the tights you know. What if he grew up like a normal human?" Mary Jane said trying to hide her irritation. "Maybe some good people adopted him and raised him as their own?"
"That seems a bit hard to believe," Lois said skeptically.
"It's just an idea," Mary Jane insisted angrily. "I mean let's pretend for a second here. Do we know anyone adopted around the time of a meteor shower? Perhaps someone who could physically pass for what Superman looks like now? Height? Build? Hair? Eyes? Ridiculous infatuation with people as thick-skulled as those on his home planet?"
Lois sat back narrowing her eyes at Mary Jane. "Are you honestly trying to tell me you think Clark is Superman?"
"So what's the emergency?" Spiderman said crouched on Superman's back as he flew Northwest in the cold night sky.
"Oil tanker hull breach," Superman explained flying faster. "I figured a second pair of hands could help fish survivors out of the muck."
They arrived at the scene of an ecological disaster. Right away Spiderman dropped a web from Superman and started grabbing survivors with carefully aimed blasts from his web-shooters.
"You work on the survivors," Superman stated after pulling the first bunch to safety. "I'll seal the breach."
Spiderman nodded wondering how quickly one could weld if they had super-speed, strength, and heat vision.
It took the pair some work, but they'd managed to rescue all the sailors. The oil was leaking further away from the scene and would likely damage even more wildlife. After a suggestion from Spiderman, they cleared out the area of aquatic life, and Superman blew as much cold air as he could, freezing most of the spill into a giant iceberg.
Together the pair managed to move the bulk of the spilled oil out of the water and away from the scene.
"We should probably get going," Spiderman said to Superman.
Superman saw Spiderman was shivering and used his heat vision to warm him up. "What's the matter? Spider-sense telling you something?"
"No," Spiderman whispered leaning closer to Superman. "I just worry leaving those two alone for too long. Mary Jane will make some excuses to cover for us probably, but… let's just get going."
"It doesn't even take Lois a minute to piss off someone bad enough to kidnap her usually," Superman explained. He tilted his head slightly, "Her heart rate hasn't increased any, so I don't think she's in any danger."
"You're listening to her heartbeat?" Spiderman said stepping back. "Stalk much?"
"Shut up," Superman weakly argued for lack of a better defense. He focused his super-hearing knowing he could pick up Lois' voice just about anywhere especially knowing where to listen. He didn't know Mary Jane's voice that well, but he finally pin-pointed Lois just in time to hear her say "Are you honestly trying to tell me you think Clark is Superman?"
Superman gulped and looked at Spiderman. "Time to go." He grabbed the other superhero in a hug and shot off into the sky echoing a sonic boom as they broke the speed of sound.
"Yes!" Mary Jane nearly shouted. "Yes, that is exactly what I'm trying to tell you!"
Lois shook her head. "You're wrong. Clark is so… Clark. And Superman, I mean is… Superman. It's just not possible."
"No it really is possible!"
"I'm telling you it is. It really is."
"They're two completely different people. And I know the town of Smallville has had its effect on more than a couple, but these are two completely… different people."
The quick flight back dried the superheroes thoroughly and Spiderman was shivering as his insides felt like he'd been stuck in a paint mixer bouncing him back and forth.
Clark spit on a paper towel and quickly cleaned up Peter's face, making sure he was presentable. "Come on. We're late."
Clark dragged a still woozy Peter by hand as he arrived back at the dinner table with an amused Lois and a very red-faced Mary Jane. Peter's wife spotted the two men walking up to the table and paled rapidly. "That wasn't what it sounded like."
"You'd be surprised," Clark said, wondering why he was feeling more relieved than angry right now. "I have pretty good… hearing."
"Crap," Mary Jane blurted out remembering how good his hearing was. "Everything okay in the bathroom?"
"I'm a little queasy actually," Peter said, sitting himself down and grabbing a glass of water. It took him three tries before his hand actually found the glass and he gulped it down greedily.
Mary Jane sniffed a couple times and saw Clark looked perfectly composed. She saw Peter finish his water and look for more. "It's okay, honey. You can have my water too."
Lois was looking at Peter a little oddly too and sniffed the air as well. She leaned over towards Clark and sniffed him. "You both smell like wet duck."
"That's what it is," Mary Jane agreed immediately. "I was trying to place it."
Lois felt her cell phone vibrate and saw she'd received a text message. It was from Jimmy Olsen who was informing her: "Hi L.L. Superman and Spiderman just saved an oil tanker that capsized off the coast of Alaska. Footage is breaking now. Thought you might want to know. –J.O."
