Title: Rice Wine Revelations
Author: desolate butterfly
Genre: humour, gen
Characters: Mugen/Fuu/Jin, touch of Mugen/Fuu
Rating: PG - 13 for swearing
Summary: Fuu's a bit unwise in her drinking habits and Mugen doesn't like it.


Fuu woke up to the sound of fifty angry bears scratching their claws down the side of a stone mountain. She frowned, put a hand to her aching head, and cracked open an eye.

When she could see through the blinding headache, she found out it was just Mugen sharpening his sword.

The man looked up as she gave a moan of pain and covered her face with her hands.

"So," he said loudly, "the little princess is finally awake."

"For the love of god, shut up," Fuu groaned. "I feel really sick."

The scrape of metal against stone continued and Fuu tried to stuff her fingers into her ears and cover her eyes at the same time. She wasn't successful.

Mugen just spoke louder. "I wonder why that might be?" he drawled, giving an extra loud scrape on the blade just to make her wince. "Maybe it's because you fuckin' drank six cups of goddamn sake last night, eh?"

"You had eight, yourself," Fuu pointed out in indignation.

"I can handle it. You, however, had to be carried out of the bar. Again."

Fuu uncovered her eyes and blinked at him. "You carried me?"

Mugen's face contorted and he pointed a dirty finger at her. "Fuck no," he shouted. "That pansy-ass Jin carried you. I wouldn't touch your ugly ass if you paid me!"

"That suits me just fine," she snapped back, crossing her arms over her chest. She would have flopped back onto the ground to sleep some more, except that Mugen wouldn't stop making noise with his sword. She peeked at him from behind her messy, sleep-wild hair and saw the tell-tale scowl on his face.

Maybe if she couldn't go back to bed, she could annoy him just as much as he was annoying her.

"Where is Jin anyway?" she asked, raising her voice in a deliberate whine.

Mugen gritted his teeth. "He's gone to get food."

"I hope he comes back soon," she simpered. "He's much better company. And he has some manners, unlike certain loud somebodies I could name."

The snort of dry laughter from Mugen's lips made Fuu's hands clench into fists.

"Oh yeah," he said, "like you're so fucking refined. Drinking yourself into a stupor and then puking all over the floor…"

"I did not!"

"Oh yes you did. And then you let Jin clean you up, and carry you out, and probably let him stick his cock up your ass too, while you were out of it—"

Fuu's shoe hit Mugen squarely in the head with a loud thwack. He glared at her and threw it back, but she ducked under the blow and glared at him.

"You just shut up," she shouted, panting with rage. "Jin would never do something like that and you know it!"

Mugen's scowl suddenly slid into a nasty leer and Fuu found herself drawing back, despite her fury.

"And how about me? Maybe after Jin laid your little virgin body out and left to find food I came along and took a little taste." He licked his lips. "I've had cunts younger than you, you know. It wouldn't have been difficult at all, the state you were in last night."

Fuu frowned and shook her head. "Don't be stupid," she said. "You didn't touch me at all."

Mugen pushed himself up on his feet and started slinking towards her, menacingly. Fuu sat in her bedroll, forehead wrinkled in confusion.


He hefted his sword in his hands and raised a lecherous eyebrow.

"How do you know?" he sneered. "I could have. You were helpless."

She stared hard at him for a few seconds—his grinning too-sharp teeth, the way his fingers were white-tipped along the hilt of his sword, the lazy snap to his spine that curled with tension.

Then she shook her head.

"Mugen, stop being an ass," she chided. "I'm not scared of you, and you wouldn't hurt me like that."

He gaped at her, and she started to smile.

"Besides which, I trust you!" she chirped, then settled back down into her bedding and shut her eyes.

There was a long moment of silence in which she could hear Mugen's erratic breathing. Then he gave a cry of inarticulate frustration and stomped out of the shelter, swearing viciously.

He brushed by Jin on the way out, and the quiet samurai gazed at him questioningly.

"She's fucking lost her mind," Mugen growled at him, stealing a large amount of apples from Jin's arms and stuffing one in his mouth. "You deal with her."

Then he was gone, disappearing into the thicket in a burst of speed. Jin shrugged and went inside the shelter. He found Fuu asleep on her bedroll and placed three apples beside her head before settling into his corner to eat the other two.

When Fuu woke up, she wouldn't tell him what had happened with Mugen, except to say that it was entirely his fault for being a dumbass.

Jin watched her eat her apples in huge, gluttonous bites and wondered to himself why she was smiling so cheerfully as she said it.