"I thought you were going to turn that thing off so we could enjoy dinner, Lois," Clark said helping himself to a roll.
"Hang on," Lois said beginning to put the pieces together. She pointed at Peter. "You smell like wet duck."
"Sorry?" Peter said with a weak shrug.
"But you do too," Lois said turning to look at Clark intently.
Clark glanced at Mary Jane who was looking extremely ashamed and Peter who was looking a little green. "Peter let me borrow his after-shave! Just now, in the bathroom." Clark sighed and smiled thinking he'd come up with a better than average explanation.
"No," Lois said shaking her head staring at Clark. Her eyes widened in shock. "You are Superman!"
"What?" Clark eeped in a high voice and pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Me? Lois, you can't be serious."
Clark just bit his lip shaking his head. "I'm not-"
"You're not supposed to lie," Lois said angrily.
"You've got me mistaken…" Clark trailed off as he watched Lois' arm come swinging down and her salad fork slammed into the meat of his forearm.
The prongs of the fork couldn't pierce his skin as they went curling off and twisting in all directions, while the weight of Lois' hand continued its swing into his arm.
"Oww!" Lois screeched as her hand slammed down into the mangled bent remains of her salad fork. "God dammit Superman," she cursed as she brought her hurting hand to her mouth. "That really hurt."
Clark looked over and saw Mary Jane keeping her head down but sneaking hopeful glances up at him. He turned to Peter who was just smiling merrily. Clark winced but asked, "Do you mind…?"
Peter nodded. "Not at all. Give us a call later. We're in town for the next four days."
"Come on," Clark said grabbing a hold of an angry Lois with a quickly bruising hand.
With a slight woosh of the air, Peter and Mary Jane were alone at the dinner table. "Check please," Peter called out to the nearest waiter. He looked over at his wife who was looking away in shame. "You told her, didn't you?"
"Of all the people you pick on, the lives you want to meddle with, Superman's life is the one you want to make difficult."
Mary Jane winced but still wouldn't meet his eyes. "Looks that way."
"So now that you've met them. Was I right or was I right?"
"My God," Mary Jane nodded in agreement. "She's even blinder than you said. And he's probably as dense as she is!"
"He's not that dense," Peter argued.
"Do you know the only reason she hasn't mounted him repeatedly is because she's afraid if she dates Superman, she'll hurt Clark's feelings and if she dates Clark, she'll hurt Superman's feelings?"
Peter paused unaware of that fact. "Really?"
"And she is getting really horny too," Mary Jane commented thinking of the glazed looks Lois got thinking back to Clark's body. "You remember when Harry's dog was in heat?"
"Oh," Peter said remembering quite clearly. "Okay, you're right. He's just as dense."
"Huh," Lois said for the tenth time so far. She was holding a small bag of ice against her bruised hand. "It makes so much sense now. I kept wondering why Clark started looking sexier and more attractive. I thought I was just really horny. Turns out it was just your super-powered super-pheromones," Lois admitted feeling a little better about herself.
"Yes, super-pheromones. I've been attracted to guys before but what you've been doing to me is not normal."
"Huh," Clark considered for a second. "You know you might be right. Because you've addled my brain hundreds of times."
"I have?" Lois asked gleefully. Her face fell into one of seriousness and determination. "No one's died because of it, have they?"
"Well," Clark shrugged. "There were those three school buses of children…"
Lois gasped before seeing the grin on Clark's face. "Oh that was horrible. My goodness… Superman. With a sense of humor."
"You're not just meeting for the first time, Lois," Clark reminded. "I'm Clark too you know?"
"That's right, Clark!" Lois said with wide eyes. "Wait! So where's the real Clark been hiding while you're pretending to be him?"
Clark looked at Lois oddly. "Huh?"
"No seriously, Superman," Lois insisted with a fearful look on her face. "Where is he? His mother's probably really worried about him."
"Are you kidding?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I'm…" Lois gasped and covered her mouth. "Oh no. Is he dead? Tell me he's not dead."
"No," Clark said shaking his head. "I'm Clark Kent."
"No, you're Superman."
"How long do you think I've been Clark Kent?"
"Has it been that long?" Lois whimpered. "Oh, I know! Superman wasn't in Metropolis until Clark came back from his stripper quest. It was you who came back!"
Clark shut his eyes and shook his head in frustration.
"Did that stripper kill him?" Lois snarled possessively, just before her face dropped into worry again. "Did he at least find her? His Destiny?"
"There was no stripper! How many times do I have to tell you?"
"Wait so how long have you been pretending to be Clark Kent?"
Clark rolled his eyes and gave Lois an exasperated look. "Ever since my parents adopted me."
Lois sucked in a breath in surprise. "Really?"
"So what happened to Clark before then?"
"There is no other Clark! I am Clark! I'm the only Clark there's ever been."
"But you're Superman."
"Lois, you know I only became Superman when I got back. I've been Clark Kent for a couple decades more than I've been Superman."
"Hang on… so you're saying the dorky high school kid I knew back in Smallville was an alien from Krypton with super powers?"
Clark smiled brightly, glad she was catching on. "Yes. That was me."
"Does… does Martha know?"
"Oh no! I think Chloe knows! What are we going to do? How can we explain this…"
"Lois, Chloe's known for years."
"She's known since high school."
"How is that possible?" Lois said furrowing her brow. "You said yourself Superman wasn't around until you came back."
"Lois you created Superman," Clark argued. "I've been an alien with super-powers my whole life on this planet. I saved you and Chloe and lots of people for years, before I started wearing tights and you came up with a name for me."
Lois' eyes widened. "So you told Chloe but never me?"
"Well I didn't exactly tell-"
"Pete knows!" Lois gasped in realization.
"Well, Pete found my old spaceship way back before I met you. That's why he moved away in fact."
"Not that Pete," Lois insisted before realizing that one knew too. "My god. Does everyone know but me?"
"No!" Clark said immediately. "Hardly anyone knows. Pete and Chloe both kinda found out and have always helped me to keep it a secret."
"They've been a part of your lies!"
"It's not that I've been lying to you…"
"They're your alibis!"
"People are in danger if they know!"
"Does Oliver know?"
Clark paused and knew he was in trouble.
Lois growled. "Bart? AC? Oh god… does Bruce know?"
Clark winced and explained, "Those guys are completely different circumstances."
"Bruce… Bruce doesn't talk to you, does he? About me?"
Clark wasn't sure what possessed him to answer, but total honesty seemed like his best hope. "He did mention something about a penis of st-"
"Oh god," Lois said feeling dizzy. She steadied herself and looked over at Clark. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Clark opened his mouth but was interrupted by Lois poking him hard in the chest. "I understand why you wouldn't when we first met but we've been best friends for years. I saved your heinie dozens of times."
Clark snapped his mouth shut, before opening his mouth again and getting interrupted once more. She snapped, "And if you feed me some crap line about protecting me, I will kick your ass."
Clark just opened his mouth and waited for Lois to speak up again. When it appeared she wasn't going to, Clark softly answered, "Honestly? I was scared how you'd react."
"What?" Lois yelped. "How well do you need to get to know me? Did you honestly think I might stop liking you?"
Clark sighed. "I don't know. Maybe?"
"You have got to be the stupidest person in the galaxy!"
"Okay I didn't think you'd care that much, but you could have and that would-"
"No I couldn't have," Lois said shaking her head with a sad smile. "You know what you mean to me. Even you aren't that dense."
"Yes I am," Clark argued. "And it's your fault. I can't think straight when it comes to you. Nothing makes sense but the thought of losing you is the most terrifying thing I can think of."
"God you're an idiot," Lois sighed and threw herself at him, kissing him for all he was worth.
Clark grabbed a hold of her and kissed her back, unaware they were floating on air.
Until they smacked into the ceiling.
"Dammit!" Lois cursed shaking her head back and forth. "I think you got plaster in my eye."
"Well why'd you open your eyes when we were kissing?"
"I only opened them when I felt the ceiling falling on us," Lois said spitting out flecks of debris that got into her mouth.
"Sorry," Clark admitted as he gently landed them both back on the ground. "But I told you, you addle my brain."
"Chloe thinks I'm just in love with you," Lois explained. "But seriously, you've got to have some super-pheromones that are geared towards me."
"Tell you what," Clark said raising a curious eyebrow. "I'll admit to the super-pheromones, if you admit that you might have invisible kryptonite on you."
"It does make sense," Lois agreed. "More so than just love at least. Super-pheromones and invisible kryptonite."
"It's another way of saying we were made for each other." Clark grabbed a hold of Lois and held her tighter as they settled comfortably in each other's embrace on the couch. "Maybe it's fate. Or destiny."
Lois nestled into his arms tighter. "You and me? Yeah, you're probably right. It is density."
Clark jerked his head up. "That's not what I-"
Author's Notes: This has been a fun little ride. I hope you all enjoyed it and leave me a review saying what you liked, disliked, laughed at, could do without, or simply that it was fun to read. Thanks for all the reviews. GO COLTS!
Lois and Clark: It's Density.